


Under The Skin

by LuckyCookie



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Character Death, Cheating, Depression, Divorce, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Family Issues, Father-Daughter Relationship, Friends to Enemies, Friends to Lovers, Heartbreak, Infidelity, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Partner Betrayal, Sexual Content, Underage Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-08-19 22:50:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 27
Words: 50,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8227418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyCookie/pseuds/LuckyCookie
Summary: She's got issues. Maybe too many.Sixteen year old Lyanna Stark doesn't know how to deal with them, how to fix them, because maybe she's unfixable after all. Breaking everything and everyone in her path, she finds herself in the middle of her own doings, chasing after her mother's ghost and struggling against her own feelings, trying not to end up just like everyone around her. "Love. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing"





	1. Clouds Up

**Author's Note:**

> So this just happened. I don't know where this is going yet. 
> 
> Why did I put that image there? Two reasons...  
> 1: It is what lead me to write this... I was watching skins and felt inspired to write something messy and angsty.  
> 2: She would be an amazing and fierce Lyanna :D

 

 

                                                                     

 

It was probably her ‘wolf-blood’. At least, that’s what everyone in her family often said. _Yeah, that’s probably it._ Her father always said she had a wild nature, the one that could drive anyone mad with anger, the kind that rushed faster than other people’s, maybe even hotter. The very same that they would always blame whenever she achieved one of her follies. But then again, it was probably just her and her wrecked mind.

After all, it was her wrecked mind the responsible this time. Her little scheme had worked out exactly as she wanted it to, every piece falling into place masterfully, messily, but yet, fitting perfectly. It was not difficult anyway, to get herself kicked out of boarding school. Even a witless one could pull it.  

With her skirt pulled up higher than it should, she followed the teacher through those perfectly illuminated hallways, ignoring the expensive art pieces hanging from the walls, ignoring every inch of that place’s pretentiousness. She’d go insane. Of course, that, if she already wasn’t. 

Her father already believed her spoiled, wrecked, _broken._ So it didn’t really matter. 

The night before was just one more scratch, one more little plot of hers that served for two things. The first thing, her sole amusement. Plain and simple as that, because, after all, she enjoyed chaos very much. The second, the most important one: To get out of that fancy prison they locked her in, hoping that they would train her like a dog. She was a wolf, not a dog.  

And as she walked out of the building with her chin up high and and a mid smirk that she knew would drive her father crazy, she couldn’t help but to wonder when would she stop, _if_ she ever did. 

Her father’s piercing gaze petrified her for a brief moment outside, a small moment in which her smirk reduced to nothing but a faltering grimace. Those silver eyes so much like hers that would never give anything away, were very telling that day. Did she care? Not really.  

“To the car” he could’ve just barked as well, but she did as she was told nonetheless, not before throwing one last defying glance in his way while taking her bags and throwing them in the back of the vehicle though.

She saw the headmaster saying goodbye to her father, with her straight posture and her pretended dignity, that fake grimace of loss upon her departure. Yes, she would be a perfect candidate to communicate with Rickard Stark. Cold and fond of pretending. 

Soon after, Rickard got into the car and put it in march, almost ignoring her existence. 

The only sound that could be heard was that of the soft and almost imperceptible humming of the engine, the silence was so sharp she felt as if she could very well be walking with bare feet upon shattered glass, but it was nothing new. It was always shattered glass with her father, the silences, the staring, that almost tangible disappointment pouring from every word he ever spoke to her. But it was fine, because it was mutual. 

She wondered what would he do with her now. Boarding school days were over, that much was clear. 

She leaned towards the window’s crystal, her head resting against it in what she supposed looked like a tired position. 

“You will go to the same school as your brothers now, if they take you. And you better pray that they take you there, Lyanna, because if not, a correctional seems like a good place for you” 

She kept toying with her fingers, eyes glued to them. The threat itself was concerning, it _should_ be -then why didn’t she feel anything?. But good gods, she’d rather end up in a correctional than to stay for another day at that pretentious little hole of idiocy where her father tried to lock her in. The sudden need of a cigarette attacked her, and she wondered what would he say if she just pulled one out in that very moment. Her mind went back to her previous musings, trying to push the nicotine taste away from her thoughts, and she found that, mayhap, she shouldn’t be worrying about a correctional, if she was worrying at all. 

That damned last name of hers meant something, after all. _The perks of being a Stark._ She thought bitterly. And she would have her brothers there. Another pretentious place, but at least with better company. 

“You are no longer allowed to leave the house after school. That is all” he sentenced sternly, never taking his eyes off of the road, and leaving quite clear that he would not hear a word of whatever she might think or say. 

She resisted the urge to jump and object against his dictation energetically, and gritted her teeth tightly. It was expected, after all, it didn’t came as a surprise. But the tone used, that damned authority he thought he had upon her. Once again, she thought about pulling a cigarette out. 


	2. Freedom Tastes Like Sand

With her feet sinking into the warm sand and her hair dancing wildly with every stroke of the breeze, Lyanna sighed deeply, feeling as her hair tangled in the reckless wind. She probably looked like a mess. _It’s too long. Maybe I should cut it._ She thought as she kept her eyes fixed on some of the freckles splashed all across her skin, shining like small sand grains under the sun. She oughted to do something about her paleness. 

Relieved to finally be able to feel her freedom, and not the heavy air and the long silences of her own house, she sighed once again. It was a nice feeling, after all that time. To be alone, free. 

First, the boarding school, and then, her own house, her own, personal luxury cage, assigned, of course, by her father. He was always claiming to know what was best for her. How wrong could he be? It wasn’t like such a measure would help… It certainly did not help her. It did not ease her anger towards him, it did not ease that anxiety that sometimes took over her. It only helped to increase those. 

So, when her father’s trip had came just in time, she felt like she could breathe again. Lyanna could’ve simply left that damned house without even leaving a single goodbye note. Not to her father, not to Ned, not to Brandon… Maybe Benjen, though. It was alarming how the thought of being a homeless person seemed extremely appealing back then. 

In the end, the man went to Volantis in a business trip, and she just couldn’t feel any happier, no matter how screwed up it might’ve seem, the girl felt incredibly relieved.  

Lyanna lowered her sight and took the small half-moon shaped pendant that hung from her bracelet between her slim fingers. It never stopped to surprise her, she was given that tiny pendant back to when she was just a girl of seven, and, unlike everything else, she never lost it. 

She couldn’t even properly remember how it was given to her, but only that her mother did, after a day on the beach, the day in which she ended up red as a tomato, with her skin roasted and sore, as a result of her usual disobedience, when she refused to stay under the umbrella next to quiet Ned, and decided to go after Brandon instead. That she did remember fairly well, those summers in King’s Landing, when her home was still the frozen north but they owned a summer residence in the capital. 

Unlike Brandon, she never liked King’s Landing. Not really. It was too crowded, too noisy, too _hot._ Of course, her brother always liked noisy, crowded and hot. But there was one thing she always liked, specially as a child, when she and her family -her _entire_ family-, used to visit the capital in the summer: The beaches. 

Not the extremely crowded ones, no. The ones that only the locals could find, the ones that were still peaceful and clean, with the white sand and the crystal blue waters, and maybe just small groups of people instead of the multitude that gathered in others. The ones she visited as a child. 

She could’ve just ramble upon it the entire day while sitting there, truly, it was an habit after all. If it only wasn’t for the football that almost landed in her head, but ended up buried in the sand next to her, making a small sandstorm in it’s falling and polluting her air, her hair, and probably her entire face too, since she felt the tiny grains against her skin and, of course, into her eyes. 

She shut her eyes tightly at the feeling of the damned sand, and a curse pushed past her lips the moment she felt the arduous sensation filling her irritated eyes with tears. “Seven hells! Great” she murmured as she desperately tried to wipe the sand from her eyes with her hands. 

“I’m so sorry. I told my brother not to throw it so hard. Are you okay?” she heard a rather sublime voice speaking to her. If only she could open her irritated eyes to stare at the person she wished to kill in that very moment. _Fuck._  

She felt the stranger closer to her, and she suspected _he_ was already crouched in front of her. “Oh, really? Well he probably should work on his aiming and you on your catching” she said as she opened her eyes with difficulty, wet trails marking her face as an evidence of her hurt sight. 

But the first things that hit her like a bus in that very moment, were those dark, purple eyes upon her, and the contrast between his cinnamon colored skin and the long, blond hair. The ridiculously symmetric, sharp features and the closeness that he dared to take while inspecting her, certainly did not help to her sudden lack of words. Neither did the fact that he was shirtless. It was a beach, of course he’d be shirtless. But then again… Was the dude even real? “Yeah, well… He’s not very good at it” he said with a lop-sided smile that soon faded away, giving space to a concerned grimace once again. She did not say anything. “Sorry” he said again, as if repeating his apologies would somehow change something. 

She wiped the last remains of the sand off of her face, if only to regain some of her comfort. 

“It’s okay” she finally managed to say against all odds, trying to keep the last remains of her dignity standing up in front of the stranger. The guy probably didn’t notice, but she felt rather stupid after staying speechless over some random stranger, _just because_. Shaking the thought away as she could, she grabbed the football from the ground and fetched it to him, and he took it. 

The charming stranger frowned a little before helping her up along with him, and she took the chance to shake the sand off of her bathing suit as well. She could very well be a breaded shrimp in that moment. “What a mess” she murmured as she bent over to pick her towel up. 

“Let me help you” The blond-haired stranger hurried with her towel, shaking it carefully not to bath her in sand - _again_ -, and placed it on the ground carefully, clean and just as comfortable as it was before the whole incident took place. At least he was considerate enough.

She looked down at her spot, it seemed pretty decent again, so she was ready to sit down. But before she could do it, and as if the guy could read her mind, he claimed “Oh, wait…” his eyes were looking down on her, most precisely, the top of her head. His height only seemed apparent in that minute in which she felt like a garden gnome before him, staring up at him without a single thought in mind. His hand travelled to the line of her hair, and she flinched in surprise, her soberness coming back to her almost immediately. But he quickly swayed the remains of sand from her dark locks, ignoring her surprise. “There you go.” he almost murmured.

His purple eyes examined her hair, as if looking for any trace of sand, which, apparently, he did not find. How uncomfortable it was. _Damn it._ Her eyes met his for one last time, in which she found herself, once again, speechless. A smile from him, and a few seconds later, he went back to his brother, leaving her in the middle of the lull he created. 

She raised an eyebrow. “Well, that was interesting…” Lyanna murmured to herself as she sat back down on her towel, her eyes following his athletic form across the beach.  

The brother was a youngest version of the stranger, with the same hair, the same tanned skin, but a lighter body complexion, and not as tall. She couldn’t tell if he had the same impressive eyes, since they were at a considerable distance, and even worse, they seemed to be leaving already. It’d be one of those mysteries she wouldn’t be able to resolve, she guessed.  

Whoever their parents were, she felt she could just congratulate them on making such freaking handsome creatures. 

If only her old friends from the 'all-girls' boarding school she assisted could see him. If they freaked out because of the random guys she invited to swim on the school's pool the night before they kicked her out, their panties would probably drop to the floor if they saw  _this_ guy. 

But then, it made her grin in mockery that, that was the very first time someone’s look reduced her to a speechless mess. It usually didn’t happen that way. So now she knew what guys that never dared to talk to her felt, those guys she usually mocked. Now she was mocking herself for the very same reason. It was only fair, right? 

She saw their forms disappearing in the distance, the amusement of the encounter lingering for a while longer before disappearing completely, and leaving her with her thoughts once again. 

Not soon after, Cersei Lannister arrived to their encounter point, sitting down next to her with flawless elegance and her eyes on her phone. “Sorry I’m late. Jaime had to drive me here” the Lannister girl deadpanned with her sight still fixed on her phone and her finger scrolling down. “He’s an idiot. He kept me waiting for ages” 

As if she even noticed. Between her infancy memories flooding her mind and the whole sand mess incident, she barely noticed the blonde’s absence. 

Cersei put the phone back in her bag, _Thank the Gods._  And as she took her short dress off to stay in a crimson bathing suit, she asked “So, when are you going to class?” the blonde folded the dress carefully and put it in her bag as well. 

“This week, I guess” Lyanna sighed at the thought.  

One good thing about moving to King’s Landing and being a future student in her brothers’ school, was that she and Cersei would probably be in the same classes. 

Lyanna never truly cared about having company in her former schools. She had a large group of ‘friends’ back there, but none with which she could truly speak. Party? Yes. Get herself in trouble with them? Absolutely. She was a natural leader for disaster, that was why they kicked her out. But someone she could actually talk with? No.

At least now, she had Cersei. 


	3. A Look Around

The first day was a like a blur. A messy, noisy blur. With many faces, many names she did not remember and didn’t truly care, some of them already familiar, some of them, not really. But they all seemed to know her. In such a place, everyone seemed to know more about herself than she herself. Because everyone knew everything about everyone. According to Cersei, it was only expected, since she was ‘new meat’, the novelty, a ‘hot novelty’, in Cersei’s flattering words. 

Yet, even when she did not give much interest to the curious ones, those were the same that seemed to be attracted to her lack of words -or lack of interest, if she had to put it in her own words. Of course, the fact that she was friends with Cersei Lannister, the golden girl, did not help to repel people. It encouraged them to come closer, and to even flatter her for the most trivial reasons. Not that she cared much about them anyway, as long as they didn’t bother her, Lyanna was perfectly fine. One things she did learn in her short life, was that, apparently, the more one ignored people, the more people seemed to be attracted. Why? The reason, however, was beyond her knowledge. 

“Earth to Lyanna… Are you even listening?” Cersei’s voice pulled the thread that connected her to the ground, and landed her feet right there again after the pull.  

Lyanna turned her gaze towards her, ignoring the expectant stares she was receiving from the girls in her new group of friends, curious eyes inspecting her closely. Cersei’s inquisitive eyebrow did not give much away, except of course, the fact that she was still expecting an answer to some possible trivial matter. “Not really” she admitted, and the blonde rolled her eyes at her. 

Cersei shifted in her position, pushing her blonde hair back before speaking “There’s a party next week. Are you coming or not?” she asked impatiently, apparently, for the second time. She knew about her ‘home imprisonment’, as she liked to call it. Not that it truly mattered, really. 

A party. She could use some fun, and since her father would be away in a few days, it’d be a sure thing. “Sure” was her limited answer, accompanied by a short, dull smile that died quickly.

“Perfect. It is a little far away, so we should go with Jaime, or, I don’t know, one of your brothers, maybe… I hate driving” and as Cersei continued speaking, and the others continued listening to her every word carefully, Lyanna’s attention dispersed once again.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to hear to whatever her friend had to say, but honestly, in her first day, Cersei could not really expect her to pay so much attention to her. She had always been an observant, she liked to watch people, to watch her surroundings, and to know what was going on around her. It was interesting, to read people. As long as one did not get involved, that was.

On the other side of the yard, Ned was sitting on the grass, ankles crossed and eyes lost somewhere in between some Tully girl she shared a class with, and her sister, mouthing something unknown to her, to Robert Baratheon, his apparent siamese brother. How was it even possible for someone like Ned to have a friend like Robert? Robert Baratheon was in fact more like their older brother, Brandon, than anyone else. And as soon as she landed her eyes on Ned’s heavily builded friend, she realized that he was staring right back at her, hungry, blue eyes, and arms crossed upon his chest. 

Lyanna smirked in acknowledgment, she’d recognize that idiotic expression anywhere. _Horny idiot._ The guy looked like he could simply leave Ned talking alone, and approach her. Her brother was certainly wasting words with him, and she could very well imagine it all, including Ned’s indignation. Who didn’t know Robert Baratheon’s ways anyway? She had heard so much about him, at least from Ned and, of course, Brandon. Her older brother would certainly be very proud of his disciple. A shameless lad he was, and he would certainly have no problem in approaching her and start some stupid conversation to try to get into her pants. Ned’s friend was a good looking guy, granted. Were she in a better mood she could even encourage his poorly concealed interest. But in that very moment, it was simply not appealing to her. 

She quickly turned her gaze away, one more second, and Baratheon would’ve approached her, doubtlessly, and she would rather avoid any kind of contact with him for the moment. 

What else was there to see? 

A glimpse of blonde hair, not Cersei’s, not Jaime’s either, caught her eye. His face, his long hair tucked in a bun, _the eyes_. Those eyes. It was the guy from the beach, the one that almost buried her alive for the sake of a damned football the other day. The hot stranger from the beach went to her new school. Wasn’t that an interesting beginning then? 

The lad was carelessly resting his back against a tree, sitting on the grass with his legs bended, book in hand and stare glued to the book, as if he was hypnotized by it. How curious. 

She narrowed her eyes slightly, trying to figure out which book was the one that had him in some kind of trance. She tried to guess by the cover, but it was useless, the distance was too big, and her sight was certainly not the greatest. Damn, she knew she had to use glasses. Maybe if she got closer and-

“Forget it” like a pair of bells sounding right next to her ear, Cersei’s velvety voice caressed her skin, and she jerked as she felt the closeness between them. Her friend was just a few centimeters away from her, amused eyes staring at her with interest, a knowing smile stretching her lips. 

“What?!” she asked, her lips still parted when caught red handed.  

Cersei grinned in satisfaction, and she made a motion with her head towards his direction. “Rhaegar. He’s mine” she stuck her tongue out in a playful manner, and her green eyes followed the same path towards the hot stranger from the beach. “Is he?” Lyanna narrowed her eyes in suspicion. 

“He will be. Just wait and see” Cersei smirked.

“And what exactly stops you right now?” Lyanna felt the sudden necessity of asking, a raised eyebrow expectant at the blonde’s reply. Did Cersei ever wait for something when she wanted it?

The blonde’s expression immediately fell, a weary sigh pushing past her lips “I’m waiting for him to dump that boring girlfriend of his” Cersei denied with her head, lips pursed in displease. “There she is. Look at her. Isn’t that sad?” 

At a thunder’s speed, and like a cat searching for it’s prey, Lyanna turned her head towards him once again, curiosity biting her every being. Who was this guy’s girlfriend anyway? Was she truly as sad as Cersei had painted her?  

And just as the blonde predicted, the stranger’s -Rhaegar’s- girlfriend, was already sitting next to him, her hands fluttering around his arm in what seemed to be a feather like touch, and a gentle smile upon her thin lips. There was nothing wrong with her, not really. Cersei Lannister could be pretty fatalistic whenever she wanted to, and to lessen her ‘enemies’, even more so. 

The girl she was staring at, had nothing to envy to any other. With bronzed skin, long, straight, jet black hair, and a pair of dark, shining eyes, she could pretty well be described as ‘exotic’ looking. And _that_ was interesting, no matter what Cersei had to say against her. The girl was not plain looking, at all.  

“What’s sad is that envy does not fit you, Cers” Lyanna laughed, with her eyes still fixed on the couple, at least, until the dark haired girl looked straight at her and she had to turn her gaze away. 

“Don’t even mention it. They’ve been together like… Forever. He could do so much better than Elia Martell, Gods…” The blonde bit her lip before a mischievous smile curled them up. Was she imagining herself next to the guy? Whoever he was, he certainly had Cersei’s interest, and that, she knew, was not easy to get. Not like he couldn’t have it anyway. 

“I’m actually surprised that you haven’t got your way already” Lyanna commented, strange as it was. 

Cersei pressed her lips together, lowering her gaze as she sighed “He’s a faithful one. Ah, what a shame” she lamented as if the trait was a bad thing. 

The guy certainly had her respect already. Not falling for Cersei’s imminent beauty and bold moves, was already an achievement. At least if one was a man. Apparently, that one had a brain. 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

The moment she entered, her father’s eyes widened at the intrusion, his surprise only mitigated by his stern, usual mask. 

The woman sitting next to him in the living room smiled politely, her straight, black hair falling to her shoulders gracefully, her smile forming two dimples in her cheeks. 

She didn’t need to be a genius to understand what was happening there, or who she was. She was not interested either. Her father could do as he pleased, she would not intervene in his matters. Oh, how she wished he did not intervene in hers. But damned be her age and her financial dependency.  

“Hi” she simply greeted, throwing one last, quick glance towards them before storming upstairs.  

Once in her room, she threw her backpack on the bed, and she kicked her shoes off. 

Soon after, a knock on her door made her stare at it for a seconds. It was him, she knew. “What?” she asked loudly enough to be heard.

The door opened, and just as she suspected, her father’s figure appeared on the doorframe. 

If he was there to reproach her for her rude behavior, she would understand, just as he should understand that she did not want anything to do with the woman downstairs, whomever she might be. 

“Is everything alright?” surprisingly, there was not a pinch of displease in his tone, his face relaxed. 

“Yes” she replied instantly while opening her drawers in search of a comfortable t-shirt to wear. 

She did not receive an immediate answer, so she supposed he would leave. Instead, he stood there, standing straight in his position. 

“You should be more polite when we have guests in the house” she probably should. But she didn’t want any involvement in his business. It was his and only his to deal with, she would not be burdened. 

She took the first t-shirt she found, throwing it in the bed. “She was not my guest. But fine, I’ll have it mind.” 

“No, she was my guest. That’s exactly why.” 

She was often said to be sly. Clever. But if she had truly been those, she could have easily avoided that conversation by ‘sacrificing’ herself for the sake of politely downstairs. Now, in that position, there was nothing to do but to deal with the consequences she had brought upon herself all on her own. “Fine” 

That had to be satisfactory enough for him. 

Only moments later, her father left without another word.


	4. Black Lights

"Did dad leave already?" she asked, her coffee cup still steaming in her hand.

Her brother looked at her with wide eyes, eyes extremely wide for anyone awake at six in the morning. How did he do it? 

Ned nodded. "He left this morning" Wary eyes followed her across the kitchen. 

"Are you going to the party tonight?" she asked, only to confirm his suspicions. Not even her father forbid her to go out while he was out, he knew it would be useless, and Ned knew too. There was no point in hiding it. 

"I still don't know. Maybe..." Ned hummed. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first thing she noticed, was the inhabited street the house was located in. From the looks of it, one could say it was some kind of fucking ghost neighborhood or something like that, but to say that would be out of proportion, since only two blocks of the neighborhood seemed to be pretty abandoned. Abandoned, yes, but not disregarded. The apparently empty houses around were dapper, the gardens taken care of in the southron manner: perfectly clean, pretentious, expensive looking. The structures: flawless. The owners were probably just traveling or something of the sort. That was why it was so convenient to just throw a party at that moment, in one of the many residences the Tyrells owned. 

The loud music, black lights and people coming in and out of the house in groups, made the location of the party pretty obvious to anyone. 

“Ladies” Jaime smiled made a gesture with a hand for them to go ahead and get in, while Cersei took the lead and put herself in the front.

Inside, there were only black lights all over, the fluorescent colors of clothing, plastic cups, anything really that could react to the light, popping out in a psychedelic manner. 

The living room was a mess of empty bottles, people dancing, some screaming due to the extremely loud music, some making out shamelessly. Having passed all of those obstacles, the trio found a comfortable spot near an entrance to the backyard.  

“Jaime, be a dear and get us something to drink” Cersei smiled with pretended sweetness to her brother. Lyanna still tried to understand why did Jaime even bother with Cersei’s demands, but it was probably a twin thing. They often looked after each other, Cersei’s bossy nature was probably nothing new to the Lannister heir, having grew up with it, one could get used to it. She knew, since she was used to it. 

Jaime sighed wearily, but agreed nonetheless. “I’ll be right back” he sentenced before his form got lost in the middle of the dancing crowd. 

“I thought you were only doing pills?” Lyanna commented dully, recalling exactly how many times the blonde claimed that she would have to stop her ingest of alcohol, in order to maintain her slimness. In her exact words, _‘Pills give you better feels, and they don’t make you fat’_

Cersei nodded in agreement, pouting her lips while crossing her arms over her chest. “The guy with the pills is not here yet. I’m not waiting” she pointed out. 

Lyanna looked around. In such a party, to find someone who had pills, well, it was no big deal. But Cersei probably had her reasons, it was probably someone she trusted, perhaps? It could be. It made sense, after all. 

Only moments later, Jaime appeared out of nowhere, with the drinks in hand and a smug smile plastered on his face. He handed them the drinks in a rush. “Here. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve business to take care of…” his eyes were fixed on something, or maybe someone, behind them. She didn’t even bother to look back, but Cersei did, as she always did when it came to her brother. She lifted an eyebrow as she saw her twin retreating, and Lyanna didn’t have to second guess. “Alerie Hightower? Who would’ve thought…” oddly, the sentence stopped there.

Jaime’s success with girls was nothing new. And she did not even know who Cersei was speaking of anyway. She supposed that, the fact that Cersei didn’t say tons of shit about the girl, was a good thing, since nobody ever escaped her judgement. 

After Jaime left, it wasn’t long before some random guy approached them. The guy looked slightly drunk, dark haired and lean, cup in hand, his t-shirt slightly wet with gods knew what. He looked at the two of them, but his eyes remained in Lyanna in the end, the ghost of a smile in his face. She knew that one, he was from their school. “Hello, girls” he dragged the words a little, an unequivocal proof of his drunkeness. 

“Don’t even try, Galbart” Cersei warned him, lips pursed in a disgusted grimace that had Lyanna’s amusement on the tip of her tongue. But to let it out, the laughter, well, it’d be cruel. It was still funny though, the guy’s face fell to the floor in shame. “Wanker” Cersei complained before drinking again. 

The guy who she identified as ‘Galbart’ flew away, tail between his legs as he got lost amongst the bunch of people. Poor guy. At least he was brave enough as to face Cersei Lannister in a party. Brave enough, or drunk enough. 

It wasn’t long before they found their group of friends, since, practically, her entire school was there. Some of them, already drunk. Melara Hetherspoon, the one that was always running behind Cersei, she was a good example of it. 

“You’ve no idea of what Edmure just did!” she giggled in Cersei’s shoulder, a hand grabbing Lyanna’s arm for only a moment before it got loose again. She couldn’t even properly hear what she was saying, so she just pretended to hear, while drinking from her cup. 

On the other side, she caught a pair of hungry eyes that observed her fiercely. Robert Baratheon stood close, in front of her, a satisfied smile shamelessly plastered on his face. 

“Lyanna” he almost smirked while taking a few steps towards her, his deep, blue eyes were eating her alive. That much she could tell. 

She turned towards him to face him, holding his stare boldly. “Is Ned with you?” Lyanna asked as she turned her sight to take a look around, failing at finding her brother.

Robert denied with his head “No, no. He decided to stay in the end.”

“Shocking” 

She failed to see Ned at one of those parties anyway. Her dear brother always preferred quieter places, less noisy, less messy. “Well, you know Ned.” he laughed “What about you? Have your companion left you?” he asked, his head making a motion towards an extremely messed up Melara Hetherspoon, with Cersei grabbing her by the arm, with the help of Ashara Dayne. 

She looked at Robert again, and there it was, the smirk she was waiting for. 

She shrugged. Cersei and Ashara were probably taking the girl to the bathroom, she looked like she could use it. It wasn’t even _that_ late to be _so_ fucked up.  

Robert, calling her name and making her forget about Cersei, Melara and Ashara, extended his hand towards her, between his fingers, a small, white, round pill she knew too well. _Robert, Robert._ “Do you want some?” he offered, his stare hungry for a ‘Yes’. She would have to turn him down. 

“Not tonight, Robert” she declined the offer with a mid-grin. All Lyanna knew, was that it was not a smart idea to mix pills and alcohol. Otherwise, she could end up even worse than Melara, and that, was definitely not something she was looking forward to. She only liked to be ‘fucked up’ when she could still control it. 

“As you wish, then” he said, before saving the pill back into a small plastic bag and put it back into his pocket. “Dance?” he offered, and before she knew it, his arm was already boldly surrounding her waist. Why did he even ask then? 

Robert was everything but shy. When other guys seemed almost too intimidated to go near her, he already had his feet crossing the line and his arm around her waist.  

In the end, she would give it a chance. What could go wrong? It wasn’t like she didn’t find him attractive anyway. He was fairly handsome. 

The fast beat of trance was not exactly adequate to dance as a couple, but Robert insisted, not so much in a romantic manner, but rather in an attempt to make a point pulling her impossibly close, his strong hold almost suffocating. One didn’t need to be a genius to understand the meaning behind his bold moves and heated responses. He wanted to get laid.  

And just as she predicted, he made his move. The moment he leaned in and tried to kiss her, she turned her face to a side, and his lips found nothing but her dusted cheek. She grinned as she felt him depositing a lingering, hot kiss there, failing in his attempt, but leaving his heated intentions quite clear. 

She remained like that for a few more moments, ignoring Robert’s silent plead, ignoring the hunger in his hold, and the way his lustful breath kept brushing her neck. The guy was sure boiling, and he didn’t mind showing it.

He tried once more to kiss her lips, but that time, she pushed him away, hands firmly on his chest, even when he tried to pull her back. “I don’t feel like it” she simply stated, with what she knew looked like a malicious gesture. She was having fun with his frustrated wants, there was no denying it. It was what leaded her to do such a thing.

His face fell, and his expression was a lot less fun then. Was he frustrated? Absolutely, his face was very telling, after all.

Lyanna took one step back, dancing freely that time, smirking in mockery. Robert stood still for a few seconds, observing her with the same eyes as before, but not so pleased this time. Only a few moments later, he faded amongst people, leaving a trace of frustration behind him that only fed her amusement. 

She wondered what would Ned say if he saw his best friend trying to stick his tongue in his sister’s mouth. He would probably freak out. 

Feeling like the room was already too crowded, she decided to leave for a more comfortable place, one she could actually walk in. In the end, she went out to the yard, where she found people laying on the grass, and where the sound from the inside seemed to disperse more. 

The inside was fun, but the backyard was better. 

“Hi” a soft, feminine voice suddenly said behind her. _What the hell?_

She turned around to find a quite familiar face. The Tully girl. The redhead from her history class. The same Ned stared at with puppy eyes just a few days earlier.  

“Hi” she greeted back, leaning her back against a stilt and finishing her drink. She would need another soon. 

The girl in front of her made a smiling grimace. “You’re Lyanna. Stark. You’re in my history class, right?”

“Yes. And you are… Catelyn, right?” Wether her name was Catelyn, or Katy, or something of the sort. She could not be sure. 

“Yes, yes.” Catelyn smiled. 

“Do you know my brother?” Lyanna asked, remembering Ned’s lost stare the other day in the yard of the school. 

The girl, however, gave her an unexpected reply. “Brandon? Yes” Catelyn answered, a thin, faint smile crossing her lips. 

She knew Brandon, then. Could she have been one of the girls in his army of girls -or skanks, as Brandon himself referred to them? She doubted it. She certainly didn’t look like one, and didn’t act like one either. 

“Brandon? Were you his friend?” ‘Friend.’ Lyanna thought of Brandon’s female ‘friends’.

“Ah, no… I mean… We used to talk, sometimes. I used to help him with calculus” were not for the darkness, Lyanna could’ve sworn that she flushed after saying it. Ah, Brandon’s mind was sure not one of the brightest for math. 

So she fancied Brandon. That much was clear, judging by her intense blushing and the way she spoke about him. “But he left, and we never really spoke again” Catelyn commented as Lyanna drank from another plastic cup she found, the bitter taste of the alcohol caressing her tongue. If she kept drinking like that, she might just embarrass Catelyn by asking her why exactly did a girl like her fancy Brandon. 

Instead, she smiled and decided to take the path of decency, the one that would not embarrass the girl. “He’s too busy with university right now anyway.” It was her way of telling her that he probably was not into her. To encourage the girl’s infatuation would be criminal, after all. Knowing her brother as she did. 

Catelyn Tully simply nodded, her shoulders shrugged a little. She probably knew already. Why would she want Brandon anyway? She seemed to be one of those smart girls, at least in class. Responsible too, judging by the soda filled cup she held in her hand, no cigarettes, no fuckboy near. It was a mystery to her. But opposite poles always attracted. Or, in that case, one of the poles was more attracted to the other.  

“There you are, Catelyn!” the one that she thought was her sister has came out of nowhere, an indignant expression frowning her eyebrows. “We’re leaving. Now!” the girl angrily said, pointing her finger down to the ground.

“Alright… Calm down” Catelyn almost begged, trying to calm her sister down, who was still almost screaming something about some guy named ‘Petyr’, or at least Lyanna thought she heard that name. “Bye, Lyanna. See you on monday” Catelyn waved her good bye before being pulled away by her hysterical looking sister. 

Once again, she was alone there. Looking for Cersei was no difficult task, she just had to ask anyone, and they would tell her. And she found her, of course, locking lips with Robert Baratheon, no less. Maybe he was ‘the guy with the pills’ she mentioned earlier, after all.

Judging by their excitement, if she could call it that, she guessed there was no way for her to interrupt whatever was going on between them. She would simply let Cersei enjoy herself all she wanted. If Lyanna had something like that going on, she would do it too.  

Lyanna searched for Jaime then, but Cersei’s twin was nowhere to be found. Earth had swallowed him. _How convenient._  

All she wanted by then, was to throw herself in her bed and sleep until the next day. And… There was only one solution to her dilemma, and she could already see the disapproving stare Ned would surely give her. _Shit._  

She went out to the street, taking her phone out of her bag, dialing her brother’s number with crossed fingers. He would answer. He had to. 

She called Ned on his phone a few times, and the beeping sound turned every time more and more annoying. How unlikely that was? Of all time, Ned had decided not to pick his phone up _that_ night. _Great._

She snorted, her mind suddenly thinking about a possibility that quickly faded away. Her house was too far away to go walking. Apparently, the only hope for her, was to wait for the Lannister twins until they both hit whatever they wanted to hit. _Just great._

She sat alone on the sidewalk, a cigarette already dancing between her fingers. The wait would be long, she knew. Was she supposed to wait for Cersei and Jaime, until they were done fucking, then? 

She looked around, just in case a familiar face popped out of the crowd, Melara, Ashara, anyone really. Of course, one that did not gave her the ‘Want to fuck?’ look would be just as fine. Her search was unsuccessful. 

In the middle of a small group, she found a quite familiar form, however. _Rhaegar._ She recalled his name. 

He was standing on the sidewalk, a few meters away from her, apparently, saying good-bye to a group. He was alone, the dark haired girl from the other day was nowhere to be seen, she noticed soon. He was smiling, and Gods, how handsome could the guy be? Tall and lean and tanned and that ridiculously perfect smile and- 

 _Fuck._ He turned his gaze then, and found hers. Of course, she did not looked away, not even if she was caught in the act. 

He narrowed his eyes slightly, recognition crossing his features instantly. He _did_ remember her. His grin and the fact that he was approaching her all of the sudden told her so.

“Hey” he smiled, showing a set of perfectly aligned, white teeth. “You’re the girl from the beach” he said carelessly, and he was already standing next to her in just a few seconds. 

Looking up at him, she felt like a garden gnome, so she stood up in order to ease the sensation. 

“Lyanna” she corrected, and she could already feel her own grin stretching her lips from ear to ear “I hope your brother’s launch has improved” 

“Daeron still sucks. I’m sorry” he chuckled, pulling a few strands of hair back “Lyanna… You are Brandon’s little sister, right?” 

The fact that he just called her ‘Brandon’s little sister’ was a let down. Brandon, of course. One more time that night, her older brother made act of appearance. 

She would lie if she said that the whole ‘Brandon’s little sister’ was not slightly annoying. But instead of complaining, she resolved she would fix it. “I would say Brandon’s _smart_ sister, but yes. Lyanna Stark” she introduced herself. 

He laughed then, and she found that it was a nice sound, his laughter. And pleasing too. “You’re leaving?” She asked when she saw his car keys in his hand. Rhaegar assented. “I am. Are you staying?” he looked down on her.

For a brief moment, she forgot she had to wait for the Lannisters. “I have to wait for Jaime, and Cersei” Lyanna made a grimace, pressing her lips tightly together. 

The next time they went to a party, she would definitely bring her car along. Or something. 

Rhaegar formed a silent ‘o’ with his lips, his eyebrows lifting in acknowledgement. “I… I can give you a ride home, if you want” he offered. The beginning of the sentences seemed hesitant, but in the end, as if he had decided to just go for it in the last minute, he just spilled it all with much more confidence. 

She didn’t have to think much to give him an answer. She nodded, not instantly, but after a few seconds. 

Her night would definitely end in the most unexpected manner. Cersei making out with some guy? She expected it. Jaime disappearing? It could happen. She, finding herself willing to get on a stranger’s car, even though her antisocial nature? Not expected. Eager to go home? Even less. And she wouldn’t even mention the fact that she was leaving before the sunrise. But it was fine. 

She followed him to his car, that ended up being a black Rover parked just around the corner of the street. “Get in” he invited her before he himself got in. She stepped inside after he threw a coat forgotten on the front seat, to the back seat, and immediately, the smell of leather invaded her nostrils. 

He started the vehicle, and started maneuvering. “Do you know where my house is?” she questioned just after she realized she had agreed to go with him without even knowing if her house was on his way. Of course, he had offered his help. 

“Yes, we used to go to Brandon’s place sometimes” he added as he turned to the right. He turned the radio on, and an Arctic Monkeys song was on. She loved them. “Were you not in another school?” his voice interrupted her mental singing then. 

She grinned. “I _was._ Until they kicked me out” she didn’t have to hide it, he would find out anyway. Gossip was fast. 

He smiled in amusement, scratching his forehead with a finger “Why?” his attention diverted for a few seconds from the road, to her. “If I might ask”

He already did. “I threw a pool party in a boarding school. At night” she didn’t know why, but she skipped the ‘I also invited a bunch of guys in an all girls boarding school’ part. Was it truly necessary to bring it up? He would assume such a thing anyway, wouldn’t he? 

He laughed again, at least the guy seemed pretty amused with her short story. 

“And why were you trying to get yourself kicked out? You didn’t like it there?” he looked at her for a brief moment before diverting his glare back to the road. 

“How did you…?” He figured her out. There was no denying, it was pointless. She shook her head before speaking again. “No, I didn’t. It was a hideous place. Like a luxury prison, sort of” she snorted. 

“Couldn’t you just ask your dad to take you out?” 

If he only knew. Her father wouldn’t move a finger for her, and the farthest, the better. Of course, he would probably not understand such a thing, so instead of explaining the whole ‘I-have-a-fucked-up-relationship-with-my-father’ situation, she gave him a short answer that would just prevent him from asking any further. “It’s complicated” 

Silence. It worked. 

“Well, that sucks…” 

“It does” she sighed. 

Only then, she noticed they were a block away from her house. 

He parked outside. “Well, we’re here” he pointed out, grabbing a bottle of water from the cupholder. 

She grabbed her purse, searching for anything that could’ve dropped out of it just in case. She didn’t find anything, so she opened the door in order to get out of the car. 

“Thanks for the ride. It was nice meeting you, ‘guy from the bach’” she teased, and he smiled at her. 

“Okay, ‘Brandon’s little sister’” Damn him. 

She closed the door with an amused grin on her face, the last trace of his features and his cocky smile getting lost behind the dark crystal of the window. 

And as soon as she opened her house’s door, his car disappeared. 

Holy shit. She felt like an idiotic girl drooling over some idiotic guy. Except that she wasn’t one of those girls, and he, apparently, wasn’t one of _those_ guys. 

As soon as she settled herself under the covers of her bed, in the most utter darkness, her phone’s screen shined energetically, illuminating a portion of a wall near her bed. It was a message, from Cersei.

_‘Where are you? Did you left? You’re not answering your phone, are you alright?’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to Arctic Monkeys while writing this, that's why I decided they were listening to it too xD


	5. Misplaced Attraction

Elia’s touch was warm on his arm as she leaned her head on his shoulder, her hand going up and down on his arm, her flowery scent dancing in the air. Quiet nights like that one was just the usual, at least, between them. It was fine. The familiarity, the warmth, the closeness. 

He grabbed her hand and deposited a feather light kiss on it, one of those that used to make her blush intensely. Was it because she was very fond of gallant gestures? She always said so. “And when are you leaving?” Rhaegar asked, letting her hand go. 

She shifted in her position on the couch, facing him then, batting her lashes a few times. “In two weeks. My mom has already booked my ticket” 

Rhaegar hummed in her shoulder, aspiring her scent once again. Elia was always fond of Dorne, it was her homeland, after all. The fact that her mother had to go back for a few weeks in order to take care of her eldest brother, was even a stronger reason to go. “You should come with me” she mentioned softly, cupping his face with her small hands tenderly. 

The invitation came as a surprise to him, even if he knew he would have to go with her someday. It was unexpected, at least at such a time. Never before she had asked him to go to Dorne with her. Much less in such a situation, with her brother’s delicate health state, he thought she would want to be alone with her family. But that was probably just what he would’ve done if he was in her shoes, and Elia, well, she was slightly different. 

“If you want me to” she kissed him softly, interrupting him briefly “I can go with you” he continued when they separated, pulling a small portion of her hair with his fingers, and curling it around one of them. 

Her smiled widened as she made a small sound of unmistakable happiness. He would go with her if she wanted him to, of course he would be there to support her. And to spend at least a few days in Dorne did sound appealing. 

It would be strange though, for him. He already knew her mother. She was, indeed, a lovely woman, kind and nice to everyone, soft spoken -the day he met her mother, he figured where Elia’s soft speaking manners came from-. A lovely human being she was. Her brother, Oberyn, on the other side… He was the other face of the coin. Arrogant and insolent, his girlfriend’s brother was not exactly his favorite person to hang out with. Oh, how he had wanted to raise his eyebrows and give him an amused laughter the moment he threatened to ‘damage those pretty teeth’ if any harm came to his sister. It sounded more like a joke to him than anything else, despite acknowledging the seriousness in Oberyn's voice. What an annoying character that was. 

But Doran… He had never met Doran before, and Elia’s eldest brother was a mystery to him. If he were to know him, he only hoped the youngest did not imitate the behavior of the eldest. 

“Now tell me, how was the party the other day?” Elia pulled his hand a little, and it took him a few seconds to process such an abrupt change in the subject. 

Ah, the party, of course. 

“It was fine.” he shrugged “Arthur won a drinking contest. And broke a window.” he added at the end, recalling amusedly the moment in which his best friend threw a bottle towards the huge window in the Tyrell house. His intentions, however, were still unclear.  Janna Tyrell was probably still regretting that party. “It would’ve been better if you were there” he said in the end, already hearing Elia's next words in his head.

Elia hummed softly, and then, she did not disappoint. “You know I don’t really like that kind of parties. People there, well… Look at what they do to Arthur!” she chuckled. She despised the 'vulgar behavior', as she often called it. “But if those are _your_ kind of parties…” she lifted her eyebrows, pouting her lips. Ah, how many times did he hear her before complaining about it? He lost the count. 

For someone her age, Elia had the frame of mind of a grown, sophisticated woman. His own mother never got tired of saying so, and certainly never got tired of admiring her for it. An appealing treat, since he liked her maturity and her cleverness so much. Those were what attracted him the most in her. But if only she could relax a little sometimes, that would be fine too. 

Of course, flawed as he was, he would never give it much importance. He knew he had his own 'treats' that were hard to deal with. 

“Oh, come on…” he smiled at the implications in her words, gaining a raised eyebrow from her “I’m ‘ _one of those guys_ ’ now?” 

Elia threw one quick look at him, one that had him intrigued. “Maybe you are. You like _those_ parties, you have _those_ friends… I’m not sure anymore” she teased, putting her index finger under her chin. 

He sighed. There was no possible way for him to win the 'argument'. “And what about my girlfriend?” 

At that, Elia smirked. “Well, that one… She’s refined, smart… My, seems like it’s not all bad after all. You are so lucky.” 

Indeed, she was all of those, and she was well aware.  

“Come here” he grinned, catching her waist between his hands and pulling her closer, kissing her deeply, the spark suddenly lit within. He liked it when she broke out of character, there was something uncontrolled about her whenever it happened. So unlike her, always in control, always in her mold, and all of the sudden, her composure could be shattered with a touch or a kiss.   

But that, would not be one of those nights in which she broke character, evidently. The second she felt his hands going down to her leg, she put her own hands in his chest and separated him a little. “Wait” she stopped him, slightly short of breath.

“What?”

“We just asked our food, and we were supposed to watch the movies we like… After that…” she gave him _that_ look, dragging her words in the end.

He sighed in defeat. Trying to change her plans, had not been a good plan. “Alright”

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

“And Melara threw up all over herself… It was disgusting. After that, Ashara took care of her, because, fuck… I can’t even smell puke, much less _clean it._ I would’ve ended up just like her” 

Lyanna made a disgusted grimace. It did sound disgusting, and she knew about Cersei’s delicate standards for gross. She was not the most resistant, even when she was though and strong minded for some things, gross things were her deathly enemies. Still, and luckily for Melara Hetherspooon, Ashara and a rarely seen nice Cersei took care of her, despite of whatever repulsion Melara's vomit could've cause in Cersei. “Who took her home?” she dared to ask, wondering who could’ve been the kind soul. Maybe she and Jaime did. 

“Ashara did.” Cersei wiped her thoughts clean “She had to take both Melara _and_ her extremely drunk brother” Cersei mentioned. “And Jaime, ugh, you had to see him. Alerie was sucking his face so hard I thought she would eat him” she rolled her eyes. It was funny, to see her so concerned about her brother. Even in her twisted way of showing it, Cersei cared for him, a big deal. Her new way of showing it, was to appear disgusted and even uneasy at her brother’s making out session. How curious, she was doing the very same thing with Robert Baratheon. But she remained quiet, if Cersei didn't bring the subject, she would, if only to tease her. “I would’ve dragged him out of any room if I had to for him to take me back home, I don’t care if he was…” she paused for a moment, lips pursed in displease “Whatever…” she threw her hands in the air. 

And then, Lyanna found her chance, her lips curling up in a mischievous smile. She could already see the reprimand in Cersei’s eyes before she even said it. “Robert would’ve taken you home” 

And Cersei’s eyes widened a little, her lips parted in surprise, only to grin later. The look Lyanna predicted, passed through her eyes, but only faintly. “So, you saw that” the blonde stated, looking slightly taken aback. 

“Who didn’t?!”

“Well, what can I say? He’s an amazing lay” she proudly claimed. 

Robert certainly looked _experienced._ Experienced enough as to leave Cersei happy with the results. Pleasing Cersei Lannister was not an easy task, so, she supposed, her friend had her reasons for saying so. Lyanna could not say much about the subject anyway. 

From one moment to another, Lyanna looked down to the people climbing the stairs beneath them. And as he made his way through the very same stairs, her eyes involuntarily followed him. Rhaegar Targaryen looked up at her as well, a lopsided smile on his face the moment he saw her. 

_Oh._

“Lyanna” he greeted her, giving her a look and a charming smile as he slowed his pace down to meet her. He had an amused look on his face, one that told her he was going to say something, and had her wondering. “Let me know if you need another ride” he mockingly said. Well, that was all? “Cersei” he acknowledged the blonde too shortly after. 

“Hey” Lyanna smiled loosely back at him “Oh, shut up” she responded to his teasing, and her eyes continued to follow him. She heard Cersei saying something in response, but she could not focus on it, because, for fuck's sake, she was making eye contact with the guy, and for some reason, it ruined her balance of thought.  

He chuckled at whatever Cersei said, and before she knew it, he was already on his way once again. “Got to go, I’m already late. See you around” 

It was quick and slightly confusing, the way she saw him disappearing in the hallway. What did just happen to her? Gods, the heat of King's Landing was affecting her brain. 

And only after he left, she realized Cersei was looking at her with her ‘what-the-hell-was-that’ expression written all over her face. It was only fair, she herself surely had it plastered on her face too. Had Cersei noticed her wits had abandoned her for a brief moment when he approached? Fuck, she could already feel her cheeks blushing. 

“What was that?” Cersei questioned her, giving her an odd look. 

Oh, that whole friendly greeting had just earned her an interrogation. 

“He drove me home the other night” Lyanna clarified, noticing the urgency in her friend’s stare, and lessening whatever thing that had gone through her mind. Was that about Cersei's crush on the guy? Because she could still recall Cersei’s words. _He’s not mine yet._   

“You didn’t mention it…” indeed, she did not. What was the point? It wasn’t a remarkable thing, a ride from someone. 

“It wasn’t important” Lyanna deadpanned. 

“Right” the blonde narrowed her eyes at her, as if trying to figure something out. There was nothing to figure out, but Cersei’s alarming, suspicious nature. “How did that even happen?! Let’s go get inside and tell me” in the end, the blonde threw a short gasp that accompanied a wide grin. 

And for the next forty minutes, in the middle of history class, it was all about how she got a ride from Cersei’s crush. She made it as short as she could through Cersei’s inquisitive questions. It was a short story, not much to tell. 

Still, even when there was not much to tell, she kept replaying that night in her head, every detail, from the pleasing sound of his voice to her strange reactions. A guilty pleasure of hers because of some misplaced attraction, that’s how she defined it. And she did not like it. 


	6. Of Angry Words

The food on her plate had suddenly lost all it’s charm, the glass filled with orange juice intact next to her plate. She looked up from her food to examine Ned’s expression. As icy as usual, her brother gave nothing away, but the moment their stares crossed, she caught a quite well concealed wary look. What the hell was he worried about? That she would spoil the _lovely_ breakfast they were having? 

It was already spoiled. 

“So, your father says you love horses and that you used to practice equestrianism” the woman sitting across her mentioned, sipping juice from her glass moments later.   

Two weeks. Two fucking weeks, it’s all it lasted. Of course her father had to come back, and of course he would bring that woman, Sybell, along. If he wanted someone to have a relationship with, fine, she couldn’t care less. But if he forced her presence in the house, to her, to Ned, well, that was a problem. It only meant that things were serious, and if things were serious, there was a possibility that they would have to bear a stranger’s presence in the house for a long time.

And as far as she could see, she was already comfortable enough with spending the night at their house, perambulating around and making changes right and left.  

She could tolerate strangers, of course, but not when they were given the authority to act as if she meant something to her. And if things got serious, of course her father would give her that authority over her. She only spent three days at the house and she was already redecorating it. _Fuck_. The woman sitting there was nothing to her, and the fact that she was sitting in the spot that used to be her mother’s when they were children, well, that itself had already been itchy enough. Her father did not care, but she did. 

The woman looked at her with expecting eyes, stiff as if she depended on Lyanna’s answer to make her next move. For fuck’s sake, was it too much to ask to just be left alone? 

“Yes” she limited herself to deadpan in the most neutral voice she could produce. Even looking down at her plate, she could feel Ned’s reprimand stare upon her. Wasn’t enough that she answered her? 

A small space filled with an uncomfortable silence went by, but of course, _of course_ she had to try and fill it with the sound of her own voice and her dull and empty questions. Why couldn’t she just eat in peace or talk to her father, instead of trying to socialize with her? 

Ah, she was trying to gain ground. She wanted to tell her that, if she so wanted to please their father, she didn’t need to try so hard with his children. That would make Sybell’s life easier, Lyanna’s life easier. It was a win-win. 

“And why did you quit?” the woman smiled politely, and Lyanna couldn’t help but to notice the moment in which her hand slipped right upon the table and grabbed her father’s in what seemed to be some sort of affectionate gesture.  

She wanted to know why did she quit? She would tell her. “Because my horse died” she replied dryly. 

Another uncomfortable silence. For the first time in that morning, she wanted to smile. But she didn’t. 

“Oh…” That’s right. Oh. “But I’m sure your father could get you another one” the woman observed, her uneasiness trespassing her every pore. Lyanna was, indeed, satisfied. 

Her next answer, she had it in the tip of her tongue, burning her. “He could, that’s how he always solves everything. Buying us new stuff not to deal with us” Lyanna gave her a dry, cynical smile then, and the woman’s jaw almost dropped to the floor. 

She wanted to socialize with her? Fine. She would have to endure it, then. 

“Enough” her father suddenly roared, he, who had been until then, quiet. She tried to conceal the way she jerked a little at the sound of his voice, recovering quickly. “Behave, Lyanna, or else, leave” his eyes were wary on her, she was stiff in her place. 

Normally, she wouldn’t care. But to tell her to leave in front of that woman, it felt humiliating. Her hold on her fork tightened. “I should leave because I’m making a stranger uncomfortable in my own house?” her tongue went ahead of her mind, like it always did. 

In front of her, Ned was throwing a silent beg in her direction, his distress quite evident. Always obedient Ned.

“She is _my_ guest and you will treat her with respect, Lyanna. And I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that you still live under my roof” his hands were fists upon the table, she noticed. 

Respect? He wanted her to treat her nicely, he wanted her to be lovely? 

“Did I not treat her with respect? What did I exactly say that is so irrespecutful? The truth? And in any case, I was perfectly fine in my own silence before she spoke to me. If you want to have a ‘girlfriend’ , fine, but don’t try to force her on us. What’s next? She will act like she’s our mother in a few months and we will all be a happy little family?!” wave after wave of raging words came out of her mouth, and what started with a normal volume in her voice, ended up loud and striking and daring. Ned’s horrified expression and her father’s ireful eyes told her that she crossed some sort of line she shouldn’t have crossed. But that was nothing new. 

The silence that filled the kitchen felt heavy, and she felt her shoulders tensioning, as if someone was pulling strings on them with incredible force. “Get out of here” his strong voice was directed to her, his frown accentuating every single wrinkle in his forehead. She opened her mouth to object, but before she could even produce a sound, that striking voice of his commanded her to shut up and listen and not to dare to defy him. “Now!” 

She stiffened in her seat, jaw clenched tight, and only then she realized her heart was racing in her chest. Angry at herself, she was. How stupid of her to be intimidated. 

Without another word, Lyanna stood up from her chair and left the kitchen, ignoring the watery, burning sensation in her eyes. If she was about to cry, it would be much less humiliating to do it somewhere else, where nobody could see her stupid weakness. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Elia would not be happy. 

He would basically ruin every single plan she had for them in Dorne. She had spent the past two weeks planning activities, had already spoken to her entire family about him, she even planned a family dinner there. Gods, she would be so disappointed when he told her one day before their trip that he would not be able to go with her. 

But what could he do against his mother’s begging eyes and his father’s irrevocable decision? All of the sudden, his father had a trip to Essos, and he would have to stay in King’s Landing to prevent their house from burning down in the hands of Daeron, Shaena and little Viserys. That was his reward for being a ‘perfect son’. 

And he would also have to deal with Elia’s disappointment. _Fantastic_. 

He grabbed his car keys from his pocket, he still did not tell Elia anything. He would go to her house and talk to her, even if he had no idea how to tell her, how to start. She would not hate him. Elia was beyond that. But she would give him that look that always told him he should do things differently. Since Elia had already gone, there was no point in staying any longer in school.

And speaking of, one person he never thought would like to spend much time there after classes ended, was Lyanna Stark. 

The girl happened to be sitting in the grass, alone, near the parking lot when half of the students had already left. 

With her distinctive wild hair flowing in the wind and her ankles crossed in the grass, she was looking rather grim, with her lovely features in distress while holding a single paper sheet in her hand. 

“Hey” he said while walking to her, and she immediately lifted her gaze from the paper to him. 

Her eyes, those eyes that had  the lighter shade of grey he had ever seen in them, widened a little at the sound of his voice. “Hey” she waved her hand at him, looking up at him from the grass. 

“What’s with the face?” he probably shouldn’t ask so freely, but his curiosity always got the best of him. Yet, she did not seem uncomfortable or hesitant before his question. 

She made a little grimace then “Does it show?” she replied surprised as he lowered himself to the grass where she was sitting. Perhaps he should sit for a moment with Lyanna and think how to tell Elia that he wasn’t going with her to Dorne. Or perhaps that was his excuse to delay that moment for a little longer. “A lot” he mentioned while throwing his backpack on the ground. 

Lyanna Stark sighed as she threw her head back, her long, wavy locks falling back as well “Well… This has not been my best day so far.” she put herself in her earlier position again, piercing grey eyes staring at him “Between my father’s new girlfriend taking over and _this_ beauty here” she extended the paper sheet to him, and he noticed the big number four written in red ink in a calculus exam. "I think I should just dig a hole in the ground and let it swallow me"

A little grin escaped him when his eyes landed on the exam, and she narrowed her eyes at him in a faked annoyed grimace. “Is she so bad? And that sucks” he pointed with a finger to the exam, chuckling a little in the end, if only to lighten her mood a little.  

She slapped his mocking, pointing finger away in a playful manner, faked indignation flooding her features while doing it. “I don’t know, I barely even know her. And yes, it does” 

“Wait. You barely know her, but you can’t stand her?” he was trying to understand the girl. How could it be? Maybe it was some sort of sense of protection towards her mother’s place. Her parents were divorced, that, he knew. 

Lyanna let a big sigh out, her chin resting on her hand in a tired fashion before answering. “It is not like that. She’s just… She… Well” he focused his attention on her. She had suddenly become a babbling mess, struggling with her words to try and produce a decent explanation in the middle of her confusion. “I just don’t want him to force anyone upon me. And now he’s bringing her home, and she’s already made herself comfortable, and I have this feeling that she will be living with us in the blink of an eye and who does he think he is to force me to socialize with her when I obviously don’t want to” she spilled it all out, her little, slightly freckled nose wrinkling slightly when mouthing the last part of her complain. 

He tried to process the information, since he could not automatically put himself in her shoes. His family had always been united, so he had no experience in the field. However, he could perfectly understand how uncomfortable she could be. And what she, probably involuntarily, highlighted the most, was that she had some sort of uneasiness towards her father. 

That, he could understand. His own father had never been an easy person to deal with, at least not to him. “Sounds to me like the problem is not with the woman, but with your father” he dared to tell her his guess. He only hoped she would not get upset about him making assumptions on her life. In the brief time he had met her, she always gave him the impression of being closed with her personal issues, never speaking of what actually bothered her, or anything of the sort, always keeping some kind of distance that, in that very moment, he just shortened. 

She looked at him with wide eyes for a second, blinking a few times after. Did he screw up? “Sorry, I shouldn’t make assumptions…” Rhaegar apologized when he got no answer from her but the startled look on her lovely face. 

“No. No. You’re actually right” she licked her pink lips before pressing them tightly together. That was so far the most personal interaction they ever had. “I know it sounds childish, I mean… You’re probably bored with all of this anyway, sorry” she chuckled nervously as she scratched the back of her head. He noticed the several colorful bracelets around her slim wrist, and the many silver bands around her long fingers. In a random thought, he decided she had good hands for musical instruments like the ones he had. 

She bated her lashes a few times, and he realized he didn't say anything in response. He cleared his throat “No, not at all. You can tell me” he smiled, and noticed a faint pinkish tone in her cheeks, that, combined with the big, grey eyes framed by thick, long lashes and the delicate features of her face, made her look beautiful. Even more beautiful, he had to correct himself on that. “And hey… I can help you with calculus if you want” Since he was no longer going to Dorne, and he happened to be very good at it, why not? He had helped a few classmates before.

“You?” she raised an eyebrow in disbelief. He had to admit, the gesture itself could be considered as an insult to his intelligence, but for some unknown reason, he found it most amusing, that expression of hers. 

He gave her what he knew was a smug smile then. “I’m actually pretty good at it. _You_ , on the other hand…” he left the sentence unfinished, earning a killer glare from the girl in front of him. 

“Cool. I guess that makes you my tutor, then. The teacher told me to get one. Congratulations, you are the one” she flashed him a row of white teeth in an overly done smile.  

“Okay. I can go to your house if you want me to, tell me the time and-“

She stopped him with a hand, her bracelets hanging from her wrist and moving with every motion. “Not my house, please. I won’t be able to concentrate with that woman wandering around and my father and-“

When he saw that she was, once again, getting all nervous and tense, he shushed her. “Fine, fine, relax. We can do it at my house, if you want. I’m free on Wednesdays and Fridays after school, the other days, I have practice” 

Lyanna grinned in a devilish fashion. What did he just get himself into? 

“Great! You better be good at calculus…” 

If only she knew. 

 


	7. Studying You

“Done” she fetched him the paper sheet eagerly, her messy numbers written all over it. It was funny, the way they contrasted so strongly against _his_ own handwriting, she noticed. 

He was leaning back comfortably into his chair, his sight lost somewhere outside the huge window of his house’s library, but he shifted in it and took the sheet in his hands, examining it carefully, while she just stared at him in expectation. “Alright…” he dragged the word with his eyes upon her results, that face of his dripping concentration. 

He was a good tutor, she had to admit. He was patient and eloquent enough as to explain everything clearly, clear enough for her to understand, even when she found herself distracted by his indigo eyes and the rich sound of his voice. He could be very distractive if he wanted to. And there were so many questions she wanted to ask, which honestly, took her by surprise. When was the last time she felt such curiosity towards someone? 

Some of those questions she had formulated were deep and maybe even too personal, some of them were just shallow and random. 

First of all, and as a part of the shallow thoughts, she was surprised at the size of his house. It was at least four times bigger than hers. He probably had a large family. Or maybe it was just a pretty huge house for nothing, and that, she assumed from the fact that, when she arrived, there was not a soul in there besides him. In the end, she was grateful for that. She hated introductions. 

She could ask about it, but what would she do about the deeper, more meaningful questions she had? 

“Seems like you got it” he finally announced, breaking the spell in her head and dropping the paper sheet on the table. “We can rest now if you want” 

And there, she saw her opportunity. Another question raised in her head: Did he want to know about her too? Did she cause the same curiosity in him? So far, he already offered himself to help her when just a few weeks ago, they were perfect strangers to each other. 

“Well, I must say, you _are_ a pretty decent tutor” his lips stretched into a satisfied grin the moment she said it “And, yes, please… ”

Rhaegar’s lopsided smile twitched “Yeah, I feel like I’ve been torturing you”

“Just a little” she smiled, waiting for her chance. Before the silence, she spoke again. “Hey, how many siblings do you have?”

“Three. Daeron, you already know him. From the beach. Shaena, and Viserys” he said as he pulled his hair back. 

“And you all have weird names” she lifted an eyebrow, thinking about the names and thinking that they _had_ to look extremely good in order to pull those off “I have three brothers. But you already know them, right?”

“Ah, I know Brandon. I also know Ned, but we never really spoke much. I know he’s my cousin’s best friend, but that’s all. And the third one is Benjen, right? The little one. I saw him once.”

“Yes, Benjen. Your cousin? Who?” He couldn’t be talking about the one she thought he was talking. No, he just couldn’t. 

“Robert… Robert Baratheon. I suppose you know him” _Fuck._  

Of all people in the world, Robert Baratheon was his relative? How could that be?  “I do. He likes to creep around my house all the time. I think he spends more time there than I do.” she said, still trying to swallow the information. “I can’t believe you’re cousins”

“We are… “

“I see…” she hummed, wondering if she should ask her next question. For some reason, hesitation was there, shutting her lips tight. But in the end… “And you’ve a girlfriend, right? I can’t remember her name” _Elia Martell._ Ah, playing the fool was one of her talents. 

“Yes. Elia. She’s on a trip right now” he commented. 

“Where?” Lyanna questioned him immediately. 

“Dorne. She’s from Dorne, actually. She’s visiting her family”

So she was dornish. That was the secret hidden behind her olive skin and dark eyes. “Oh.”

Rhaegar leaned back in his seat, adopting his earlier posture once again, a few rebel locks of blonde hair falling to his face only to be soon after pushed back. “What about you? Are you seeing anyone, or do you have a-“ 

“No. I don’t…” Lyanna smiled “I don’t _have_ boyfriends” Or more like ‘I don’t like commitment because I think it is stupid’. But that sounded too violent for a first, get-to-know conversation.

He seemed slightly startled, and it took him a few seconds to compose himself. He leaned forward once again. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you weren’t… Into guys”

Apparently, she did not express herself correctly. “Wha-? No!” she chuckled, amused by the idea “I _like_ boys. I do. I just don’t have boyfriends. I don’t think that whole ‘serious relationship’ thing is for me” 

And judging by his sudden interested expression, she had just pulled the strings of his interest. Why did it seem such a strange concept for everyone else? “May I ask why?” 

Yet, it was oddly easy for her to open up to him. She was not like that. Wether she liked it or not, she could not tell. Yet.  “I guess… I’m just saving myself a headache.” 

“How so?” he was expecting a long, detailed explanation, she could tell. She had two choices, either she closed the gap the question had just opened, or she just let it all out. Lyanna was not one to be afraid of giving her opinion when it was about _anything._ But when it was about herself… That was hard. And yet… She gave up to her first impulse. “Oh, come on. Just look around you.” she sighed, thinking of all the ways in which a relationship was nothing but a failure. He probably didn’t even think like that, since he himself was committed into one. “Everyone pretends to have a perfect relationship, when they’re actually stuck in a sinking ship. I mean, I’m not saying everyone’s unhappy in their relationships, I’m just saying most people are. Why would I want to take that risk for something so volatile, when I’m actually happy alone and free…” 

He smiled, boyishly and interested. “Isn’t that how a relationship works? You know, you are happy with your partner, but you will eventually have arguments that you are supposed to overcome. If not, how would you know if your relationship is real?” 

“Touché. But still… Why change safe, content ground, for something that might just be some kind of pointless, romantic illusion?” 

He said nothing. Absolutely nothing. His eyes were upon her, and she swore she could just feel some sort of pressure because of it.  “What?” Lyanna snapped, gaining another boyish smile from him.

“Nothing. It’s… Different. I understand your point of view, perfectly well.” and the boyish smile turned into a cocky grin. What was that about? She lifted an eyebrow then, he was smart, he would understand. “I just didn’t expect that from you”

“What?” 

“You. Being so cautious” it sounded like a teasing. But it was probably just in her head. 

“I’m being smart” she lifted her chin up, lifting her eyebrows and pouting her lips. His response, was only a soft laugh that she enjoyed.


	8. Realization

‘ _I miss you so much’_ Elia purred through the phone just minutes ago, and he obviously replied with a reciprocate and satisfying enough answer to calm her wishes. Much less enthusiastic, whatsoever. It was fine, he guessed. 

Soon after, she told him she would be back in two more weeks, complaining about how her mother changed her return date and how she wanted to be with him already. And it baffled him, his lack of response once again. He only wanted to reproach himself for acting more like a fucking piece of rock than an actual human being.  

He missed her, of course. But how could he even have the time to think about her when there was so much to do? Not all of it was objectively productive, granted, but he still had his passions and occupations and they often took all of his time away. He missed her and her attentions and her kisses. He just hadn’t thought about her, not enough. Not as he should. Was that even coherent? Because it made perfect sense to him, in a twisted way that he could not completely understand. 

Spending his time surfing, playing the high-harp, studying, training with the school’s rugby team and the swimming team, hanging out with Arthur and Jon, being Lyanna’s tutor. All of it, filled his days restlessly, and his mind, and he felt like a crappy boyfriend when thinking that he hadn’t thought of Elia once. Elia, who called him everyday to know about his day and to tell him about hers, Elia, who kept telling him how much she missed him, and kept telling him shyly how she would basically like to jump him the next time she saw him. And there he was, thinking of what a crappy partner he had been lately. The last time he actually thought of her, was when Lyanna Stark asked him about his relationship, but it only took a few minutes of his time before his attention focused on Lyanna once again, and Elia went back to the back of his mind. 

Lyanna Stark, the girl who did not believe in commitment and amused him beyond belief. Why did he find her so amusing? It was not very clear.

The girl was an odd combination of things. There was something bold and mysterious about her, like she knew something that he did not and would not tell him either. And maybe he was right. The way in which she grinned and how her eyes were _so_ alive even when her facade was cold as ice told him so. She was a walking contradiction, and she didn’t even know. 

He suddenly remembered he forgot to tell Elia about her, about their tutoring sessions that had been going on for weeks already, but she probably wouldn’t mind. Unless, of course, she heard the shameless, inappropriate comments Dayne had proudly let out just a few days ago, after he saw her speaking to him near his car. _‘You know, Rhaegar… You owe me quite a bit. How about you introduce me to that fit little student of yours?’_   That was one of them, one of his lightest comments. He just laughed. And when Arthur insisted, he had simply made a mocking sound that left Arthur indignant. 

Of course, Lyanna Stark, _Brandon’s little sister,_ was beautiful. _Very_ beautiful. Those striking silver eyes, those refined and delicate features that could easily fool you into believing whatever she would tell you, her extremely long, long wavy locks that gave off the sweetest coconut scent. It was only natural that people would find her attractive. And if he thought about it, he would also be interested if he were in Dayne’s shoes. 

What if Arthur tried something? Would she respond? Perhaps. Arthur was never one to pass by indifferently for the opposite sex. But then again, she was not like any other girl, and conventional things would never work on her. 

Perhaps, she would be the one to tie Arthur up in her charms, with her silver eyes and her signature smirk. She could do whatever she wanted. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Where the hell have you been, Lyanna? I’ve tried to reach you last night… What have you been up to?” Cersei teased, half joking, half serious, she realized. 

The blonde arched her eyebrows up as an invitation for her to answer. 

“Studying” she calmly said, hoping that the word would be enough for the blonde to just give her a dull look and turn the page. Deep down, she hoped Cersei wouldn’t ask any other questions, but she knew her far too well.  

“Studying? Again?” Cersei lifted an eyebrow, and it was then that she realized that she would be interrogated. 

It was a curious thing, but she never told Cersei who was the one tutoring her. First of all, because Cersei didn’t even care enough to ask, and what was there to say anyway? Second of all… It felt odd. To tell her after all that time, and not since the beginning. She didn’t even know why she didn’t tell her before in the first place, what led her to it, but it probably had something to do with the fact that Cersei had clearly showed interest in Rhaegar Targaryen and she didn’t want to serve as some kind of fly on the wall for her. Of course, the whole matter reduced to Cersei acknowledging the guy’s ‘hotness’ or something of the sort, it wasn’t like she was in love with the guy or something, she simply liked him. _But still_. Was she a bad friend? She certainly felt like it. Was she making a big fuss over nothing?

“Where the hell are you studying anyway? Lyanna, you’ve been acting odd these weeks. Like, are you ill?” the blonde pressed the back of her hand against Lyanna’s forehead, exaggeration had always been in her. 

 _Uh, yes, I’ve been locked up with the guy you like for two hours three days a week. No biggie._ That didn’t sound good. 

There was no hiding it anymore. It’d be no use. It meant nothing, _really_ , it didn’t. Whatever Cersei’s reaction might be, she would have to suck it up. “Rhaegar Targaryen is my tutor. And we just study at his house. I really need to improve my fucking grades… What would you have me do?” 

“Wait, what?” Cersei’s jaw dropped a little, emerald eyes wide and observing. And that was the reaction she was waiting for, the one she knew was coming. 

“What?” Lyanna had to bit her tongue. 

Cersei’s eyes narrowed at her in something that resembled suspicion. But then again, Cersei Lannister was always suspicious. “Rhaegar Targaryen is your tutor? And you never told me?” she certainly looked surprised. 

“Yes. He is.” Lyanna deadpanned. “What’s the big deal?” In the back of her mind, a little voice screamed that maybe, just maybe, she _was_ acting odd. And if she had to be completely honest about it, well… 

“Nothing, nothing…” Cersei waved her hand dismissively, her features relaxing notoriously “You just always tell me everything. It’s okay” the blonde smiled at her. 

Relief was a nice thing to feel, she decided. And if she thought about it, why would Cersei care anyway? She was screwing around with Robert. It was meaningless, according to her, just meaningless sex because she was bored and Robert was bored and they both had that in common. Otherwise, there was no other way for them to share an interest. 

So there was no longer guilt for actually enjoying their meetings, and maybe making them longer than necessary. And for keeping her gaze lingering upon him when he was not looking, admiring the defined lines of his features. And for feeling so fucking intrigued. 

 _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!_ All of it only served for her to realize that she actually had something to worry about. 

For some time, Cersei had been it, and she was no longer. The sudden realization hit her like a bus, unpleasant as it was, foolish as it was. She was an idiot, she truly was. 

She liked him. She liked Rhaegar, more than she should.


	9. Is It? Or Not?

Brandon was arriving, he was staying for a week. A new that had brighten her days.

To go and pick him up from the airport sounded good, specially since she hadn’t seen her brother in what seemed like ages. Her older brother, the one that shared the same ‘wolf-blood’ her grandmother used to say they had in them. It was a name she usually gave to their reckless nature, it certainly made their follies much more poetic. 

“I’m bored” Benjen deadpanned for the eleventh time in the past thirty minutes, his expression a monument to boredom, his hands in his pockets. But not that she would complain, she could easily feel identified with her little brother’s boredom after an hour of waiting. Brandon’s flight was late, and Benjen was the only one showing his discontent. 

Her father was too busy maintaining a conversation with Sybelle, and Ned would make some comments occasionally. As for her, it was just way too early in the morning to even begin to speak. 

“He will be here soon” their father said, ruffling the boy’s hair. 

And it wasn’t long, before Brandon appeared through one of the many gates, carrying nothing but a backpack with him, and a long beard that looked like he hadn’t shaved in months. That was new. But it certainly suited him well.  

Out of excitement, her feet went ahead of her mind and she found herself running towards her brother energetically, jumping for him to catch her in a tight embrace that felt like home. “Brandon!” the sound of her voice sounded high pitched, and the sound of her brother’s bursting laughter resounded all around her. It was nice, to have him back. 

“Oh, I’ve missed you, Lya” he laughed again, putting her back on her feet only to take a better look at her. 

“I’ve missed you too! You look like a homeless person now” she chuckled, her fingers playing with the long beard her brother sported proudly. 

“Father” he hugged their father, the older man looked as happy as… She couldn’t even remember the last time she saw him like that. 

But what draw her attention, was not the greeting between father or son, neither the one between siblings, but another one. 

“Sybell! It’s been ages” Brandon said with a wide smile. 

Ages? Did he know her from before? 

“Brandon. I hope you had a pleasant flight” the woman, who Lyanna almost forgot was there, grinned sweetly at her brother, with some sort of warm familiarity. 

What was going on? 

“Did you know about this?” as they walker to the car, Lyanna murmured in her brother’s ear, pointing discreetly towards the woman clinging to her father’s arm. 

Brandon nodded. “And you never told me?” 

Of the thousands of times they spoke over the phone, social media, he had never told her about their father’s new relationship. If she had to be honest, she felt slightly betrayed. 

 “It wasn’t my secret to share” Brandon finally said, and it was fine, really. It was a valid point. But _still_. They never had any secrets, they were Lyanna and Brandon, the ones who were always getting into trouble, the ones that shared stories no one ever heard. 

He knew about her. He knew about the boarding school mess before everyone, she told him about it before she started it all in order to get herself kicked out of that hell. 

But then again, Lyanna could not blame her older brother. She knew she could be difficult, specially after what happened with her mother, and the place she left empty for anyone to take, even when _that_ , was simply impossible. 

In the end, she decided to just shut up for the first time in her life, and accept things as they were. If Sybelle was there, fine. She had nothing against her, not really. And if the situation was a different one, she thought she could’ve actually gotten along with the woman.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She wasn’t spying. Was she? 

No. She was just watching him swim. Behind a locker. In absolute silence. 

Maybe she _was_ spying. 

He was fast. He was good too. He had to be, if he usually surfed, he had to be a good swimmer, otherwise he would be dead.  

It was pleasant, to just look at him. There was something so magnetic about him, something so different in the way he carried himself. And she felt like a fucking cliché, like one of the girls that belonged to that half of the school that was in love with this extremely attractive human being. 

The only thing that consoled her, was to know that it wasn’t a purely physical attraction, the one she felt towards him. There was something else. A physical attraction was nothing more than to admit that the other one in question was fit, shaggable, hot, whatever one liked to call it. But this _thing_ , this was different. She didn’t just admire his height and build, or the way in which his sharp features seemed to fit perfectly, no. It was the way in which he looked at her, the way in which he smiled -Gods, his smile-, how smart he was, how passionate he was about things he loved, and… And she was screwed. 

She was absolutely screwed. 

Rhaegar had stopped swimming by the time she realized she was completely, utterly ruined, and she decided it was time to leave. Lyanna had panicked. She had panicked at every thought that crossed her mind just seconds before, she had panicked at the fact that she was hiding behind a fucking locker to watch him, she had panicked at the odd, heavy feeling gathering down her stomach. 

The best thing she could do, no, what she _should_ do, was leave. And she did. 

Or at least she tried.

“Hey!” she heard him say, and she froze in her place for a second, only to turn around after. He was looking at her, his face soaked, and his arms resting crossed upon each other on the pool’s border. 

“Hey” she managed to say, somehow, without hesitation. 

There was no going back. Lyanna approached him, her impenetrable walls of faked confidence protected her. She wanted to laugh, she was a joke. A dumb joke. 

“Are you stalking me now?” he grinned, and she snorted. She could not deny that, even if it was meant as a jest, she felt like she could simply dig a hole in the ground and throw herself in it. But it didn’t show, she was sure. 

“You wish.” she teased back. She thought of saying something else, some kind of erratic explanation, but she knew better, and to just leave the matter like that and pretend, would lessen it’s importance. Ah, at least she was an expert at pretending. 

From his spot in the pool, Rhaegar smiled, one of his hands cupping a side of his face. “Shouldn’t you be at home already?” 

“I suppose. But I don’t feel like it” That was true. At least. 

“Hmmm… What a strange creature you are, Stark. You hate school, yet you stay here when you can leave” 

“Shut up.” she rolled her eyes at him. It was her best defense. 

“Well, somebody’s moody today” he smirked, and she didn’t understand why. Was he amused by her? Did she amuse him? Indeed, she was a joke. “Help me out” he extended his hand, his eyes begging her to do so. 

“You can’t even get out of the pool… What a lousy swimmer you-“ when he grabbed the hand she offered, instead of pulling himself out, he pulled her _into_ the pool. 

In the blink of an eye, her entire body was submerged under water, the liquid felt cold against her skin, and water filled her nostrils. She would kill him. No matter how much she liked him, she would kill him.

“Rhaegar!” was the sound of her own voice, a high pitched tone, the one she heard when her head got out of the water and she could finally breath in between coughs. He laughed near her, so fucking near her, and only when she opened her eyes, she could see how close he really was.

His face was just as soaked as hers, of course, but up close, he was… He was even more handsome. Not that his attractiveness appeased her anger, of course. She was just admiring the golden tone of his skin and the perfect smile displayed in front of her. 

“You idiot!” the insult left her lips almost instantly after he smiled at her teasingly, her hands creating waves in the water that ended up splashing him violently. 

He laughed even louder then, using his hands to shield his eyes from her childish and unceasing water attacks. She found herself laughing too, and that baffled her, but just that time, she let herself be carried away, her anger fading with every splash. 

And from up close, his eyes were even more dazzling, and they were fixed on _her_ , something she could not place dancing in them tentatively. But he didn’t say a word. He just remained there, quiet, his eyes tracing her face. Or at least she thought so. And she could feel her cheeks hotter by the second. 

It was funny, because until that day, she didn’t know she could actually blush. 

“What?” she asked in discomfort when that stupid smirk wouldn’t fade away from his face and his eyes were too insistent on her.  

“Nothing” 

“You’re _such_ an idiot” she complained once again, hoping that her cheeks were not so telling as she suspected they were. 

He said nothing to defend himself. He just looked like he was having the time of his life because of her ‘misery’. His eyes were still upon her, and his stare suddenly felt too heavy for her to maintain. But she still did, leaving her insecurity behind, and his smirk finally faded. 

The only thing that could be heard in that moment, was the soft sound of their breathings, in and out, in and out, and it felt as if she was paralyzed, lost in his eyes and in the velvety silence that misted around them. 

Another sound joined, and it was the pounding in her chest. 

He cleared his throat only seconds later, breaking the visual contact abruptly, his brows furrowing slightly for what seemed like a fleeting moment. “We should get out of here” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so not happy with this one. But it was a necessary filler.


	10. Young, Confusing Hearts

In his mind, the punching bag dangling in front of him, had his face plastered on it. And for fuck’s sake, he only wanted to see it destroyed. That was why he ended up punching it, over and over and over until his breath came out ragged and he felt the hot drops of sweat rolling down his face. 

He felt… _Frustrated_. Was there any other word?

He wanted to fool himself at first, but as it turned out, he was too fucking smart to believe a single word of the bullshit he made up in his mind in order to excuse himself from the imminent truth. That was the right word for it, ‘bullshit’. 

Fuck, how much he missed Elia. He needed her. He needed her for his fucking mind to just shut up, because it was getting too noisy, and he was beginning to have odd thoughts about things, thoughts he just shouldn’t even have. 

The truth was, he needed Elia to be back, because otherwise, he would keep having those odd thoughts about Lyanna and her mesmerizing eyes and her husky voice, and it felt strange, _wrong_ , exciting, all at once. But more than anything, it felt _wrong,_ his better nature shining through it all in the end. 

Of course, it wasn’t the first time he acknowledged another girl’s beauty while being with Elia. For men, it was only natural, to just _look_ sometimes, even if he loved and respected Elia, it was a man’s nature. It didn’t mean he would cheat on her, it didn’t really mean anything, it just meant men were programmed to be ‘observers’, without even realizing it. But that was the main problem. He wasn’t _just_ looking, he wasn’t _just_ acknowledging how fucking beautiful she was, he was actually _thinking._ And thinking, thinking never led to something good, at least not in those cases, when the center of it all was a girl. 

And he found himself thinking about it more than he should. The day in which he pulled her into the pool, that was the day in which he actually had to stop for a while and analyze his actions, or his thoughts, or maybe both. That day, in which he had her so close he could actually see the small freckles dusting her little nose, in which her red, full lips seemed so appealing, as if he could just lean forward and claim them with his own. That day, he realized how wrong it was, and how he had somehow lost himself into the depth of her silver eyes. 

He punched the bag once more, a wave of satisfaction spreading through his body when, at least for a second, that damned bag had his own face once again. He deserved something of the sort, maybe that would make his brain work again. 

“Now that’s the spirit” the familiar sound of his cousin’s voice ran through the stance, strong and loud. Robert Baratheon was standing in the doorframe of the gym, his heavily built body leaning against it lazily. 

“Robert” his cousin was looking at him with a satisfied smile when he looked back at him, like a deer caught in the headlights. It served for him to snap out of every frustrating thought he had before, and it surely showed.   

“I’m organizing a weekend in Storm’s End. Are you in?” the invitation flew across the room.

“Sure… Count me in. When?”

Robert grinned. The kind of grin that told him his cousin was planning a chaotic get away, one of those that ended in absolute disaster.  

“In ten days. It’s going to be insane.” _Really?_ Big surprise. “All the alcohol and drugs you can get” He could already see how that would end. 

He was guilty of having taken a few pills before, having some spliff too, a few times, in a few parties. And it felt amazing, sure. But Robert took it to a whole new level when it came to that, and as long as he did not get carried away by his cousin’s spirit, he could just chill. “If you want anything special, tell me. I can get it for you” Robert added then. 

Rhaegar denied with his head. “Just the regular stuff will do. I’ll go” 

Robert’s bursting laughter followed, that cheerful sound that was so infectious. “Fantastic, then! Bring your dornish girl if you want… But if I were you…” Robert laughed once again, his sentence incomplete, but still very telling. 

If there was one thing he was sure of, much to Robert’s possible disappointment, was that he would take Elia with him, even if he had to go all the way to Dorne to take her. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

She didn’t know how, but she ended up sitting on the floor, surrounded by so many pictures, so many eyes looking happily at her, with a bright smile that told her nothing could ever go wrong. Her favorite, was the one in which she was putting little horns in Brandon’s head, while their mother looked like she was laughing at them. It was a fun picture. Also, the one picture that didn’t carry blurry memories, but a only a clear one. The day in which she and Brandon decided to set Ned up for a trap, their father caught them in the doing, and even if they were told to go to bed without a dessert, their mother sneaked into their room and gave each one a cone of ice cream. It brought a small smile to her lips, to think of it.

And every picture held some other short memory with it, they all kept coming. 

“What are you doing?” Brandon was looking at her from the door frame, his eyes scanning the many pictures displayed on the floor when she raised her sight. 

“Just looking at pictures” she replied as Brandon crouched to grab one of them. The same she was looking at, the one with the mischievous smiles and her mother's loving look. 

“I haven’t seen this one in a while” his smile carried a melancholic spark in it, his eyes getting lost into it for a moment.  

Was he thinking the same thing? Was he also remembering? What did he remember? It all happened so many years ago, back to when she was still afraid of the dark. Back to when her mother was no mystery to her and her father smiled a little more. 

What happened?

“Why does nobody ever talk about her?” she let out, and Brandon’s eyes widened a little upon her, surprise written all over his face. It was only expected, the subject was never brought before.  

A short moment of silence fell upon them, until Brandon finally broke the silence, shrugging in the process. “I suppose dad doesn’t like to talk about it.”

She snorted in something that resembled indignation. Of course he didn’t like to talk about it, she would know. And someday she would find out what he did to make her leave. But in that moment, she was talking about Brandon, about Ned, but not Benjen, because Benjen couldn’t even remember her properly. 

“You. Why don’t _you_ ever speak of her?” it sounded accusing, she knew. But she wanted to know, she wanted someone to share the memories with without feeling like a stranger. She shared that with Ned, she couldn't with Benjen, but why wouldn't Brandon open up? Just like Ned. Why?

Brandon put the picture back on the floor, his sight no longer resting on it, but on her. “What is there to say?” was all he said before getting up once again, and his face acquired a cooler tone. 

What was there to say? There was so much to say. So much would be different, if only she didn’t leave. “A lot” she murmured. A low sound that Brandon did hear, but preferred to simply ignore.


	11. That Maddening Feeling

Hadn’t she known better, she would say he was avoiding her like a plague. But that didn’t make sense, because she should be the one avoiding him, he had no reason to. Right? 

She had barely seen him in the last week, and whenever they met, it was brief and impersonal and nothing like him, and nothing like her either. It was as if some invisible wall was standing between them, and she only wanted to tear it apart. So when she asked him to meet her behind the auditorium after class, she was actually expecting some kind of excuse, or a direct ‘no’ as an answer. At that point, she didn’t even know if she should be going to his house again, after all, everything seemed so strange between them for the last few days.  

But when he appeared there, with his bag and the keys of his car in hand, and that damned manly perfume he wore, he didn’t disappoint. He had just caught her with a cigarette in hand, leaning against a wall, trying to refuge herself from the thin drops of rain that were already falling as an announce for the storm that was yet to come.  

“Hey” Lyanna said as she exhaled the smoke from her cigarette, holding the thin stick between her fingers. He didn’t smoke, that she figured out from day one. She wondered if he cared, that she smoked, that was.  

He dropped the bag to the ground carelessly, and sat on one of the steps of the stairs near him. Tiny drops of rain stained his shoes, but he didn’t seem to care. “Hey. You wanted to see me?” he asked, his gaze fixed on her for a brief moment, before he lowered it to the ground just like he had been doing for days. 

“Yes.” Lyanna said softly, still looking at him. But he didn’t look back. “Is everything alright?” 

He lifted his gaze again, this time, he directed it at her. She liked the feeling, the exciting feeling those purple orbs gave her. But that time, it felt different. There was something wary about him. His handsome face held a confused expression, slightly taken aback even, blinking a few times before speaking. “Uh… Yeah. Why?”

“Just asking.” the dubiousness of his answer proved to only serve to increase her curiosity. But she couldn’t force the answer out of him, even if she wanted to. Instead, she would ask him about their classes. How could she even be sure they were still doing that if they barely spoke in the last days? “So… Tonight?” she left the question hanging in the air.

Rhaegar stood up from his sitting position. It made her take a step closer, mindlessly, stupidly, perhaps. However, he didn’t seem to care. “I wanted to talk to you about that. My parents just returned from their trip, and they’re having a family meeting there… Too many people… You know.” Lyanna nodded, and she wondered if that strange magnetism she felt towards him, if that need to close the gap between them, if it happened to him too. In the end, he never closed the gap, he never filled it. He simply spoke again, not at all affected by the closeness. “If you want, I can go to your house”

She broke the visual contact, and soon after, threw the cigarette to the wet ground, looking down as the last remains of fire being extinguished from it. “Fine. I’ll see you there then”

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That night in Lyanna’s house, he couldn’t seem to focus. Much to his annoyance, his words kept sounding hollow, the last thing in his mind were the numbers. But yet, he kept speaking, and it was just as if Lyanna herself was lost in another thing of her own, with her head nodding at his every word, but her eyes lost somewhere beyond that room.

All he knew, was that her parted lips looked full and red and inviting, so near him, and he could just… 

 _Fuck_. 

When did he start wanting that girl next to him, the one with the long, wild hair and the striking, silver eyes? 

He could not recall. When did he cross the line? Fuck’s sake, he had never felt that way towards anyone after being in a relationship, so tempted to fuck things up. How, when, why. He could not think. Instead, he kept speaking, as if nothing crossed his mind besides the numbers, as if he didn’t want to just shut the fuck up and push his lips against hers and kiss her into oblivion. But he never did. Instead… “Is it positive?” he asked, and she nodded, her big, grey eyes staring up at him, lingering for a while, only to blink a few times and lower her gaze. He caught himself inhaling the sweet smell of her perfume. That sweet scent.

“That’s it, then” his voice sounded low, as if he was murmuring, and she gave him that crooked smile of hers that could only mean trouble.  

“I did it right” she bit her lower lip, his gaze fell upon her red mouth once again. She didn’t even know, what that small gesture caused.

And as if in trance, he remained quiet, and so did she, the only sound in the place was the soft murmur of her breathing, or at least, that was the only sound he could hear. “You did” the distance between them, absentmindedly shortened, and he could feel the heat going up his throat. Her eyes seemed dazzled and lost and went from his eyes to his mouth, and from his mouth to his eyes again. Those two beautiful gems, and her full lips. He didn’t even want to think of what he would do to her, but at the same time, he could not stop the wave of thoughts that attacked him mercilessly. It was _wrong._ So _fucking_ wrong. But still, their distance kept shortening, slowly, the sweet scent of her perfume became stronger and stronger and he could already feel her warm breath brushing his face and making him feel more anxious than he had ever been before in his life. 

But she jerked back the moment in which her brother’s voice called her name from the distance, her eyes widened, pupils dilated, and only then he figured out he had jerked back just like her at the sound of the intruder.  

“Lyanna” the voice called once again in the distance, and she stood up form her chair, striding towards the door to open it with a shaking hand. She gave him one last, long look over her shoulder before opening the door, only to find her brother, Ned, standing outside. “Dinner. Dad says you two should come down to eat with us” Eddard, her brother, said, throwing him a quick smile before looking at his sister once again. 

He didn’t know if he should curse the intrusion, or if he should just be grateful, but it had stopped them from doing whatever they were about to do.

“We’ll go down now” Lyanna said, some sort of urgency staining her voice. She wanted her brother to leave, that much was clear. At least to him. Wether Eddard had noticed it or not, he could not say. He simply retired in silence.  

She didn’t need to say a word, since Rhaegar had already stood up from his chair and was ready to go down with her. The earlier trance was already shattered to pieces, and reality punched him in the face with the strength of a war hammer. It was late, and if he remained in that library with her, he didn’t know what could happen. 

In that moment, he felt sober once again, in that moment, he could see what he was about to do just minutes ago. What was wrong with him? 

He followed her downstairs silently, and they sat on the table with her father, Eddard, and Benjen, and Rhaegar could not be more grateful for mister Stark’s chatty mood, asking about his family, telling him about Brandon and college, and many other matters in which he could not truly focus on, but could at least maintain a decent conversation. That was enough to take his mind somewhere else. For a while. 

Because, for fuck’s sake, all he could truly think of, was Lyanna. She, the one that was sitting right next to him, eating in silence, throwing glances towards him when she thought he did not see her, the one that had one of her legs pushed against his. If she only knew. 

He needed to get out of there, before his senses melted down and left him useless.  

Luckily, dinner went by quickly, with mister Stark’s topics, Ned’s short comments, Benjen’s jokes, and -to his most utter surprise- Lyanna’s hand occasionally touching his leg under the table. If he had any doubts before about her acknowledging what she did to him, now they faded completely. She was teasing him, and he could not move, he was stiff in his chair, because if he moved, he feared he could just grab her by the waist and kiss her right there, in front of everyone. 

Lyanna maintained her hand upon his thigh, making slow circular movements that made him clench his fists. What was she playing at? Had she gone crazy? He looked at her in disbelief, but she didn’t even look back at him. Her face was unreadable, there was not a smile, not a twitch, nothing, really. She was just sitting there, listening to whatever Eddard was saying in that moment, never stopping her circular motions. 

It was hell. It was fucking hell, and she, she was his own, personal little devil, inflicting torture on him. 

As soon as politeness let him, he said good-bye to Lyanna’s family. He could not stay there for another moment and keep playing that game with her.   

“You should come more often” Lyanna’s father smiled. Being liked by parents or older people was one of his talents. He wondered if the man would say the same if he knew what his daughter was doing. But in the end, he accepted mister Stark’s invitation, promising another visit soon, as Lyanna stood quiet by his side. Too quiet. 

He followed her to the door, the sound of her brothers’ footsteps on the stairs in the background gave him certain tranquility, Benjen’s laugh, too. With people so close, he would not do whatever idiotic thing he wanted to do. 

“So… Good bye, then” she bit her lower lip as if trying to stop her lips from stretching in that smirk of hers, her hands hidden behind her back. Fuck’s sake. She was playing with him, as if he was a boy. They would need to speak about everything that happened, they would… But not in that moment. 

He cleared his throat, averting his eyes from her smirking mouth. “See you tomorrow, Lyanna” 

One. Two. Three. Four. 

Four seconds passed, and it was as if she wanted to say something more. He certainly did, he just didn’t know what. But in the end, he opted for the one choice he had, for the _right_ choice to make. He smiled one last time before leaving the house, and walking to his car, as the door of Lyanna’s house closed behind him, making a dry noise that brought him back to reality. 

His shoulders felt tensioned, his head pounding, anxiety rooting in the pit of his stomach. Indeed, it was a fucking hell.

He went to his car, and the moment he sat in the driver’s seat, he sent his head back, allowing his lungs to take a big puff of air that quickly pushed past his lips in the form of a sigh. What was he doing? How did it happen? He could not even recognize himself, that thirst he felt, those impulses he had that he had successfully contained. By miracle. 

He remained quiet for a few more minutes, just sitting there, his gaze lost in the shining panel in front of him, he hadn’t even started the car yet. He seemed unable to move. That had to stop. It had to stop. He had a girlfriend, Elia. Elia, who would never hurt him, who was the most loyal companion, who _loved him_ beyond words. Sweet Elia. She would be devastated if he turned out to be the arsehole he was already thinking he was. 

His hands went to his face, a heavy sigh out. He could not do it. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. 

The sound of one of the car’s doors opening made him turn his head to the passenger’s seat so fast that he swore he heard his neck cracking. 

Like a devil that had heard his every thought and had decided to tempt him and to make him fail in his efforts, Lyanna Stark was there, standing in front of him, in the middle of the dark. And in the blink of an eye, she had climbed up the car, and closed the door behind her. She was no longer wearing the clothes she had before, but only one short nightgown that left her thighs almost uncovered and had the top of her small breasts peeking up, and for fuck’s sake what was she doing there? Did she want to destroy what was left of his sanity?

He held his breath, his jaw clenched tightly, so tightly he could’ve ruined his perfect teeth. At least, until he finally let his tongue loose. She was staring at him with hungry silver eyes, and he congratulated himself at first when he realized he was still able to pronounce words. “Lyanna, what are you-?” 

And then, time stopped. She leaned forward in the blink of an eye, and pressed her full lips to his, her hands at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer, and giving him no choice but to obey. 

The soft, yet needy caress of her lips was too much to resist, too warm, too sweet, too _fucking_ good. He found himself responding to her demanding kisses with fierceness, his hands went to her waist, firm and just as demanding as her. His tongue exploring her lips, and his mind… His mind was blank, but burning and melting at the same time. 

She bit his lower lip before sliding her tongue across it, and _that_ had been the last straw for him. As she kept biting and licking and pulling him closer, he placed his hands firmly on her hips, and helped her to move with strength, lifting her from her seat to make her land on his lap. Before he knew it, she was sitting astride him, with his help, no less. 

Her body was already impossibly close, his hands resting on her hips, and her thighs at his sides. It was crazy.  

She broke the kiss in order to take some air, out of necessity, more than anything else. Her breath came out ragged, her hands cupping his face with urgency. She looked like she might just say something, but he couldn’t stop himself since the up and down of her chest maddening, and soon after, he was devouring her swollen lips once again, his hands going up and down her bare thighs, under her tiny, black nightgown. The small sounds she made were nothing but encouraging, and the heat her body desprended was making him feel insane. 

“Lyanna” he gasped in the crook of her neck before kissing it hungrily, as he felt her rocking her hips slowly against him. Gods, she was pushing him beyond the limits, she was turning him on like no one ever had.

Until she stopped. 

“I have to go back” she gasped against his lips before kissing his mouth once again, her fingers loosening their hold in his hair, but her tongue was just as fierce as before. “My father will notice” she breathed heavily.

He wanted to stop her, he wanted to grab her by the waist and make her stay there, consequences be damned. But she was fast, and she had just slipped out of his grip, getting out of the car like a frightened cat, leaving him there, in the dark, confused, with that damned heat nested in the pit of his stomach, his head turning and turning and turning, and his hands feeling empty. The one thing that brought him back to reality, was the sound of the car’s door closing, but her silhouette getting lost in the distance was hypnotizing. 

He could still feel the heat of her skin, her scent, her _taste._

He was screwed. He was so fucking screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that just happened...


	12. Meeting

Not once, and not even by accident, had his remarkable amethyst eyes met hers that day. But then again, it probably had something to do with the fact that he had a dornish looking girl holding his hand incessantly. Why would he look at the girl he made out with just two days ago when his girlfriend seemed to have more arms than an octopus surrounding him. 

Still, it bothered her. And that was why she was a stupid, stupid girl. What was she expecting anyway? The rational part of her mind expected nothing, nothing at all from him. Why should she expect something? But the irrational part, the _stupid_ one… Had her feeling like she could burst out in flames at any minute. 

But instead of combusting herself due to her ridiculous jealousy, she simply gazed away from the heart-melting scene, to focus on whatever Ashara Dayne and Cersei were discussing. 

“Lya is going with her mute brother. I’m going with Jaime. You?” Cersei asked to Ashara Dayne while pushing a golden lock of hair behind her ear. 

“I’m going with my brother, Elia and Rhaegar” she simply stated, and Lyanna held back the need to sigh at the mention of those names. 

Apparently, there was no escaping them. So _he_ was going. And _he_ was going with her. He was smart. And it was certainly good for her too, that way she would simply take those stupid thoughts out of her head. 

Her gaze went to the couple once again, as if searching for something. And she found it.

He was looking back at her, his amethyst stare felt like a sharp razor blade cutting through thin layers of her skin, and for a moment she swore she could feel the taste of his lips all over again, and smell his perfume around her. _Damn him._

He turned his gaze away just a second after, and for some reason, it spilled red anger all over her. She had to remind herself then, he had a girlfriend. But it didn’t matter, because her anger was mostly directed towards herself. 

If she wanted to fool around, fine. But why did she have to care? 

Soon enough, Ashara left her and Cersei alone. A single thought crossed her mind. Should she tell Cersei what was happening? She could help, for sure. But what would she tell her? That she was feeling ridiculously odd because she made out with _him._ And the weirdest thing was the fact that, she knew, Cersei liked him. Maybe she was not _in love_ with the freaking guy, but she still liked him, and it made her feel like crappy friend, somehow. 

“Do you want to come home this afternoon?” Cersei’s voice reached her ears, interrupting the confusing thoughts that had hit her. 

Lyanna blinked a few times before responding. “Sure” 

Cersei nodded. “Alright…” the blonde gave her a mid smile, a too dull mid smile for everything to be ‘fine’ or at least ‘normal’. Cersei only had two phases: The extremely bright one. Or the extremely dark one. This one, however, was in between. And there was no ‘in between’ with Cersei Lannister. “It’s so boring now that nobody’s home” and then, the tip of the iceberg could be seen. 

“Where’s Jaime?” Lyanna asked, not even bothering to ask about Tywin Lannister. It was a normal scenario, the Lannister twins alone in their huge home, while their father traveled. And if not, Tywin Lannister would simply lock himself away in his office. 

“They’re gone.” Cersei sighed. _They_ she had said. “They went to Casterly Rock. You know father usually takes us there every year… ”

And realization hit her like a train. Joanna Lannister’s death anniversary. Her lips parted involuntarily. What was Cersei doing there then? The question did not take long to push past her lips.  

“I don’t want to go. Father got mad, _really_ mad. But every year, every fucking year, it’s the same thing. We go, father’s mood is sourer than usual, he treats everyone like shit… Except for Jaime, of course. It’s pointless.” Cersei shrugged. But for Lyanna, it felt familiar, in some way. Her father did not exactly treat her like ‘shit’, but he certainly had a cold stare only for her. Brandon had once told her she looked like their mother. Maybe that was why. “So I’ve decided not to go this year. He called me a ‘disgrace’ for the family. But is nothing new anyway” Cersei’s sour smile was very telling. 

The truth was, Cersei’s situation was not far from hers. However, there was a difference. Cersei knew her mother was dead. Lyanna didn’t even know where her mother was, or if she was still alive. It was fucked up. They were both fucked up. “Fuck it” Cersei’s green eyes went to Lyanna. “Just… Fuck it” and at that point, Lyanna was also speaking for herself. 

Cersei smiled. “Yes”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“We need to talk” his voice sounded low in the middle of an empty class, only meant for her. Her silver eyes lingered upon him with something he could not quite place. What was she thinking? Because she hadn’t said a single word since the moment in which he grabbed her softly by the arm and lead her to that empty classroom several minutes ago. 

“We do?” she leaned against a wall, a beam of light cutting through the silver of her eyes. In return, he gave her a sharp look. 

“The other night… It was a mistake” she remained silent, while he tried to convince himself saying it out loud. 

To his most utter surprise, she nodded lightly. “It was” and the reply, he was not sure it was something he wanted to hear, but he did know it was the right thing to say. 

“We should leave it behind and forget it happened” he heard himself speaking, yet he could not place whatever was misting within him with insistence. Lyanna smiled. 

“It’s forgotten, then”

Was he angry? Yes. Why? He could not tell, not exactly, but something about her was making him feel hot headed. 

He took a step forward, and then another, and then he was already too fucking near and her silver eyes were piercing through him. Yet, she did not move an inch. 

“What?” she raised an eyebrow, defiance in her very air. 

“Is this a joke to you?” he found himself asking, and he wondered why the fuck should he care wether she took it as a joke or not. He was loosing his fucking mind. 

In response, her smile stretched even more. 

He had always been hot headed, he knew. The following reaction still surprised him though. 

He placed his hand on the wall, next to her face, and he shortened the distance between them. It was strange, because he was trying with all his strength to stay away from her, fuck, he was so angry at her. But still, he couldn’t help it but to get closer and closer. 

“Chill, Rhaegar. I won’t say a thing to your _girlfriend_ ” she whispered, not at all intimidated by the closeness. “You won’t lose her”

He felt his temples pounding in his head, his hand fisting against the wall. “Good. I don’t want to lose her. I love her” 

Lyanna lifted her chin, some sort of fire dancing lively in the silver of her eyes. The crooked smile on her face was gone. 

“You do, don’t you?” Rhaegar felt one of her small hands landing on his chest, something in her touch asking him for _something_ more, but at the same time, rejecting him. 

He held her fiery stare for just a few more moments, but he could not say when did it all go to hell. 

In the blink of an eye, his arm surrounded her waist and pulled her body close, their lips meeting in a hungry kiss that blew his mind. 

And she was just as he remembered her, sweet and spicy and bold, and her fingers pulled his hair in an effort to deepen the kiss, as he pushed her against the wall and forgot about everything else once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes. That happened. Sorry if you find any mistake, I had no time to read the chapter again.


	13. In The Middle

“What do we do now?” she asked after she caught her breath again, her hands ran through his blond hair, slowly, the closeness between them making her feel dizzy. 

He always had an answer, for pretty much everything. What would he say now? Because the only thing he said before was that he loved his _Elia._ Right before they kissed. Right before they melted into that damned kiss that left her wanting more. 

And even then, why did she have to ask that? She regretted it the moment the question left her lips. She had nothing to expect, there was nothing he could give her. Not that anyone could ever give her anything, of course. 

His thumb slid across her lower lip, and his scent was intoxicating, his eyes burning her skin with intensity. But no words. His silence, she was grateful for it. But at the same time, it made her stomach turn and twist in discomfort. 

He leaned his forehead against hers, eyes closed, jaw clenched. Why did that silence bring her such clarity, but at the same time, it clouded her mind like a storm?

Lyanna turned her face to a side, against his wishes, she could tell, and only seconds later, escaped from his hold, and even when his hands reached for her again, she declined the contact, retiring the arm he attempted to grab softly. 

He leaned against the wall then, his stare piercing through her like knives. What did he want from her? She felt silly while wondering such a thing.  

In the end, all she could give him was a mid-smile that tasted sour on her lips, and one last look before she left him there. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Elia crossed her arms upon her chest after she looked at her watch once again. Rhaegar had never been one to be impuntual, but she guessed that even _he_ could fail sometimes, and under that argument, she tried to push her annoyance to the back of her mind once again. He was only human after all. And humans lost their reservations for fancy places to eat all the time. Nothing that his last name as a last resource wouldn’t fix, she supposed. 

So she waited, sitting down and looking at her reflection in the window, the vivid yellow tone of her dress contrasting beautifully against her copper skin and dark locks. It was a nice combination, she decided. 

Minutes later, she recognized Rhaegar’s car in the street. _Forty minutes late_. She thought, wondering what happened that made him disappear for almost an hour. 

She went to the door, straightening the folds in her dress on her way. 

“You’re late” was the first thing she said when she opened the door, expecting perhaps an apology, not only for being late, but also for not even answering the phone. Oh, but annoyance _was_ growing within her. 

“I know. I’m sorry” he stood still there, but there was some kind of hesitance in him that night. However, she waited for a few seconds, expecting some kind of explanation that he could give to her in order to keep her good mood. 

But he didn’t gave her one. Was he really going to make her ask? Because she certainly deserved one. But then again, he had been acting odd since she left. Their talks on the phone were telling, but she didn’t give it much thought. It was only when she came back that she noticed how absent he seemed to be sometimes. 

In the end, and in the sight of his silence, an inquisitive brow rose in her forehead. “So?” 

“I lost my phone and I lost the track of time trying to find it” Rhaegar said in an almost lugubrious tone that pulled the strings of curiosity deep within her. He was in a bad mood, that much was clear. Absent, at least, he was not. His expression softened considerably then. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry” 

She felt her lips parting at the tone he used again. She had never before heard a more sincere apology than that one, for being late at least. Was her face so telling that he decided it was necessary to apologize in such a manner? She instantly relaxed her factions then. 

Maybe she was being overdramatic, and it was all in her head. Maybe she should just relax. “It’s okay. Just… Let’s stay here then, we probably lost our reservation anyway” she sighed with the most humorous expression she could produce at the moment, to which he responded with a small smile. 

Maybe it would be good if they just stayed there, because she had suddenly lost the appetite and to stay there seemed like a much better idea. Maybe it would be good for then to just forget about the outer world for a moment and just _be_ together, for real. 

“I can make a call if you-“ 

“No.” Elia said firmly “Let’s just stay here.” she stepped aside to let him in. 

As soon as he entered, he took his coat off and threw it in the couch, only to throw himself there after, letting a big sigh out. 

“Is everything okay?” Elia asked while approaching him, his eyes followed her until she sat down next to him. “Yes, yes… I’m just tired” he complained, grabbing her hand softly.

He had to be. She could imagine. She had never seen someone with so many occupations like him. He was a bright student, a great athlete, an exemplary son and a good brother. It _had_ to be tiring. 

She saw him pressing his fingers against the straight bridge of his nose, and had spontaneously remembered how good looking he could be, specially when sporting that serious expression upon his face. A spark of _longing_ ignited within her. 

Elia moved in order to straddle him, his eyes wide open when she did it. She had taken him by surprise, she knew. “You should relax” she murmured as she kissed his chin slowly, making a path down his neck. It had been a while. 

But the feeling of his hands placed on her arms softly yet firmly, stopping her from going forward, paralyzed her. She regained her posture to face him. Was something wrong?

“I… I’m sorry, I’m _really_ tired” he licked his lips, one of his hands going up and down her arm. 

She felt her lips partes and her cheeks blushing. It was the first time something like that happened to her. It was the first time he rejected her. But he wasn’t rejecting her, was he? He was just tired. Just like she was sometimes. 

“It’s okay” she pressed her lips together tightly in a smile that faded quickly. In that very moment, the position in which she was, straddling him yet stiff as a board, had her blushing even more. 

“I’m sorry” he said once more. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY! So... First of all, I'm SO not happy with this chapter. It is a transition chapter, a necessary filler I would say, but still, I'm not comfortable with it, I wrote it while being mentally blocked, that's all I'm gonna say. I know it's short and not exactly an exciting chapter, but oh well... Yet I decided to just upload it anyway.
> 
> I promise the next ones are going to be better :)


	14. The Woods

The fact that Robert Baratheon’s eyes went to her every pair of minutes through the rearview did not move a single hair on her, she already knew him too well to know the game he was playing at. And she was not willing to play it. But she _did_ feel bad for Ned, since her remarkably good hearted and naive brother, apparently thought Robert Baratheon was interested in her. He had tried to throw some hints at her. Apparently, Ned believed that she would be Robert’s salvation if they ever dated. The funny thing was, Robert Baratheon was a train wreck, in every sense of the word. And she was simply incapable of feeling. How would that ever work? But in her brother’s head, it made perfect sense.

“You’ve no idea of what I’ve got here” Robert’s grin only augured trouble. But that was fine, that was the reason behind the trip anyway. 

He pulled a bag filled with mushrooms out of the car then, much to Ned’s and Lyanna’s surprise. 

“Shit. I thought this wasn’t supposed to be that kind of party” she heard her brother’s voice in response to Robert’s little plants. It would be amusing, to watch Ned tripping. Robert would surely force it into his throat even if he didn't want to. 

“Seriously, Ned? Don’t you know me?” his words were accompanied by a booming laughter when he patted Ned’s shoulder. “Come now, the others must be waiting” Robert finally said.

“The others? How did they get in if we just arrived?” she couldn’t help but to wonder. Storm’s End was supposed to be empty. 

“My cousin’ came earlier with the others” Robert shrugged. 

Ned turned around while walking, and threw one quick glance towards her. “Rhaegar’s his cousin. But you knew that, right?” 

Yes, indeed, she did. So he was there. She felt her mouth suddenly dry as ash, and her backpack suddenly seemed heavier. Oh, she suddenly had the wish to remain in those woods, and not even go near the beach were they were supposed to camp. At the distance, on top of a cliff, she could see what she supposed was the castle the Baratheons owned in that place. She would gladly run to the cliff if she could. 

The soft soon of the waves against the rocks and the loud beats of music ahead told her that they were near, and it wasn’t long before the golden sight of a beach with angry waves greeted her between the tall trees of the woods. Colorful tents rose up from the sand, and a small group of people was already there, around a bonfire. 

The first to make himself noticed, of course, was Robert. Amongst the presents, she was surprised to find the twins. Cersei and Jaime were already there, Jaime, quite taken with something on his phone, and Cersei, with her eyes instructing her to immediately sit by her side. 

And even if she didn’t want to, her sight went past Ashara, Melara, Catelyn Tully, Arthur Dayne, Jon Connington and others, and went straight to were Rhaegar was sitting. 

His fingers were threaded with the thin, bronzed fingers of Elia Martell in a exceedingly telling hand’s clasp. His eyes went to her once, and she felt like drowning all of the sudden. 

And for her mental health, she decided to ignore the lovely picture in front of her, and take her place next to Cersei. At least the blonde seemed happy with her presence. 

“Hey” the Lannister lioness smiled, passing her a bottle of wine, with no fancy glass to pour it on. She took the bottle in her hand and soon enough, the sweet liquid was already flowing down her throat. She only hoped it would help her calm the fuck down, or else she would go to the sea and drown. 

“Look at what I’ve got here!” Robert extended the bag of mushrooms he showed to her and Ned before for everyone to see it. And everyone seemed quite happy with the sight of them. 

“Whoa! Mushrooms!” Jaime smiled from his spot, finally taking his eyes off of his cellphone, and leaving his comfortable spot to get one of those. 

“Those are the funny ones” Cersei gave her a grin, and Lyanna returned the gesture.  

“Give me some” Arthur Dayne asked, grabbing a few, and passing them to Rhaegar, a complicity smile forming in the friend’s faces. 

Next to Rhaegar, Elia Martell seemed quite displeased, in contrast with the rest. She had the same expression Eddard sported earlier when finding out about the mushrooms, or at least, quite similar, but definitely sourer. “Rhaegar? Are you serious?” her voice was soft and demanding, all at the same time, like bells ringing from afar, her frowning brows revealing her discontent. 

Rhaegar looked at her, his fingers taking the mushrooms to his mouth “It’s part of the fun. Come on” he said before putting them finally into his mouth and chewing them, much to his girlfriend’s annoyance, with a teasing smile on his face. In response, Elia rolled her dark, almond colored eyes at him, while murmuring something she did not catch.  

“How long till it kicks in, Robert?” Cersei had asked, gaining the attentive stare of Robert. 

The dark haired guy raised his eyebrows then. “Not long” 

And Robert was certainly right. It wasn’t long before she felt her head lighter, and she couldn’t even tell when did she get up and started dancing in the sand along with the others. It felt fucking amazing, for sure. But everything seemed so blurry at times, but yet crystal clear the next moment. Vivid colors was all she was seeing. The golden locks of Cersei looked like rays of sunshine in that moment, having caught the glimpse of fire, and the only thing she could understand from what Cersei said was the _Oh shit_ part, and her laughter. After that, Robert grabbed her friend’s waist and pulled her closer, but that wasn’t what she wanted to look at.

His violet gaze looked brighter, even when the sun had already set, and the only thing illuminating them was the golden light the bonfire emanated. She felt herself smiling, against her will. And the truth was, she didn’t even know why she was smiling, all she knew was that it felt good. 

“I’m fucked up” she laughed as _he_ passed her a spliff, the smoke soon enough filling her lungs, and making her feel even lighter than before. 

“I am too” he said as the smoke escaped from his parted lips. There was a small moment of silence between them, one she knew he would soon fill. “Listen, about the other day…”

And suddenly, she felt her blood rushing in her veins. Was he truly going to say something about it? His silence had been more than enough, she was not stupid like that. She understood.  “I wanted to-“ 

 _What did you want?_ She wondered in half a second, but yet, she could not let him continue. He would screw it all up. As if it wasn’t all screwed up anyway. Still… “Later” Lyanna’s smile fell as she stopped him from talking. 

Elia was standing right behind Rhaegar, her expression, not a happy one, her almond colored eyes going to her for a brief second, a glimpse of confusion in them. 

That was not something she wanted to see, or hear. And just like hers, Rhaegar’s smile fell too. In the end, she walked away from them, because she was not going to be the third wheel in their fight. The last thing she heard, was Elia Martell’s soft voice breaking and leaving all tenderness behind, like a mirror that had been broken and had become sharp and spiky. 

She could not blame her. Even if she was angry at him for the all the wrong reasons. The right reasons, were a well kept secret between she and Rhaegar. 

From her new spot upon a rock that was constantly being lunged by the sea waves, she could see it all. 

She could see Ned and his timid moves while speaking to Catelyn Tully, they were probably, besides Elia, the only ones who were not so screwed up as the rest. She could see Robert sucking Cersei’s face, she could see the disgusted glare Jaime threw in their direction, and she could also see the moment in which Elia, fading away in the darkness, entered one of the tents and closed it from the inside. Rhaegar looked just like before, and she bit her lip to stop herself from getting up and go straight to him. 

But for fuck’s sake, she felt so odd. And it wasn't only the damned mushrooms. With her head feeling light and her blurry mind, she saw him entering the woods, a spliff in hand and a beer in the other. How badly was the yearning burning her, she could not tell in that moment. And it was awful. It was like a switch, from one moment to another, she could turn from a stone-hearted, cold person, into a mess of unplaced emotions and burning yearns. 

Lyanna stood from her spot, stumbling clumsily to get down without actually falling and hurting herself, and followed the path he followed before. 

For a moment, the music was louder, and she could hear everyone’s laughter, murmuring, or whatever they were doing, feeling the sand under her feet, and the next… Nothing. Silence, and a mild darkness that had her wondering if it had been a good idea. Of course it wasn’t a good idea, not even in the day light it would’ve been.

What was she thinking anyway.

“What are you doing here?” a voice asked behind her. His voice. She would recognize those iron tones that sounded like soft velvet somehow in the air anywhere. 

She turned around, and found his figure sitting amongst the trees, the beer already resting on the ground. Against her better judgement, she kneeled next to him, not at all intimidated by the closeness. How could she be intimidated anyway. 

His amethyst orbs looked black in the middle of the darkness that veiled them, his golden skin looked pale under the faint moonlight that pierced through the trees’ leaves and branches. What was there about him that made her feel so oddly anxious. Made her actually _feel_ something. Because otherwise, she simply could not.

She got closer to him, but he didn't say a word, and didn’t move an inch. Instead, he remained there, looking at her and only her with those mysterious orbs that seemed to want to drown her in their depths. “Hit me” _In every way. Do it._ Her voice was low.

A mid-smile appeared on his lips, an incredulous one. “What?”

“You heard me” she encouraged him, licking her lips as anxiety speared through her. She could feel her hands trembling at it. “Hit me. Do it. Come on”

“Pffft… Are you insane? I’m not going to hit you”  he denied with his head, while pushing his blond hair back. 

“I want to feel something. Do it, hit me. I dare you” 

And for a while, time slowed down, and everything went silent, and the darkness was starting to oppress her, slowly, painfully. Pain. She could feel pain. And when his lips touched hers, there was something else she could not name. She dared not.

Lyanna surrounded his neck with her arms, melting into their kiss, and letting whatever she was feeling flow within her freely as a river. Because nothing ever felt so good. 

She felt his hands on her back, on her waist, on her hips, and soon after, she found herself helping him to take her blouse off, and she wondered if she was actually blushing, or if it was only the wine from hours ago. 

His clothes didn’t last long on him either, and all she could focus on was his bare skin against hers in that mattress of leaves under them, small, hard stones pushing against her back as she felt his hand kneading her thigh softly, encouraging her to adopt a different position, and finally surrounding his waist with her legs as he kissed her deeply, slowly, as if he was worshipping her with every touch. It had her feeling drunk, all of it. 

The next thing she felt, after he positioned himself between her legs, was a painful sting in her core, it hurt, it felt as if he was ripping her two, and she closed her eyes and held her breath, waiting for him to move and ready to endure the pain. 

But he didn’t. 

“Lyanna?” his voice was a murmur, an almost frightened one. She opened her eyes, and found him on top of her, his eyes looking down at her with concern. “You've never…” he trailed the sentence off, and she nodded. 

She caught the exact moment in which his eyes widened slightly in surprise, a glimpse of regret shining in them too.

“I’m sorry.” he said as he kissed her face softly, her forehead, her little nose, her cheeks, her lips, holding her as if she were made of crystal in his arms, as if he were afraid to break her. 

And when he moved again, slowly and carefully, it hurt, it felt like a stinging all over again. But of course, it didn’t last forever, the pain.

As time passed, the uncomfortable pain was replaced by something else, something that had her moaning and moving her hips against his and sinking her nails in his back in pleasure. They were so caught in one another, that she had forgotten about everything else, and all she could hear, despite her moans, was the sound of his ragged breath brushing against the skin of the crook of her neck, where his head was nested. 

At some point, she felt his hands grabbing her hips and positioning them in another angle, and her sight went dark, with only a few light spots shining there. She was sure that her gasps and moans were louder then, and she wondered if that was the reason behind the cocky smile she felt against her collarbone, but she didn’t have much time to think about it. It struck her after a while, something had been building up deep inside her, she didn’t know what, but it did, and when it reached it’s limit, the ecstasy had left her completely exhausted, yet satisfied as never before in her life.

She felt him moving a few times more inside her, until he finally collapsed on top of her, holding himself with his arms against the ground not to crush her with his weight, still buried deep inside.

Her heart was still beating fast in her chest, and all she could do was to stroke his face gently with her hands, admiring every single detail under the silver moonlight. 

They just lingered there, listening to each other’s breathing, trading soft, warm caresses in the middle of their silence. Lyanna passed a soft hand upon the spots her nails surely marked earlier on his back, feeling the taut flesh under her touch. It was warm, that place in his arms. It felt right. 

He turned them around, and it was him lying on his back then, holding her waist and pulling her body impossibly close to his, her head resting on his chest, and her arm across his waist. 

She closed her eyes at the feeling of his fingers brushing against the skin of her arms tenderly, slowly falling asleep with the sound of his accelerated heart in the middle of the night. 

The last thing she felt, was a kiss on top of her head, and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.


	15. Breaking Dawn

He put his coat around her shoulders and sat next to her on the ground. It was cold, she realized. 

Vivid tones of violet and orange were already painting the sky upon them. Their time together was about to end. As soon as the others woke up, it would all be over. Unless they were already looking for them, of course. 

“Is that better?” he asked. She simply nodded, grabbing the coat tighter around her. 

There was a lull between them, as if they were both wondering what to do, what to say next. Was there anything to say? Because she never felt so lost before in her life. 

But even so… She did not regret a thing. Did he? 

A soft snorting laughter escaped him, a low sound that somehow seemed slightly bitter. “Fuck…” he cursed, a sour smile crossing his features “This is… Lyanna, I…”

He seemed so confused, so fucking confused. He _did_ regret it. He did. And she was nothing more than a little idiot for letting _that_ hurt her. 

She knew what she was doing anyway, since the beginning. And there was no possible version of it, no outcome, in which things could go well, or in which things would not be so ridiculously screwed up for her. 

In front of her, the ever eloquent Rhaegar seemed speechless, or lost in some abstract thought of his, as if he was struggling against it. She was not the only one confused, it appeared.  

But sooner rather than later, he would speak a few words that would leave her even more light headed than before. And so he did. “I want to be with you” he said in a hushed tone, amethyst colored eyes resting upon her almost fiercely, and it burned. 

Lyanna looked down, to where her fingers were absently playing with the laces of her shoes. She didn’t even recall when did she start doing it. 

The laces were then resting on the ground, and her fingers went numb. 

She was still looking down, but Lyanna could swore she could feel his gaze still on her.  “Won’t you tell me anything?” 

Had he lost his mind? Or was she the one hallucinating.  “You’ve a girlfriend” she reminded him. She reminded herself. 

Guilt stained eyes were still looking at her, his features hardening for a brief instant at the mention of Elia, before speaking again. “I know. But I can’t be with Elia anymore after this.” 

She stiffened in her place. She knew what he implied. It was crystal clear. And a part of her was yearning for it, that part of her that made her tremble whenever she thought of him, the feeling crawling under her skin like poison. And that was what the other part of her was afraid of. She had seen it, many times. People getting involved, it only meant people getting hurt. 

The first example she could put, was her own family, her own parents, her mother. And, ironically, the second one was right in front of her, staring down at her with the most vivid and beautiful eyes she had ever seen, ready to hurt his significant other. And if she was stupid enough, he would end up hurting her too. 

But her head wouldn’t stop spinning, and her mind wouldn’t stop thinking. She recognized desire when she felt it, want too, but what the hell was going on? What in the world had struck her in such a manner that she felt so vulnerable? It could not be, that emotion she’d not dare to name. It was impossible, since she was simply _not able to._

And yet… “You wouldn’t…” she stated, biting her lower lip out of sudden nervousness. Was it possible to want for two completely opposite things at the same time? 

“I will” he replied quietly. It was no hard choice to make, she supposed. But there he was, claiming he would do it. “I have to.”

“But you… You will leave her” 

He frowned. It was clearly not a decision he felt comfortable with. Why did he feel like he had to choose anyway? She never asked it of him. She decided to sleep with him because she wanted to, not because her plan involved him leaving his girlfriend. “You don’t have to do that” she told him, gulping heavily “I never asked you to do it. I don’t _want_ you to do it” 

“Is it fair that I sit around her all day with nothing else in my head besides you?” the revelation struck her strong and crude. 

He sighed, his eyes closed, as his fingers pinched the straight bridge of his nose. “What is this, Rhaegar? Tell me”

A mid smile stretched his lips slightly, the sour undertone still lingering there. “I don’t know, Lyanna… All I know is that I want to be with you.”

Absentmindedly, her hand grabbed his. His skin felt warm and welcoming against her cold hands. “I do too” 

 _Love is for fools._ She thought as she closed her eyes and kissed him softly, enjoying the touch of his hands cupping her face as he followed, unaware of wide eyes staring at the scene from afar. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He threw his coat next to the tent in which Elia was. His sight travelled a few yards ahead, and found Lyanna’s silhouette lying next to a sleeping Cersei Lannister, her head resting upon her hands, and her big silver eyes staring at him through wild, dark chestnut colored locks. And he remembered the woods all over again, and her silver eyes looking up at him in dazzle. It was a good thing Elia was sleeping, because otherwise he would not be able to look at her in the eyes. 

And his head was spinning around possibilities. How was he supposed to do it? What was he supposed to say? Because the last thing he wanted was to hurt her. 

He could see her sleeping face through a small opening on the tent, peaceful, and yet a little troubled. It was his fault, he knew. 

Once before, Elia had told him he was the best person she knew. Right now, she could very well tell him he was the most spiteful piece of garbage she had ever known, and he would accept it. It was not a lie. 

A chill ran down his spine when he found wide, dark eyes looking at him, as if she could hear how loud his thoughts were, as if she could see right through him. But she couldn’t, it was only his mind playing tricks on him, his guilty conscience, perhaps… 

“Rhaegar” she said in a hushed tone as she sat down on her sleeping bag. She blinked a few times, looking around. The sky was already clear, she seemed to have realized. “Where were you? Where did you sleep?”  Elia asked before yawning, her arms stretching upon her head.

“I… Slept in the woods” _With someone else._

“Oh…” she said, her expression suddenly changing, as if the memories of the night before were dawning upon her. Was she still mad? He could not tell. 

He looked in Lyanna’s direction once more, briefly. She was still awake, still looking at him with glassy eyes. He turned his sight to Elia once again. “I know you’re mad at me, but-“ 

“I’m not mad at you, Elia” how could he? 

“Let’s forget about the other night then.” Elia smiled softly, her hand reaching for his in a swift motion “I know you’re not like _them._ I know you’re not simple minded like they are. I was just worried” her fingers locked around his then, and he had never felt so uncomfortable with her touch before. Would she still hold his hand like that if she knew what he did? _No_.

‘Simple minded’, she had called them. 

She was referring to Robert, to the Lannisters, to everyone around them. Elia had always liked him not because of his looks, or because of his last name, none of that. But because she always said she liked who he was. She liked how smart he was, she said many times, how different from the others he seemed. She would probably not think the same way if she ever found out about what he did. 

But that was not something he planned to tell her. Their relationship would end, that much was clear. But he would never tell her what happened before. It would break her, and what he was about to do was enough damage. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ned saw his sister emerging from the woods at the break of dawn, behind her, Rhaegar Targaryen followed her closely. They shared a short look, a few unheard words, and Lyanna took a coat that was simply too big for her off, and gave it to him before they both split and went to their respective spots. 

Ned was never one to think ill of others _just because_. But he had always been suspicious when he had to. And something in the scene that was displayed quietly in front of him, without them acknowledging him, told him his ever willful and reckless sister was getting herself in trouble. 

It didn’t fit. The idea crossing his mind didn’t fit Rhaegar Targaryen’s impeccable character. His sister’s, however… 

He could only hope, that what he had seen meant nothing, and that he was just overthinking matters. Otherwise, it meant Lyanna had finally crossed the line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late, but oh well :)


	16. Stares and Sharp Tongues

For some unknown reason to her, that day, Ned’s questioning eyes wouldn’t abandon her form. It felt as if she was being watched, constantly, as if he was waiting for something to happen, or for her to do something that could somehow be what he was expecting. And it was starting to irk her. 

In the end, she decided that, ignoring his odd behavior would be the best she could do. She was not in the mood to decipher whatever he was thinking, and neither did she want to find out. Lyanna did not want to deal with her brother’s morality. The looks he gave her, she knew, he was judging her, she just didn’t know the reason. 

But knowing Ned, she would soon know. 

And on the other side, Rhaegar too was watching her. But it was different, because the fact that he would not take his eyes off of her did not irk her. It actually made her want to jump him, to just send her self control to hell, consequences be damned. Instead, she simply looked back at him, biting her lower lip, something that, from what she could read in him, provoked him. 

And it was wrong, so fucking wrong, because while he was laying back against his car, with his indigo eyes fixed on her, Elia Martell was grabbing his arm. Apparently, she too had noticed his fixation, and her dark eyes went to Lyanna, wondering and maybe even inquisitive. 

That was enough for her to break the visual contact. To want him so badly was one thing, but to rub it in his girlfriend’s face… She certainly was not proud of it. Lyanna could mess her own life, always, in so many different ways. But she never wanted to mess anyone else’s life. And what she did, what _they_ did, well… 

When Cersei arrived, with her big, pink bag hanging from her shoulder, Lyanna wondered if she should tell her. Was that a good idea?

It had to be kept secret, she knew. Rhaegar said he would be with her, and her heart skipped a beat when he did, but what if he didn’t? Wouldn’t she be starting a fire for nothing, if she told Cersei? Not that she would feel comfortable admitting to someone else to be irremediably falling for him. It would make it all just too real, and she was not ready for it. 

“So, where were you last night? You disappeared” Cersei mentioned with a raised eyebrow.

It was expected, and she had already prepared an excuse. Because in the end, she would not be able to tell her, just not yet. 

“I got lost. The noise and the people, it was getting too loud. I went for a walk and got lost.” she explained calmly. She was a good liar, she knew. There was no trace of her lying, no betraying sign, nothing. At least not when giving excuses, she was so used to it. And while explaining herself to Cersei, her mind went -involuntarily- back to the woods, every vivid detail still fresh. And Lyanna fancied she could still feel the pressure of Rhaegar’s body on top of her. Her mouth went dry then. 

“Oh. I see. Well it was fun, you know, here…” the blonde said as she pushed a thin lock of hair behind her ear, her emerald eyes went to Jaime for a fleeting moment before returning to her “Did you know Arthur is single right now? He’s hot” her heart shaped lips curved up in a smile.  

And even when the heated memories of the night before kept repeating in her mind over and over, she was still able to focus on what Cersei had just told her. “Weren’t you sucking Robert’s face last night?” Lyanna grinned teasingly, and Cersei snorted in faked indignation. 

“Who cares about Robert?” the blonde rolled her eyes “I’m talking about Arthur. He looks so… Shaggable” Cersei picked the word carefully at the end of her sentence, a grin accompanying it. Arthur Dayne was, indeed, hot.

“So did you two talk or something?” 

“Yes. We did. After Robert got tired of trying to get in my pants, and decided to finally leave and go after Alerie -much to Jaime’s disgust” Cersei chuckled “We got to talk a little. Turns out, he’s not only good looking, but also has a brain” she remarked, her eyebrows rising up high in her forehead.

“So you actually like that he has a brain. Well, that’s different…”but it wasn’t, she knew. The reason why Cersei never, _ever_ liked anyone, at least not seriously, was the following: Cersei had a big ego, and she had no trouble denying it. She described herself as ‘perfect’, under the excuse of being, well, extremely beautiful, refined, smart, from a respected family, and, did she mentioned it already? Beautiful. 

Under those circumstances, to find someone who could match her in all of those, who could be on her same level or even above, someone who could actually impress her, well, it was impossible for her. According to Cersei, of course. But where most people saw her as the ‘so full of herself’ type, Lyanna did not.

She herself failed at finding her ‘type’, so she could perfectly understand Cersei. Of course, that was behind her, since she had already found someone who got her, as Brandon would put it, with her panties hitting the floor. And she could say it was literal too now. 

“I won’t even ask what you meant… I feel like I might get a little bit offended by the hidden meaning there” Cersei narrowed her eyes at her then, 

And for the next half an hour, she listened to Cersei. Arthur had made quite an impression in her, apparently, and that was not an easy task. Arthur Dayne caught her eye, doubtlessly. And in the back of her mind, a little part of her was relieved. 

Even if it was probably meaningless to Cersei, she could still remember the day in which she openly claimed she liked Rhaegar. A tiny part of her felt slightly uncomfortable with the knowledge, but after the talk about Arthur Dayne, she could finally put the small feeling of uneasiness to rest.

At some point, she could see Rhaegar opening the door of the car for Elia, Arthur and Ashara already seated in the back. When he closed the door, he gave her one last look from the distance, one she reciprocated, and it was so subtle, that not even Cersei noticed it. 

It was time to leave, she realized. 

After saying good bye to Cersei and Jaime, she walked to where Ned was, throwing his bag into the car. The way in which he looked at her, that same damned look he’d been giving her the entire day, it felt like she was being observed, judged, all at the same time. And she was not a very patient person, never was. 

“What?” Lyanna, after withholding her explosiveness the entire day, finally barked.  

Her brother, not at all impressed by her aggressive ways, simply lifted an eyebrow in return. It was frustrating sometimes. 

“Seriously, Ned… You’ve been watching me the entire day. Is there something wrong?”

He looked at her with those grey orbs so similar to hers, something in his behavior told her he was suspicious of her. But why?

The mushrooms? It wasn’t like he didn’t know what they were doing all along. It would be stupid to keep holding that annoying dignified stare just because of that. The only other possibility struck her right then, and her blood froze. She felt the color draining from her face, quickly. _Did he saw me this morning?_

“That’s what I’ve been wondering too” he shrugged, suspicion dancing in his eyes. 

Lyanna remained still. He knew. And if not, he suspected it. _Fuck._ There was no other explanation for his odd, judgmental behavior, and that quizzical sentence. 

Lyanna wanted to say something, anything. But nothing came to her mind. Nothing smart, at least. And Ned was no fool, to try to fool him would be useless, and would only give him more reasons to suspect.

Ned sighed then. “I only hope, Lyanna… That whatever you are doing, is not one of your follies.” 

He suspected it. That was it. She withheld then a sigh of relief, then. 

But he would not let it go. Ned wouldn’t. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Oh, she’s so full of herself, Arthur. I’m telling you… What did she tell you?” he heard Elia asking, after Ashara mentioned something about Cersei Lannister and him, last night, sitting together…

Or something like that.

Of course, he did not know of what they were talking about, and why was it such a big deal. Not that he cared anyway, he wasn’t even able to focus on the subject. His mind was elsewhere, his eyes fixed on the road while the babbling around him was nothing but background noises with familiar voices. 

Her silver eyes, the small, faint freckles dusted upon her little nose, her full lips kissing him fiercely, the sweet scent of her hair. That was all he could truly think about, even when Elia’s hand was resting on his knee warmly.

“… I mean, if you want to sleep with her, fine. You’d have it easy anyway, probably” who was Elia talking about? He did not have a clue. 

Ashara, however, unlike him, was deep into the conversation, and added then: “Oh, come on. That’s not true.” Ashara stated, apparently, defending someone’s honor. 

“Well, it wouldn't surprise me if she were easy. She acts like it. Didn’t you see her with Robert?” Elia was speaking once again. 

His mind was somewhere else, thinking of grey eyes and dark locks and full lips that warmed him all night, but when the name of the owner of such traits was brought up to the conversation, his musings shattered, and for the first time in an hour, he decided to pay attention to whatever they were saying. “And the Stark girl… She’s probably the same, I mean, look at her.”  

His hold on the steering wheel tightened. Did they even know her? Did Elia ever even had a real conversation with her, as to be talking so much shit? Gossip never bothered him, he found it petty, yes, stupid, unnecessary, but he normally simply ignored it. This time, it irked him, terribly so. 

However, the whole notion was not foreign to him. When it came to speaking of others with sharp tongues, Oberyn and Elia succeeded in the field. For all her virtues, her kindness, her refinement, he knew Elia, and -just like every human being on the planet- she had her flaws. Judging and criticizing others, based on petty assumptions, that was her flaw. One she shared with Oberyn. 

He didn’t like it, but it never bothered him either. He simply ignored it. However, in that precise moment, he felt annoyance rooting within him, deeply, the scowl on his face was the proof. 

“She’s too hot. But I don’t know about that, Elia… We should ask Rhaegar here, he’s the one who tutored her for a few weeks” and as soon as Arthur said it, he felt Elia’s eyes landing on him. 

“I know her too” Ashara’s voice faded in the background, because he was too aware of Elia’s attention upon him.

It would’ve made him feel like shit, such a thing. But it was not the case, at least not in that moment. 

“Did you?” Elia seemed surprised. And she surely was. He didn’t tell her. At the moment, he decided not to tell her because it seemed irrelevant, nothing important. And then, well… Because of his own, guilty conscience. “You didn’t tell me”

He tried to push his annoyance away in order to give her an answer. One that did not sound as cutting as the one he had in his mind.  “No. You were in Dorne.” he only hoped his tone did not betray him. His dry, short answer surely did.  

He didn’t need to look at Elia to know she was making _that_ face, that face that demanded more information from him. But it wasn’t a good time, and she would have to do with the little he could give her. “So?”

“So what?”

“What do you think about her?” his girlfriend asked with curiosity. 

And, much to her disappointment, he was sure, he answered “She’s not like that. At all.”

"Fine, fine..." the tone in her voice told him she caught the tension in his "Relax, we were just saying..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you find any mistake, let me know. I wrote this chapter from my phone, so yeah...
> 
> Aaaaand, Elia's comments will have repercussions in the next chapters :D


	17. Plucking Strings

Her phone vibrated once more under her pillow, and in the darkness of her room, Lyanna didn’t need to be a fortune teller to know that the one behind the many insistent messages, was Cersei.

And the truth was, her head was just somewhere else, not there. _She_ was not there. Plain and simple. She was useless, even for a random conversation with a friend. 

So when her hand reached under her pillow, and grabbed the phone, she narrowed her eyes, trying to adjust her sight to the shining screen. It was eleven thirty pm, and she was already about to fall asleep. The people from her former boarding school would’ve been delighted by such a thing. 

The messages, most of them, were from Cersei, just as she predicted. But one of them, the last one, was not Cersei’s. But that was the one that got her heart skipping a beat, the one she could possibly not just leave unanswered. Simply because she didn’t want to. 

_‘I need to talk to you. Can I call you?’_

She bit her lip as she read the content of it, out of anxiety, that damned uneasiness rooting at the pit of her stomach that only grew and grew as her fingers typed a three letter word on the screen of the phone. 

And as the text was being sent, her mind went ahead of the next answer, and she wondered… She wondered if there was something he needed to tell her. If something had changed. 

One thing she learned, from a very early age, was that people, people were changeable. They would often say a thing, and change it in the next morning. And they were even more changeable when their previous decisions were taken purely based on impulses. Dumb impulses, regrettable impulses. 

Her phone vibrated then, and she took a deep breath. Absentmindedly, her finger was already pressing the green, big dot on the screen, the phone against her ear, waiting eagerly to hear him speak. 

“Hey” she breathed.

“Hey” his voice sounded slightly husky on the phone, she noticed.

Lyanna moved in her bed, suddenly, her soft pillow was no longer so comfortable. “Are you having second thoughts?” she sighed, letting her selfishness pull the strings, wishing for his reply not to be what she was expecting. 

“No.” his voice was firm and clear, and she pressed her lips together. “Never. I know I shouldn’t have called you _now_ ” he continued “But I wanted to… I needed to.”

“It’s fine… I’ve been thinking about you too” she confessed, startled at her own sincerity and how easy it was to just let it slip like that. 

The next question, however, displaced her every musing to some dark corner in which they all mixed and melted and… “Can we meet?”

“Yes…”

For a fleeting instant, she remembered her father was in the house, probably still very awake. But then again, not that it mattered. It wasn’t the first time she escaped without him realizing. Perhaps, that was not her real concern after all. 

“I can go to your house if you want” he offered. Had he gone crazy? Probably not, probably it was just the ignorance about her current, disastrous relationship with her father. In any case, it was impossible. “No. My house, well… It’s just not a good time right now… We can meet somewhere else” 

He made a humming sound then, one that told her he might had’ve an idea, or at least be thinking of one. “I can pick you up” 

And in the middle of the darkness, looking up at some lost spot in the ceiling, Lyanna put a hand on her forehead before speaking again, aware of what she was about to do. “Okay” 

“Okay. I’ll be there in twenty” 

Oddly, she did feel absolutely unfazed after that call. At least for the moment. As she turned the lights on, and searched for any good enough looking clothing to put on, her mind went over and over the details of the conversation once again, and where it could lead her. 

They were about to meet again, and all she could already think of was of how badly she wanted him. The fact that she actually wanted _him_ in a sexual way did not bother her, at all… But the fact that it was not only that, that it was something beyond just the physical, to hear his voice, to spend time together, to just watch him even, well… It made that feeling of restlessness linger in her stomach. 

Trying to ignore such a thing, she went downstair, silent a mouse, with nothing more in hand than her phone. The place was awfully quiet, which only meant that, were she to make any noise, it would sound as if the entire world were falling apart downstairs. And she did not want that.

She carefully opened one of the doors, already feeling half successful when it made no sound at all. But when she put the first foot on the outside, the sound of a hushed voice behind her made her jerk in her position. _What the fuck?!_

“Where are you going?” Ned was standing behind her, a glass of water in hand, and a lifted eyebrow on his forehead. Thankfully, her brother had decided to just keep his tone low. He knew. He knew what she was doing, and he decided to, somehow, be her shield, in his own, nosy way.  

“Out” she simply stated, throwing one quick glance out to the street. 

Only seconds later, she recognized _his_ car, parking silently in front of her house. Anticipation filled her, and Ned, like she predicted, recognized it too. “Is that…?” 

She drummed her fingers against her thigh once, to deny it would be stupid, to play the fool even more so. And Ned was not stupid. “Fuck’s sake, yes, it is. What about it?” exasperation staining her tone, and she only hoped she wasn’t too loud for the quietness of the place. 

Ned, with that judgmental look of his, and that air of moral disapproval, simply denied with his head. If he suspected before, not anymore. Now he knew. At least he would not tell on her, that much was clear. Otherwise he would’ve already tried to stop her. 

Turned out, he knew her just as well as she knew him. 

“Bye, Ned” was all she said before she went out, aware of her brother’s sight following her.

 But it didn’t matter, and soon enough the feeling of being observed vanished, as soon as she got into the car. 

And there he was, looking at her with those deep indigo eyes.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, and only then she noticed she was actually scowling. 

“It was Ned, he just… It doesn’t matter” Lyanna cleared her throat. “Let’s go”

“Where do you want to go?” the car started moving then. 

“Why did you wanna see me?” she finally asked.

“I don’t know” he absentmindedly said, and she squinted at him. What kind of an answer was that? “I’ve been thinking all day… About you. And the truth is, there is no valid reason. I just wanted to see you. And I know I should end things with Elia first, I just haven’t found the right moment to tell her yet. And if you want me to take you back, that’s fine.”

Take her back? She remained silent, and she could tell he was squinting with some poorly veiled curiosity. “I _want_ to be here, Rhaegar. If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t be here. Now, where are we going?”

He swore she saw the corner of his mouth twitching in what looked like little smile for a fleeting instant. It made her smile too. “Wherever you want to go”

“Somewhere quiet would be nice” she shrugged. 

“My house, then” 

Her face must’ve been very telling, because only seconds after, he chuckled softly at what she supposed was her expression. His house? What about his fucking parents? They surely knew Elia, and she didn’t want to look like their son’s sidepiece. Even if, technically, she was. Why did she even care? How screwed was she, truly? As if he read her mind, he told her: “My parents are not home, if that’s what you’re thinking of. My siblings are, but they won’t bother”

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

As soon as they got into his room, the first thing she noticed, was the meticulous cleanliness of the place. When in her own room, one could easily comment that it looked like a tornado visited her, his, was the exact opposite. Hers, was extremely charged, and his, was simply minimalistic. 

Another thing she noticed, were the books upon his desk, and a few instruments forgotten in a corner. She had never heard him play, but she wondered what it would sound like when his fingers plucked the strings.   

“Put yourself comfortable” he threw his coat on the bed then. 

With her eyes still wandering around the room, Lyanna decided to take a seat behind his desk. “You like to read” she observed, her fingers tracing the letters on the cover of one of the books.

“Can you tell?”

She chuckled softly. “What about the instruments? Do you play them all?”

“I do” he smiled, irradiating some kind of dignified confidence that made her suddenly curious “I compose sometimes” he added then, his smile turning slightly cocky. 

“Should I assume you’re a wonderful musician, based on that narcissistic grin?” Lyanna lifted an eyebrow at him, almost daring. 

“Let me show you” he denied with his head, while the grin still lingered upon his lips. He gave her a knowing look, an almost mocking one. For her disbelief, she supposed. “Which one do you want me to play?” 

Lyanna turned her sight to the instruments gathered in a corner. The guitar? Nah. The cello? It was a good option… But the high harp that rested against the wall, was certainly the one that had caught her eye. “The high harp” she finally sentenced. 

She watched him as he grabbed the instrument, and put himself in position, sitting on the edge of his bed, his lopsided smile never really abandoning him. He gave her one last look before his fingers began to pluck the silver strings, the notes floating one after another in perfect harmony, composing a perfect melody that, for some reason, had left her breathless. 

Before she knew it, her sight became blurry. The melody, that sweet, yet sad melody, had somehow plucked her own strings. It had her feeling happy, yet sad at the same time, if such a thing was even possible. 

And while he continued playing, a warm tear rolled down her cheek, the reason, still unknown to her. However, when he turned his sight from the instrument and to her, that beautiful sound simply stopped, leaving an empty silence instead.

“Hey… Are you alright?” he scowled, his fingers abandoning the harp, and placing it gently on the floor. 

And Lyanna, as quickly as she could, wiped the proof of her sudden silliness away. “Yes, yes… I’m fine” she claimed, still trying to understand what happened. 

“Was I _that_ terrible?” he scoffed as he approached her. 

“Shut up. Idiot” she chuckled, getting on her feet to meet him. “Is there anything you _can’t_ do?” she smiled at him, squeezing the hand that had grabbed hers only a second before. 

“Well…” Rhaegar sighed “I’m a terrible cook”

“That’ll do” 

Lyanna bit her lower lip before planting a soft kiss on his lips, her hands at the back of his neck, and when she felt his arms around her waist, she simply felt like melting into the embrace. 

It wasn’t long before the kiss turned more and more demanding, and as her fingers pulled his hair softly, his hands were already going up and down her back slowly, the touch burning her. 

With a little hesitance, one of her hands pulled at the edged of his shirt, before she completely rid him of it. Her own clothes, of course, suffered the same fate, in a painfully slowly manner that only build up the heat. 

And it wasn’t long before she found herself straddling him in bed, with his toned body under hers, and his hot lips kissing her collarbone in a delightful way that had her gasping absentmindedly into the air, while her hands disheveled his blonde hair. 

Before continuing, he opened the drawer of the nightstand near his bed. She almost felt the urge to slap herself when she realized she had completely forgotten about ‘being safe’. One time was more than enough to try her luck. However, he had remembered. 

She kissed his face softly, and her nails were ready to sink into his neck when he positioned himself between her legs, his hands placed at the sides of her hips gently. And as he pulled her down, and pushed into her, his lips silenced her moans with a kiss, his hands still gripping her firmly, lifting her up and pulling her down.

How could it feel so good? The burning sensation of his golden skin against hers, the way in which his hands travelled across her entire body, the imprinted kisses he left… She could not think of anything else, she could not think of anything, really. Only about him, and the fire burning slow between them. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm at the airport, bored and waiting for my delayed flight... 4 hours... FOUR FUCKING HOURS... -.- 
> 
> Anyway, this was for those who specifically wanted more R/L interaction... There you go. 
> 
> By the way, if you find any mistakes, let me know... My macbook is currently trapped in the plane's storage room, so I wrote this in my cellphone, and I reeeeeeeally don't feel like rereading this because, well, it's a pain in the ass to read it from the phone (at least to me) :D


	18. Judgmental Brothers, and Understanding Sisters

Her dark locks were falling upon the curve of her bare back, stopping right at where the sheets were already covering her naked form. Her silver eyes were looking down at him with a hint of fascination drawn in them. The way in which she bit her lower lip, and had suddenly blushed the moment in which he woke up and caught her in the act, told him so. 

Yet, she simply averted her eyes away from him, her delicate, small factions being traced softly by the faint light that filtered through the curtains. Light. The fucking light. The sun was about to rise, he knew, which only meant they had little time together left. However, Lyanna didn’t seem too alarmed by the shimmering intruder, but rather absorbed in her own thoughts. 

He turned to his side, if only to caught the entirety of the beautiful image she made, and one of his hands ran across her creamy back, moving her dark locks in the process. 

“What are you thinking?” he asked, enjoying the silkiness of her pale skin under his touch. 

Still silent, she turned her face to him once again. Breathtakingly beautiful, Lyanna smiled faintly.

“Nothing” the corner of her mouth twitched, as if her silent musings were provoking some reaction within her. “I wonder if you know…” 

“Know what?” he asked, retiring his touch. She frowned, slightly, for only a fraction of a second.  

“How fucked up I really am” 

“Aren’t we all?”

Lyanna smiled again, apparently finding amusement in what she was about to say. “Some more than others” She said then. 

But she did not know… That ever since that night at the party, he already suspected how _‘fucked up’_ she was. 

He saw her once again in his head, sitting on the sidewalk, with a cigarette lingering between her fingers, and the smoke coming from her parted lips. Back then, he found the sight intriguing. Because why would such a beautiful creature made to astonish everyone around her look so grim? 

He pulled her closer then, until her small, delicate frame was against his strong one. “We’re both fucked up, each one in a different way. So what?”

“When I’m with you… I feel like a better person. Even when I should feel like a worse person, for what we are doing. I feel less lonely. Happier, too.” it was almost a whisper, the way in which she said it. 

“And what’s wrong with that?”

“It means that when you leave, it’s going to hurt”

He scowled. Something about the way in which she talked, told him she was absolutely sure of her own, bitter words. The strange thing was, it didn’t sound bitter, not coming from her. But rather resigned. And it made him feel like a naive child.

“I won’t leave. I won’t hurt you, Lyanna.” 

“I know you don’t want to” she murmured softly.

One of her thin fingers traced his jawline smoothly, slowly, before she brushed her lips against his. That single feather-like touch, had ignited a thousand flames within. And he was certain, he would never leave her. 

He pinned her against the mattress, delighted by her intoxicating scent. 

 Remembering they had little time left, he kissed her one more time, as she wrapped her legs around his waist and murmured sweet nothings on his ear as he moved. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Silent and hesitant, Lyanna’s steps felt like those of a dumb thief, trying to steal in the middle of the day. But it was still early, and there was no one around the house. Yet. 

Even thought she had been quite lucky, for nobody had noticed her absence, and the only one who did didn't say a word, she was not going to push her luck even more. 

She could only imagine the look on her father’s face if he realized his daughter didn’t spend the night at home. He would finally fulfill his promise of taking her to a military school, probably. 

And so, in all of her sneakiness, Lyanna finally reached her room. 

Ned was there, he was sitting on a chair. Was he waiting for her? Had he truly woken up so fucking early only to wait for her and give her shit about her actions? “What the fuck, Ned?!”

Her brother, not at all impressed by her choice of greeting, gave her a cold stare that left no room for doubts. He did not approve of whatever she was doing. And oh, if only she gave a single fuck about it. 

“You stole my line, Lyanna” 

“Don’t even start… And please, get out and let me get ready for school”

Eddard stood up from the chair, but she knew, he was not going to leave just yet. “What are you thinking, Lyanna? You’ve always been rebellious, reckless even… But this is beyond the limit”

Lyanna threw her phone in her bed, and kicked her shoes off of her feet then. “Why don't you just stay out of my business, Ned? Look, I love you, you’re my brother… But I know what I’m doing. So leave me alone” did she truly know what she was doing? Because sometimes it didn’t feel like it. But it was still her own fucking life. 

“I do love you too, Lyanna!” Ned’s voice was slightly too loud then, he seemed to notice too, for he spoke a few tones lower the next time “That’s why I care! What are you thinking? You leave the house at night with a guy. A guy who happens to have a girlfriend that’s not you, and come back in the morning? What exactly are you trying to do now? How do you think this will end? Because, Lya, let me tell you… There is no version of this, in which you do not end up in a bad position.”

As if she already didn’t fucking know. It was a torture, to think of it every single day. Eddard’s reminder was not welcome. She could already feel the heat going up her throat, as if she could throw flames of her own like some kind of mad dragon. “Ned, mind your own fucking business and leave me alone! You don’t even know what is happening between us. Fuck’s sake!”

Ned scowled then, acknowledgement shining through. “Well, is not hard to guess, Lya.” at his comment, she had the grace to blush. Not because her brother knew what she they did, how they spent the night… But because of that damned, accusatory stare he sent her way. “Next time, I’m not covering for you. Dad asked and I told him you were still sleeping.” he was going to left, but before, he turned around one last time “I knew you had your flaws, Lyanna… But I never thought you’d go so far”

 

  

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I didn’t know you had it in you” his sister eyed him briefly from across the kitchen, only to continue pouring juice into her glass. At that, he simply raised an eyebrow. 

“What, exactly?” he asked intrigued.

Shaena gracefully smiled, and gave him a knowing look. “The cheating.” she carelessly commented, discretion be damned. Such a revelation, earned a quick, yet poorly veiled look from the maid working at the kitchen at that time. Great, just what he needed. 

Shaena had probably seen them leave in the morning. 

He approached his sister, if only to be able to speak in a lower tone. One that allowed no one but her to hear. “Is not like that”

His sister smiled, and her eyebrows rose up high in her forehead in what seemed a mocking grimace. “Relax, brother. I’m not judging you. Or whomever that was. You just surprised me” 

The maid silently left the kitchen then, being followed by Rhaegar’s gaze. 

“Who is she anyway?” Shaena asked. “The girl who made my exemplary brother a cheating asshole” she mockingly said.

Letting a sigh out, he realized his sister was talking about it as if it was casual chat. Maybe he should just relax, indeed, even if her little joke did not exactly cause him any grace. Shaena was never the type to step into somebody else’s business. If he told her to drop it, she would. 

“She’s from college” he simply stated.

“Well, if I were you, I would be careful. Your sidepiece and your girlfriend going to the same college? Not a good idea” 

“She’s _not_ my _sidepiece_ ” his face cringed in disapproval. His sister raised her eyebrows once again. He did not want to speak about it, yet, he felt he should say something else so the conversation would end right there. “I’m ending things with Elia” that was all he was willing to say. 

And for the first time in the morning, Shaena looked truly surprised. “Well… I don’t particularly like Elia, but this is… Unexpected.” 

It was no secret to him, that his sister was not precisely in love with Elia, like his mother was. Still, he said nothing. 

“Well… I see you don't want to talk about it.”

It was a good thing, that his sister knew him so well. At least he would not have to explain to her things that not even he understood.

But the whole conversation brought another thought to his head.

It was time. He had to do it. 

After Shaena took her leave, he took his phone, and dialed the Elia’s number. 

And as he waited, he felt a knot on his throat, forming slowly. He knew what he was doing, and he wasn’t regretful of it. But he would hurt her, and that was something he never wanted. However, since he was a 'cheating asshole', he would eventually end up hurting someone. But it would be worse if he kept prolonging it all.

He knew what he had to do. It was not fair to her. It was not fair to Lyanna either. It was simply a shitty situation for all of them. 

When he finally heard the sound of her breathing on the other side of her phone, the words simply slipped from his mouth before she could even say a word. It was probably the anxiety of the moment. “I need to go to your house. We need to talk”

The next thing he heard, was the sound of her cries, bitter and sad. 


	19. About Love

Elia and Rhaegar were together _._ And while Elia held Rhaegar’s hand in a public display of affection, he looked like he could be a lifeless object, a little less response to the gesture, and he could’ve been considered a fucking statue that somehow had earned Elia Martell’s affection. 

A little voice in her head repeated a far too annoying sentence, over and over. _‘You knew how it was going to be, why are you complaining?’_

She did know. She never even asked him to break up with Elia, he was the one with the _brilliant_ idea. And why would he even bring the subject like he did, if he was not going to do it? It would only put him in _that_ stupid position in which he was now, and he was far smarter than that. It wasn’t like he needed to tell her so for her to sleep with him. She did it anyways. 

Another question that she needed to ask herself was: Why did she even care?

Was she jealous? Denying it would be ridiculous at that point. 

They were meeting later, but it didn’t make the sight any less discomforting. 

Feeling as if his stare was simply too heavy upon her, she turned to Cersei. Because after those twenty seconds of torturing herself voluntarily, she decided she had had enough. Jealousy. What a petty thing to feel. 

“So, Arthur never called?” Lyanna crossed her ankles on the ground, the tiny blades of grass tickling the skin then. 

Cersei, with a well veiled disappointment, denied with her head. If Lyanna didn’t know her better, she would say the blonde was unaffected. However, it was far from being that way. “Nope. He didn’t”

“Well, that’s odd”

“I know”

“You’re Cersei fucking Lannister. There isn’t one single guy at this pretentious little shitty college who isn’t interested in you” 

At that, Cersei shrugged, her eyebrows accompanying the movement of her shoulders. Was it a hurt pride that she was seeing there, hidden behind the _I-don't-give-a-fuck_ expression? “Well, it seems this one, isn’t”

“So, that’s it?” 

“Cersei Lannister does not beg.” Cersei’s sudden dignified voice claimed.

Lyanna could see through her act, and knew she would never admit that her pride had been simply wounded by a guy. If she knew Cersei well enough, she knew what she would do next: Probably hang out with some pretty, brainless dude, in order to maintain appearances, and heal her own pride in hollow flatteries that would inflate her ego once again. “You know you can just admit you’re disappointed, right?” Cersei narrowed her eyes at her after that. But that was just a confirmation of the truth.

And just in time, and to spare Lyanna one of Cersei’s denial's speeches, Melara Hetherspoon walked into them, carrying some sort of oddly satisfied grin upon her face. 

At the moment, Melara gave Lyanna a short look before turning to Cersei.  _What the fuck?_

“Cersei. I need to talk to you” 

“What is it?” Cersei was, apparently, in a bad mood.  

“In private”

Cersei, not at all shy about her crankiness, rolled her eyes before getting up from her spot, and walking next to Melara.  

And as she saw the two of them going to a corner, in order to discuss, probably petty gossip, she caught a glimpse of Ashara Dayne near her. 

Perhaps, she could know why did her brother lost interest so abruptly in Cersei.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She met him that night, outside her house. 

A part of her wanted to just be mad at him, while the other part was trying to convince the angry one that it was not a good idea, that she knew what she got into when she did, and now she could not just demand. 

However, Lyanna knew something was wrong from the moment in which she saw his face.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Elia’s brother is sick. He’s getting worse, he almost died a few days ago”

For a moment, everything stopped. She could see and understand how that, had just changed everything. And who could blame him, truly. 

Still, the realization made her stomach turn. 

“And you have to support her” perhaps, she said it out loud for herself, and not so much for Rhaegar. 

In the driver’s seat, he shifted, and took one of her hands in his. She simply gazed down. 

“Believe me when I say that there is nothing I want more than to be with you right now. But I can’t just… _Dump_ her, not now. Her brother could die. This is the last thing she needs”

Lyanna tried to ignore the lump forming in her throat, however it proved to be ineffective. What was she thinking anyway? She told herself from the beginning, over and over, that she shouldn’t have any kind of emotional involvement. Of course, that ship had sailed a long time ago, and she was stupid, but stupid enough to deny it. At least not to herself. 

Rhaegar’s handsome face carried a somber grimace then, as if his next words were burning his tongue. “I will understand, if you no longer want this, if you don’t want to wait anymore. It’s only fair. But you should know, Lyanna… I do love you”

The confession struck her like a bus, and she felt her jaw dropping slightly. 

The one thing she was terrified of: love. And there he was, openly claiming to love her, as if in some kind of ridiculous suicidal mission. _Love_ her? What did he know about love? She never felt it before, but she knew that everyone who ever fell ‘in love’ ended up being screwed. And not in the ‘nice’ way. 

She? She did not love him. She could not. What she felt for him, was only some kind of emotional attachment that was _definitely not love._ Attraction. Yes, that was it, it could not be something more. 

Lyanna cleared her throat, and she suddenly remembered he was waiting for an answer. “I need to think about this. This is… Unexpected. I just…. I need to think” 

She knew her words were barely even making sense in that very moment. At least in her head, they didn’t make any sense. But that was probably just because of the messy thoughts she was having, one after another, non stop. 

From his part, he looked like he was waiting for her to say something more, licking his lips and still holding her hand in his. 

She had a choice to make, a surprisingly hard one. But there was something else to think about, and trying to ignore it, would be like trying to ignore a fucking giant pink elephant dancing in a room. _Impossible._

Why did he have to say it? That he loved her. Why?

And most importantly... Did she?


	20. Drunken Truths

Lyanna told herself from the very beginning she would not let herself be dragged into a mess of useless emotions. Turned out, it was too late. She was all in, and utterly screwed. _Not for long._

Of course that the sudden realization didn’t just appear out of nowhere. It was made clear the moment in which she saw Elia giving Rhaegar a soft, lingering kiss. It made her stomach turn, and she felt sick. Even when after that painful kiss, he simply smiled at Elia, quickly, and then looked away. He was uncomfortable, she could tell. 

Why was Elia at that reunion in Robert’s house anyway? Didn’t she hate the drugs and alcohol and… Fun? And wasn’t her brother ill? Jealousy was a shitty thing to feel. At least it made _her_ feel shitty. 

But it didn’t matter. She had already decided what she would do. For her own good, and for _his_ own good too. She had to leave him, she simply had to. And fuck, it was going to be hard. But she needed to get out of that emotional mess she got herself into, because after all, she wasn’t ready for it. She wasn’t ready for something like _love._

“Cersei is not happy” Melara pointed out, making her painful, torturous thoughts go away if only for a moment. Amusement draw the line of Melara’s mid smile. She was actually enjoying it. 

Cersei looked pretty much like the lion on her family’s heraldic shield after talking to a purposefully drunk Ashara. To get her drunk in order to make her loose her tongue was smart. But given the blonde’s reaction to whatever she had to say, Lyanna could tell things were about to get messy, if they already weren’t.

“What the fuck happened?” Lyanna lifted an eyebrow when Cersei almost kicked a girl out of her way. 

“That _bitch_ ” Lyanna was sure, she had never heard such a spiteful tone before in her whole life. It didn’t take her long to follow the direction in which Cersei’s emerald green eyes were throwing daggers at. Elia Martell. 

“Wha-“

“That constipated, conceited little bitch. She said all kind of shit about me to Arthur. Apparently, I’m a whore” 

Cersei could simply boil in her own rage. She was angry. Extremely angry. It wasn’t only about Arthur, but about the fact that someone dared to speak ill of her, and label her as an ordinary ‘slut’. It was a pride thing.

“Ah… Maybe you should just calm down, you know” Lyanna suggested, when Cersei’s body language suggested she could just go there and grab Elia Martell by the hair, and drag her all around. 

Cersei’s lips formed a silent ‘O’ then. “Oh, really? I’m glad you’re not angry then, since she also said you are a whore too”

Lyanna then directed her gaze to Elia. _What the actual fuck?_ Did she even know her? 

Granted, she _was_ sleeping with her boyfriend. Did that make her a whore? _Shit._ Did she know? No, it could not be. No fucking way. If she was aware of the situation between her and Rhaegar, she wouldn’t just be there, fluttering around him like a fucking love butterfly. And a part of her felt slightly disappointed when quickly discarding the idea. 

“Oh, but she is going to regret this. That self-important little idiot.”

Lyanna, gazing once again towards the dornish girl, then asked: “What are you going to do, Cersei?” 

“You’ll see.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ashara got drunk, and Elia went to take care of her. 

And as soon as Elia left, his first impulse was to search for Lyanna. 

The waiting was killing him, never before in his life did he feel like that. It had been days, and she still didn’t have an answer for him. 

If she wanted to stay away, to leave him… He would not complain. He deserved it. If things were different… If only things were different. But they were not, and she had two choices. Either she would leave him, or she would wait for him. His selfish part wanted her to stay with him so badly, wanted things with Elia to end soon. But his better part knew it was not fair, and that she did not deserve to be kept as a 'secret' for any amount of time, no matter how small. 

If only she could tell him something, anything. But she just kept avoiding him. 

His sight was fixed on her then. There she was, looking just as stunningly beautiful as always, stealing gazes from all around, in a freaking tiny black dress. It made him feel ridiculously jealous. And slightly dizzy too. Apparently, the big amount of alcohol he consumed was already kicking in. 

Still, he decided to go and talk to her. It had been days after all, and he was dying to at least hear her voice, or maybe even steal a kiss or two. At that point, he didn’t even care if people saw them. Doubtlessly, the alcohol made it’s effect. 

“What are you looking at, cousin’?” Robert had somehow just popped out of nowhere. Or at least so it seemed, since his senses were disperse but at the same time only focused on her.

“She’s way too hot, ain’t she?” Robert grinned then, the kind of grin he did not particularly like when directed to Lyanna by another man. But in Rhaegar’s mind, Robert was already lying on the floor with a broken nose and a few broken teeth to match that. 

And Robert kept talking, thankfully, about other matters, because otherwise, he didn’t know if he’d be able not to punch him on the face. 

And he kept talking bullshit he did not even hear.

When he looked over to her again, Lyanna’s silhouette faded. She left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short. Sorry about that.


	21. They

He was waiting for her outside of her house, just like he did other times before. Except that this time, it was different. The tension was eating him alive, more than anything, because he had that feeling that she would just fade away and leave him with nothing. It felt like trying to catch smoke with his own hands. Frustrating, and impossible. 

Her thin silhouette made it’s way to the car. It was pouring outside, and her little face carried the cold drops beautifully upon her skin. 

Rhaegar leaned in, kissing her without a single word, tasting the cold little droplets resting on her lips. She kissed him back, needy, maybe even pained. Or at least so he thought. Something was off, and he knew that even before she got in. 

Lyanna put a hand on his chest, not really pushing him away, but the motion was enough for him to know that that was what she wanted. She wanted him to stop. 

And he simply looked at her, wondering how was he going to bear without her. 

“I won’t do this” her voice came out husky, almost as a whisper. It was enough to make his heart freeze. 

She pulled away from him then, her wide, grey eyes staring at him for only half a second before they went down to her own, fidgeting hands. She wouldn’t even look at him. He deserved it, didn’t he?

It was the obvious choice, and yet… It felt like a spear piercing through his chest. How was he supposed to let her go? 

For the first time in his life, he heard himself struggling to actually say a single word. Yet, nothing came out. 

Without another word, Lyanna opened the door, and left in a hurried pace. 

As a reflex, or whatever it was what he was thinking, he stepped out of the car too, ignoring the merciless rain outside that ended up soaking him completely. Only after he took two hurried steps forward in her direction, he realized what he was doing. And how useless it would be. And how he was supposed to respect her decision.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She ran all the way up to her room, ignoring the cold, ignoring the shocked stare her father gave her when she passed him as a lightning, ignoring his voice calling her even after she closed the door of her room, ignoring how soaked her clothes actually were. 

It all meant nothing. 

“Lyanna!” she heard him shout from the other side. “What on earth were you doing outside at this time, and with this storm?! Have you lost your mind?” 

She fell to her knees, her back pushed against the door, as she let soft, almost inaudible sobs out. Why did it hurt so badly?

The difference between rain drops, and tear drops, she discovered, was that the first ones felt cold against her skin. The second ones were warm and painful and were everything she could do to release her pain. 

“Lyanna” her father insisted on the other side. 

She got up then, wiping the tears off with her sleeve, taking a deep breath if only to control herself for a few seconds.

Her father was there, expecting for an explanation when she opened the door. Behind him, Ned was looking at her with a suspicion dancing in his grey eyes. 

The knot on her throat was still there, but she tried to sound as convincing as she could anyway. “Cersei passed by, and I went out to give her bracelet back.”

Her father gave her a long look. Maybe he was deciding wether to believe her or not. At that point, she couldn’t care less. She only wanted to be left alone. “Well, next time, take an umbrella with you” he sighed, throwing his hands in the air helplessly before leaving. 

He left. Good. Because she didn’t think she could hold her tears back any longer. 

“Are you okay?” Ned’s soft voice asked, and it was enough for hell to break loose. One warm tear after another. “What did he do?” he scowled, as if he were ready to defend her honor in some brotherly way. His tone was threatening. 

She put her arms around him, and let him hug her back. “I left him, Ned” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

“You look like shit” Cersei offered, her face showing how terrible she really thought she looked.  

Lyanna ignored the comment, resting her back against the wall. 

Waiting for their car to pick them up from school, she simply kept quiet and tried not to drown in her own fucking misery. “Wow. You’re moody. What is going on?”

“Just leave it, please” Lyanna deadpanned and closed her eyes, feeling the chilly air pushing into her dark locks when a cold breeze went through them. 

Cersei didn’t bring another word on the subject, Lyanna thankfully realized. But the confusion in her stare was telling, and she knew the blonde wouldn’t just drop the subject. She would attack her with questions again, she knew. 

All she truly wanted to do, was to just forget about it, about all of it, and just be herself again. The whole task proved to be rather difficult -not to say impossible-, when she had to face his gorgeous indigo eyes that morning in the hallways, in the yard… And they seemed to follow her, haunting her with the burning sadness that veiled them. 

He would be her end if she didn't control herself.

The sound of her phone buzzing in the pocket of her coat distracted her then, if only for a second. And it might have been her imagination, but at the same time, several phones, from the people around her, also made their sound. 

“Holy shit” she heard from one of the students, who instantly directed her shocked gaze to her.

It wasn’t long before the rest of the students standing in that hallway mimicked her actions, and Lyanna found herself being the center of attention at that very moment. 

_What the…_

She took her phone, and there was a message, from an unknown number. With an image attached. 

_‘Poor Elia. Even chivalrous, perfect Rhaegar is bored of her, and finding his fun somewhere else’_

And then, there it was. Lyanna, kissing him back in the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So I know the end of this chapter was very gossip girl like xD but trust me, that was NOT the intention, AT ALL. But it was the only way for everyone to find out in the most humiliating way... And yes, DRAMA. 
> 
> If you find any mistake or whatever, let me know, because I'm currently too lazy to re-read this right now :3


	22. Hidden Truths

“You _fucking_ tosser” Were Elia’s word, before she mercilessly emptied the bottle of cold water she held upon his head. 

He should’ve known, from the moment in which he saw her approaching him, with those vividly ireful eyes, and her hurried pace, that something was wrong. Elia was not like that. But if he thought about it, in that moment, she looked like she could stab him a thousand times without any regret. 

However, there he was, soaked wet, with the demand for an explanation in the tip of his tongue. Although, he suspected Elia was the one about to demand an explanation. Just a hunch, perhaps. “Elia -what the hell?” Rhaegar somehow managed to say, glancing at her in confusion, still not sure of what had just happened. It was a good thing though, that only he and Arthur remained there, in the changing rooms of the gym. 

Elia gave him a bitter little smile, and an indignation snort that went just fine with the stirrings of anger, the sort that told him that he should know better than her. And in the middle of his confusion… _No_. Connecting the dots was not so hard, specially when one had been waiting for a terrible thing to be discovered one way or another. A guilty mind.

“I never expected something like this. From you, of all people!” she was altered, that much was obvious, for she did not care one bit that Arthur was standing near them, looking at them with wide eyes and his jaw on the floor. And he… He lost his speech ability, his tongue froze in his mouth. “Do you think me boring? Do you think me dull? You could’ve just said so, so you could just go and… How was it written? Oh, yes. Find your fun freely somewhere else, without the burden of me” she spat every word she said, brown eyes glancing at him with the sharpness of a blade against his throat. 

Behind the hate, and the anger, he could also see how hurt she really was. Or, if he had to put it in a realistic way, how much he hurt her. “I never thought you dull or boring, Elia, I just-“

Elia threw her hands in the air helplessly before cutting his sentence “You must have, Rhaegar. That’s why you had to go behind my back to fuck around with Lyanna Stark? Gods, you even had the audacity to defend her on the same day that picture was taken.” she angrily accused, her hands fisted at her sides.  

“Is not like that” he tried to explain, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. It was a mess, all of it. A bloody mess. But how was he supposed to explain that to Elia? How was he supposed to explain that to her, without hurting her even more? He never planned for it to happen, he never wanted that to happen. It just did. “I didn’t mean for this to happen, Elia… It just did“

 “Oh, spare me the speech, will you?” her voice went higher then, giving her nervousness away, trembling at the end. He had never seen Elia in such a state, never saw her rising her voice to anyone. But this Elia, she seemed to want to burn him alive and feed his remains to the dogs. 

“I didn’t want to hurt you, I swear. And I know these words are of no use, but-” 

“Just shut up.” she demanded, and he did as he was told. It was useless. There was not a thing that he could say that would make her feel better. 

Elia closed her eyes, and took a deep breath in. It pained him, to see her like that. “And don’t you dare speak to me again. At least respect what I’m asking, since you were not capable of respecting me, or our relationship” she said a tad bit more calmed, as she took a few steps backwards. 

Soon after, she turned around and left without another glance in his direction. 

Everything had just went to hell. The one thing he did not want, it happened. He hurt her, in the worst way. 

“You should see this, Rhaegar” for a moment, he forgot about Arthur, standing there next to him. 

His friend passed him his cellphone, and he took it, still confused from everything that had just happened. 

But what he saw, he didn’t expect. He did not only hurt her in the worst way, but she also found out in the worst way. Someone made sure of it. 

At the moment, he felt like the biggest scumbag that ever existed. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I can’t believe this” Lyanna murmured, her eyes still fixed on the picture. 

It made her heart stir and stop and stir again in her chest. And when she thought about everything that happened, it made her chest ache. Why did something like that had to happen? She had decided to leave him, to just end things. She wanted to just forget that it ever happened, forget that she ever felt that way about him… But how was she going to forget now that the entire college knew about them. 

Did he see it already? Everyone else did, that much was clear. Did he blame her? What was he thinking? Did he hate her?

Lyanna sighed. She was screwed. She was already screwed before, when she got hooked, when she developed stupid feelings for him. But now she was even more screwed. How would she forget about it all, when _that_ would be the only subject to talk about in that damned place for a long time? “Who the hell would do something like this?” the question was thrown in the air, it wasn’t like the person who did it would actually answer her. 

Cersei, next to her, was looking at her with wide eyes. Yet, she did not seem surprised, but rather conflicted. Did she hate her too? If Rhaegar hated her, it would hurt like hell. And if Cersei hated her… 

The blonde opened her mouth, as if she were ready to say something, anything… But she remained quiet, pressing her lips together once again. 

Lyanna rested her head against the wall, a hand on her forehead. Her body was there, but her mind was somewhere else. If she could only know what was happening with him at the moment, what he was thinking. 

They whispered, all of them, those around her. She felt her head exploding. “This is bad. This is really, fucking…” 

“This _isn’t_ so bad. I’m sure Elia will step aside now that the truth is out” had Cersei suddenly gone mad? Or did her brain just have a glitch? What the hell was she talking about? 

In any case, fuck it, if someone could slap her, it’d be great, for she was already losing her mind. _Fuck me._

Lyanna recovered her posture, if only to look at her friend with incredulous eyes. “Can’t you see how fucked up this is?” 

The blonde frowned. What was Cersei thinking? How could _that_ not be so bad? 

Only then, Lyanna noticed something. “Cersei…” Lyanna was afraid of asking, having already suspected the answer. She was going insane, of course. “Did you know?” Lyanna had to take a deep breath in. In front of her, Cersei had gone mute, parted lips producing no sound at all. “I know this is impossible… But… Did you have something to do with all of this?”

_Please, say no. Please, please._

It was unconceivable, to think that her best friend had something to do with something like that. And yet, Cersei did not give her an answer, and was blankly staring at her with wide eyes. “Say something, for fuck’s sake!”

“Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous” she finally defended herself, to Lyanna’s relief. 

For a moment, she felt scared. Scared of finding out that her best friend was the one who plotted all of that madness against her. What was she thinking? It must have been the shock, the confusion growing in her head. It all made her feel dizzy, mixing ideas.

And when one problem faded, the old one returned. What was going to happen? Rhaegar could surely not think that it was her, the one behind that shit. Could he? 

Did he hate her?

She had to find the one responsible for it. She didn't want to fall even more in love with him, Gods no, but she didn't want him to hate her either. And how stupid it was of her, not to want him to hate her. At least that way it would be easier to stay away from him. It scared her to death to think of how weak she truly was whenever she was around him. She hated feeling weak.  

Lyanna sighed once more. Thankfully, the car was already waiting to take her home. She could not bear another minute in that place. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> couldn't sleep, and decided to write this...


	23. A Part of Me

"Frankly, I don’t understand you” Cersei tried to suppress a yawn, unsuccessful in her effort. Lyanna could not believe they were having _that_ talk, _again._ Yet, the blonde insisted upon the matter, and Lyanna would only blame Cersei’s mind, that often worked as an acute lie detector, which often leaded her to repeat the subjects over and over and over until her ‘victim’ somehow cracked. “We both know you have feelings for him. At least I know… Why else would you do all of the things you did? It never happened before. I know that”

Lyanna felt her cheeks burning red. She could keep lying to Cersei, of course. Eventually, and with the precise amount of denial, she would have to drop it. But at two in the morning, and with a heavy head already, she hadn’t the energy. And she suspected, Cersei would not leave until she was satisfied. 

It wasn’t like Cersei was wrong anyway.

“Well…” Lyanna sighed, preparing herself for what was to come. She would say it once, and once only, and only to Cersei. Because otherwise, if she talked about it…  “I do. I do have these stupid feelings for him. Satisfied?” 

“Hardly” Cersei gave her a bored gaze “I don’t get it. Seriously.” and there she was going again. “He’s alone now. Go after him if you want him. You better than anyone know that I wouldn’t say this to anyone but you, I mean, he’s gorgeous, and smart and… You’re an idiot” Cersei rolled her eyes. 

“What’s wrong with not wanting to lose your head over somebody? I just… I’m not ready for something like that” Whenever he was around, she felt vulnerable, as if she could just easily lose herself, and she was terrified of it. 

“You can be very much a chicken, did you know? I didn’t. Anyway…” Cersei stretched her legs from the couch, and put her feet back on the floor. “I should get going now. I think I need a rest after listening to your denial for like two hours” 

“Finally.” Lyanna grinned. A part of her was relieved, that the interrogation had finally ended. 

And as she accompanied Cersei to the front door, her mind wandered exactly where she didn’t want it to go. 

What was _he_ thinking? They didn’t speak. He didn’t even try to talk to her, after the mess with the picture and the texting. He was probably busy trying to solve things with Elia. Or not. Or maybe he was just pissed at her. Or maybe he was pissed at himself. She knew she was pissed at herself. It was so confusing.

And oh, she was so busy, thinking of things she shouldn’t, that she almost ignored the silhouette walking down the stairs. At that time in the night, and with such a delicate figure, that was certainly not Ned. When she found the woman right in front of her, she jerked back in surprise. 

“Oh. Lyanna” Sybell put a hand upon her chest, her expression just as surprised as hers. For a moment, Lyanna felt silly, since her heart was still beating fast. 

She was with her hair down and wearing a silk robe no less. Did she move or something? What was that woman doing there? Her father wasn’t even home, he travelled for two days on business, he was supposed to be at home tomorrow.

And yet, there she was, wandering around the house at two in the morning.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” she explained gently “I just came down for a glass of water” Sybell offered her a smile, one that Lyanna could not return.  

“Why are you here?” she heard herself asking, sounding perhaps even rude to the woman. It wasn’t her intention, truly, but she was intrigued. 

Sybell blinked a few times before giving her an answer. “Your father asked me to stay and see if you needed anything” 

In other words: he wanted someone to make sure they didn’t make a mess. No. To make sure _she_ didn’t make a mess. As if Ned or Benjen could have the capacity. “Oh” 

Having nothing else to say, Lyanna decided to just drop the issue, and drag herself to her room to sleep. If she wanted to try and scold her for staying up until so late, with a friend, no less, she would’ve done it already. 

“Good night, Lyanna”

One thing she found about Sybell in their limited time together, and that she actually liked… She didn’t hover. 

Lyanna turned and gave her a look. “Good night, Sybell” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At college, it felt as if the whole world was watching her. Well, if not the whole world, at least the whole bloody student body. Ever since that picture was sent, things were… Different. 

She didn’t care about the curious stares, or about the hushed whispers hovering around her like flies. They could all go to hell, for all she cared. Including the poor idiots who would try to hit on her, since they all believed her ‘heartbroken’ because of what happened. Idiots. 

That day, once again, she didn’t find Elia. And she felt relieved. However, she would have to see her face any day, and she knew it would not be a pleasant encounter. 

Rhaegar skipped college too. Two days. And she wasn’t brave enough to call him, or at least text him. They wouldn’t be together, but they could still talk, right? Or perhaps not. Would it be wise? What if she didn’t like what he had to say? What if he had nothing to say? 

And so the day passed, with her eyes lost somewhere outside the windows, and the sound of the teachers’ voices in the back of her mind. 

She could not focus on anything, and anxiousness was eating her alive. That much was clear, for she could not stop fidgeting, and Cersei would not stop pointing it out. ‘S _top fidgeting, you’re making me nervous’_

And it seemed as if things would just continue that way, with her fidgeting and her incapacity to focus. At least until a bell rang, announcing that it was time to change classes. 

Lyanna grabbed her things, and crossed the door threshold. A hand on her arm, and the sound of a voice calling her name, made her stop.  It was him. “Lya”

She froze, if only for a fraction of second. Oh Gods, it was as if she had summoned him with her thoughts. He was there, looking at her with those piercing indigo eyes, a thing veil of sadness upon them. 

“You came” she licked her lips, her breathing stopped for a moment, and she had to make herself remember to close her mouth.  Aware of the curious gazes upon them, she continued, all while being dragged away to a corner by him “You were gone” she pointed out, still enjoying the way in which his hand held hers. 

“I had some things to solve” he said as he let her hand go, and put it in his pocket.

“I can imagine. Elia’s probably really pissed”

At that, his eyebrows lifted for only a moment. A resignation gesture, she supposed. “Yes. She left, she went back to Dorne.” She left? She was truly pissed then, and the selfish part of her was pleased with her departure. Yet, whenever she thought of what she was probably going through, her chest felt slightly tighter. It was as if, subconsciously, she was punishing herself for that hint of selfish happiness.

“I’m sorry about that” she bit her lower lip, not really knowing what to say next “And the picture…”

He gave her some kind of resigned smile then, and shook his head slightly “It wasn’t your fault” The curious thing was, after that, he looked anxious. At least a little bit. Or was she imagining it, projecting herself maybe? “Listen, Lyanna…" Rhaegar licked his lips, a small snort leaving his lips "Everything I told you before… I still want those things. I still want _you_ ” 

Once again that morning, he held her hand, his skin was warm and gentle against hers, and the feeling of his touch accompanying those words made her tremble. “I want to be with you. Do you want the same?” How could he sound so sure? How?

 _Oh no._ She wanted that too, of course she did. She wanted to be with him so badly. But her mind always ended up taking her somewhere else, maybe even playing dirty tricks on her.

Looking at him, at his beautiful eyes and his handsome smile, it always seemed as if things could be different. Better. As if she could truly be happy by his side. It felt that way.

But fear always took the best of her, and in the end, the happy fragments of her imagination, ended up clouded by the memories and experiences she witnessed before. Her parents’ fights, every guy her friends met at some point, and ended up hurting them as if they were nothing. It seemed to her, that whenever people thought they were happy, at some point, their happiness turned into ash in their mouths.

The vulnerability she felt whenever he was around scared her. She would lose herself, and she didn't want to.

What if Elia returned? Or what if he decided after a short time, that after all, he did not want her? What if he too turned into ash?

“I…” she stuttered. A part of her wanted him to stay with her, to tell him how badly she wanted him too. But part of her also wanted him to just go away and leave her alone. She bit her lip once again. “I don’t know. I’m not sure, Rhaegar” 

Lyanna looked down to her feet, because if she looked at him, she could just crumble. “I want to be alone. Just... Leave me alone. I’m sorry” she said as she took a few steps backwards. 

She walked as fast as she could, trying not to look back, shutting her eyes tightly for a moment, stopping for air. That little ache in her chest. It was so annoying… But it wouldn’t make her cry. Of course not.

“Lyanna” the sound of another voice, made her open her eyes. 

The hallways were empty. Rhaegar was gone. He did as she told him. 

“I think there’s something you would like to know” it was Melara, the one speaking. She barely even caught her words, for her head was spinning. 

What could she possibly tell her that would interest her? 

Looking once again for Rhaegar around her with her gaze, and failing in her search, she focused on Melara, putting the earned disappointment somewhere in the back of her head. Or at least trying. “What is it?” 

“Would you like to know who sent the picture?” 

Lyanna held her breath. 

 


	24. Hell

The question had been torturing her for days. She would gladly drop it, and make as if Melara never told her such nonsense. 

However, the subject kept disturbing her mind, and along with the uneasiness of dealing with the whole issue of her feelings for Rhaegar, well… It felt like hell. Fucking, burning hell. 

And on that particular night, the issue was still present, distracting her from the world around her, no matter how loud the music was, or how many people were dancing near her, or how many drinks she had. It just wouldn’t go away. 

Rhaegar was there. Damn him. Damn him and the way in which he looked at her, and the way in which he seemed to want to approach and just… Damn him, and his craving eyes. 

Why did he have to be like that? Why did he have to say the things he said and make her feel like she could just lose herself? She had to push him out of her mind, before it was too late. 

“Fuck’s sake, just go and talk to him, if you don’t, he’s going to do it anyway” Cersei rolled her eyes at her, drink in hand, narrowed green eyes staring at her with boredom after. It was as if she could just read exactly what was going through her mind. And it sucked. 

“Shut up” 

“It surprises me, really, how open and fearless you can be about pretty much everything, but when it comes to romantic bullshit, you just run and hide” the blonde denied with her head, looking around her for a moment. 

“Drop it, Cersei” 

Cersei shrugged, and began dancing again. But Lyanna didn’t need to be a mind reader to know about the blonde’s disapproval.  

If she had to think about it, it seemed ridiculous, that Cersei would do such a vile thing to her. What Melara said. Melara was hallucinating, or was simply a scheming bitch. What was her problem? Perhaps, it was time to face at least one of her issues, and to just end it. She would have to tell Cersei. Wait wasn’t like anything Melara said could possibly be true anyway, and if she was talking bullshit behind her back, she had to know. “Cersei… There’s something I need to tell you.” she said as clearly as she could as she leaned in for her friend to be able to listen to her “About Melara.” 

The blonde gave her a slightly confused look. “What about her?” 

“She told me something crazy last week. About you. She didn’t even want me to tell you it was her. Imagine that.” at that point, Lyanna was almost shouting, but the music was too loud, and her friend could barely even hear her. 

“What? Me? What the hell did she say?” Cersei sounded almost shrill, her arched eyebrows frowning. 

Oh, she was not going to like what she had to say. For a brief, fleeting moment, Lyanna considered shutting her mouth and just let things be. But then again, Cersei was her best friend, and Melara was Cersei’s ‘friend’.

 _Fuck it._ “That you were the one who sent the picture, you know, of Rhaegar and me…” she paused for a moment, licking her lips before continuing “I know it’s ridiculous, I mean, don’t worry” 

Darkness and neon lights could not hide the startled expression upon the blonde’s beautiful face, her jaw dropping if only a little, or at least, that much Lyanna could tell in such a dark enviroment. “She said that?” the blonde chocked. She looked rather shocked. 

“She did.” all the screaming would end up leaving her voice hoarse, she knew “But I know is not true”

What came up next, Lyanna did not expect, not even in her craziest nightmares. “I did it” Cersei confessed, scowl upon her face, no trace of amusement, as if she was just playing a prank to her. None of it. For a single moment, Lyanna thought her brain could be melting, for the whole thing seemed impossible to understand, the pieces not quite falling in place. “What?” she was sure she said that loud enough for the people around her to listen to her too. 

“It was me. I did it. But I swear, I didn’t mean any harm to you, I swear, Lyanna” Cersei grabbed her wrist, her pouty lips were then pressed into a paper thin line, expecting for an answer. 

But she, realizing what she just heard, managed to get herself free from the blonde’s hold. She did not see that coming. It was shocking, and awful… But she could already feel her angry blood boiling. “What the fuck?! Why would you do that?”

“Listen, I just-“ Cersei tried to argument something in her favor, but Lyanna, finding the whole matter simply inexcusable, didn’t let her. “No. For fuck’s sake! And you didn’t want to hurt me? Well I am sorry, but I don’t see how those two ideas can go hand in hand, you know” at that point, more than one probably realized what was happening with the two of them. But they could all go to hell. 

“It wasn’t meant to hurt _you_ , Lyanna! I did it to get back at Elia for what she told Arthur! She’s a bitch”

“Oh!” Lyanna threw her hands in the air helplessly “I get it, she’s a bitch, and I get to pay the consequences? Great. It makes perfect sense, Cersei” she was smiling, but it was a sour smile, one born out of disbelief. Because, truly, she could not believe what she was hearing. Wasn’t the blonde supposed to just apologize for the shitty thing she did, instead of trying to excuse herself?

Cersei, however, put the regret in the back of her mind, apparently, and hissed next: “What the hell are you complaining about? I did you a favor! Elia dumped Rhaegar, wasn’t that what you wanted?”

Disbelief, indeed. What did _she_ even know about her feelings for Rhaegar? Nothing. She knew fucking nothing, and yet, there she was, excusing herself and hiding behind poor arguments to try and justify just how shitty her friendship could be. 

“Oh, and you did it to help me get him, right? And no, is not what I fucking wanted. Are you mental? I can’t believe you”

She had had enough. With one last stare, Lyanna walked by Cersei, leaving the blonde alone. Or at least, attempting to, for Cersei grabbed her arm, impeding her to leave momentarily. “Don’t!” Lyanna hissed, before she pulled her arm out of Cersei’s hold. And that, was enough for the Lannister heir to understand. She let go.

“Lyanna, why do you care? Is not like you ever cared about Elia”

“Do you think this is about Elia? Or Rhaegar’s relationship? It’s about me. _Me_. I don’t give a single fuck about people’s opinion… But it amazes me, how easily you can just do things like this for your own purposes, running over everything and everyone in your way. And you have the guts to tell me that you did me a favor?” Cersei froze, her pink lips parted, as if she wanted to say something, anything, but the words simply did not come out “Just stay away. Seriously, Cersei. I cannot trust you anymore” 

With nothing more to say, Lyanna left, disappeared from the blonde’s sight. That was what she wanted after all, to just disappear. If she could not even trust Cersei, then who could she trust? Nobody. Her brothers, they were the only ones who came to her mind. But it was different. 

Cersei was her best friend. She could tell her everything. Or at least, so she thought. How could someone so close to one just betray the trust like that? Lyanna wondered while ordering another drink. As soon as the cup was filled, she drank more than half of its content. 

How could her night possibly worsen? She was about to see. 

“You don’t look so happy, little Stark” 

Robert Baratheon was never shy. His handsome grin was filled with confidence, and his deep, blue eyes seemed to want to swallow her and drown her in their depth. Was that his technique? To just grin handsomely, and give an intense stare to his prey, until they gave in? It was a good one, at least for someone with his face. 

Sadly, it wasn’t quite working with her. His eyes were not indigo, they were blue, after all.  

“How about we dance?” he offered, the smirk never leaving his face. 

She would say yes. If she were her regular self. She knew what he wanted, she couldn’t care less. But this stranger she had become, the one that yearned for someone else’s presence, the one that could simply melt with one indigo look, that stranger… Didn’t want to. 

And perhaps, that was why she had to do it. To be the old Lyanna once again. The one that simply didn’t give a fuck about anything or anyone. 

Emptying her cup, perhaps too fast, she took his hand, and followed his lead. 

The alcohol was already doing it’s thing, and she was already feeling dizzy. But it was good. It gave her a lack of notion, some sort of lightness that she was enjoying, even when she felt his hands on her hips. 

She didn’t like it, but she didn’t care. Right? 

And as Robert pulled her closer and closer, and was already with his face buried in the crook of her neck, she saw _him._

 _Rhaegar._ He was standing far from them, but he was watching. He looked like he could just stride all the way from his place to where they were, and kill Robert. Only then, she noticed Arthur Dayne, with a hand upon his friend’s shoulder, probably using more force than he should.

However, such a sight did not last long, for Robert grabbed her face, and pushed his lips into hers. His kiss was demanding, gruff even, his eyes were closed, but hers were not. She was feeling high, doubtlessly. But the alcohol was to blame… Robert’s kiss? Nothing. Absolutely _nothing._

Did she want it? No. Not really. 

He _was_ a good kisser, though. Why couldn’t she just enjoy like she used to do before, with other guys?

At some point, she must’ve probably stopped, because Robert pulled away, with a scowl on his face. “You didn’t like it?” he asked, his grip still firm on her hips. He smelled like cigarettes and alcohol. She probably did too.

Lyanna blinked a few times. Did she like it? No. But she did not feel disgusted either. She felt indifference, that was all. 

She looked to the side. He was still watching. And his eyes, Rhaegar’s eyes, were burning her with unveiled, wild rage. She caught the exact moment in which Arthur Dayne held his arm, stopping him from taking a step forward, saying something next, that made him stay in his place. 

Maybe it was better that way. Maybe that was what she had to do. Because otherwise, Rhaegar would end up consuming her. Something Robert would never cause on her, she was sure, specially after that kiss.

Robert would never make her feel vulnerable like Rhaegar did. She would never be able to lose herself to him, like she did with Rhaegar.

With determination, she put her hands on the back of Robert’s neck, and pulled him to her, kissing him just with the same fierceness he did with her before. There was the lack of feelings, of course. But she knew how to kiss, and that was enough. Like following the steps on a manual, she guessed as she let his tongue in. 

She felt in control, and safe, and it did not produce a single thing within her. 

 Robert deepened the kiss, his embrace was tight, suffocating, his lips were demanding, too demanding.  

And it would’ve continued that way, were it not for someone pulling her away from him with unmeasured strength. 

Lyanna gave a chocked breath, and tried to balance herself not to fall, except she ended up leaning against Rhaegar’s strong chest.

He did not look like himself, the hold on her wrists was almost painful, his ireful eyes storming into hers with more than one question in them. She never saw him like that. Ever. “What the fuck are you doing?” he asked dangerously, his jaw clenched tightly.  

Her heart was racing in her chest, Robert’s taste of cigarettes still on her mouth. She tried to free herself from his hold, but she found it was impossible when he did not move an inch. 

He would hate her. He would hate her, he would not dare to look for her anymore after what she was about to do. And she had to press her lips tightly together in order to prevent the tears, those damn, stubborn tears that were threatening her to peek out. She would have to suck it up. “What do you think? Let me go. I told you: I _don’t_ want to be with you”  

At that, his hold loosened, but her chest, the pressure on it tightened. Her breathing was coming out ragged, and oh, she was regretting it already.

“Let her go, Rhaegar” Robert’s booming voice demanded behind her. Robert. She had completely forgotten about him. 

Rhaegar dropped her wrists, and his sight was no longer focused on her, but on his cousin. “You stay out of it, Robert” he hissed. If anything, he looked even angrier than before.

The fool, however, took another step forward, puffing his chest in some kind of ridiculous ‘manly’ gesture. “She’s with me” Robert insisted “Now fuck off”

From the corner of her eye, Lyanna saw Arthur making a move. But she did not quite understand, until it was too late.

Rhaegar threw himself at Robert, his fist landing against his face, causing Robert to fall to the ground, a thin, bloody line coming out of his mouth.

And it wasn’t long before Robert got on his feet, and punched Rhaegar back, with the same intensity.  

It was a mess. A bloody mess. People were gathering around them. “Stop!” she shouted at the two men on the floor, making a spectacle in the middle of the party.

It wasn’t long before Arthur Dayne intervened, along with some other guy she did not recognize. Arthur was holding Rhaegar, and the other guy, Robert. However, no matter how big Arthur and the other guy were, they were still having troubles holding those two back.

“Stop it. Rhaegar!” Arthur was still fighting to keep him in his place. “She’s with him, man. Let her, for fuck’s sake…” Arthur whispered something else in his ear, something she could not hear. And that, seemed to calm the him down. 

Those eyes, those dark, indigo eyes she’d been thinking about all night long, landed on her. But not as she imagined them, not as they used to do. They were cold, icy cold. It certainly broke something inside her. It felt that way. She knew she broke something inside him too, his pride, maybe. But she didn’t know a broken pride could hurt so much. “Do as you please.” 

Without much else, Rhaegar turned and left, followed by Arthur. 

She was bitting her lower lip, she was about to make it bleed, that much she could tell. It felt as if a part of her was following him through the crowd, holding him, hugging him. But she was still there, standing still, frozen. 

Robert put an arm around her waist, and wiped the thin red line erupting from his lower lip down to his chin. He was pissed, she could see. “That fucker” he spat the insult towards his then absent cousin. “At least now he’ll leave you alone” 

He would. He would leave her. He left her already. Lyanna held her breath, and closed her eyes. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me.


	25. Conversations in the Aftermath

The pounding -or perhaps, the hammering- was what woke him up. That, and the extremely brightness of the room. Oh, and the sore face too, of course. Was he in the seventh hell already?

His mouth felt as dry as a desert, and his temples were pounding painfully, his jaw hurt. Or was it his cheekbone? He could not quite tell. Did a truck run him over? It felt that way.

“You’re finally awake” his sister’s voice rang clear as a bell, but even such a soft and normally melodic sound seemed irritating at the moment.

Shaena gave him a glass of water, and a pill, her unimpressed eyes were even slightly mocking when he barely managed to sit. He was in his own room, at least. 

And just when things were clearing up, every image from the night before came rushing into him, wave after wave, drowning him. It was better, the soreness, the headache, and the ignorance. 

“I think this is the first time in my life I ever see you come home in this state” Shaena lifted her perfectly arched eyebrows at him, her blonde locks falling over her face just after she accommodated them behind her ear. She did seem slightly surprised. “Arthur’s downstairs, he’s having something to eat. Are you going down, or should I tell him to come? Oh, and, please, put some ice on your cheek. Mom is going to freak out if she sees you like that” 

He touched his cheekbone, too roughly, so he had to immediately release the pressure applied upon. Robert. He could spit the name. And unpleasant sensation was filling him. “Tell him to come up. And…” he frowned, his fingers were rubbing, trying to relieve the pressure on his forehead “Could you… Please, tell someone to bring some ice” 

His sister nodded, uncrossing the arms she had upon her chest. “Some ice, and something to eat too… You look like shit” 

He gave her a short, humorless smile. “Lovely”

After Shaena was gone, it wasn’t long before Arthur showed up at his door, looking already awake. 

“You look like shit” his friend’s eyes flickered a few times, but unlike Shaena, his expression held no mockery. It was the second time someone told him that. Perhaps, he should get a mirror. “How are you feeling?”

“ _Like_ shit” he deadpanned, thinking of the night before. How else was he supposed to feel? Merciless images came to his mind one after another, making his stomach turn. 

“That explains it” Arthur shrugged, leaning his form lazily against the doorframe.

Was it real? It had to be. And it made him feel like crap.

“I can’t believe what she did” he wasn’t quite sure whether he was mouthing such words at himself, or if he was actually starting a conversation about Lyanna with Arthur. “I just can’t. Why would she do something like that?”

Did she want to hurt him, by using Robert mere days after he told him they could be together? Was she mocking him? Or was she simply using her freedom without much consideration? It seemed so.

“Perhaps she just likes your cousin” Ah, his cousin. So much for family bonds. He wondered if he would ever be able to be in the same family gathers with him again without throwing a fist at his face. Unlikely. 

Still, he tried to remember anything, anything at all that could possibly indicate some kind of attraction between Lyanna and Robert. He couldn’t. Maybe he was too blind back then to see any sign, maybe he was too busy drowning in her silver pools to notice anything.

At Arthur’s notion, Rhaegar simply chuckled. Not the kind of chuckle one would produce when happy though, but rather a bitter one. “I never saw it coming. I want to to believe that she just was not being herself. I don’t see how…” he trailed off, words getting stuck in his throat. 

“She left with him, after the party. Several people saw her” and just like that, Arthur finished to sink and twist the knife buried in his stomach. It certainly felt that way. 

But he supposed, adding salt to the wound, was better than to pretend it was not there. That was the thing with their friendship, no filters were ever applied. 

He ran his hand through his hair, a long, heavy sigh escaped his lips. It was only an attempt to calm himself, because otherwise, he would explode. 

Lyanna left with Robert. With fucking Robert. The possibilities, the obvious ones, were threatening to just break his mental health. He already saw them kissing in a most provocative manner, imagining what came after, was not so difficult. He felt like he could kill Robert. Nothing would give him more pleasure than that, for sure. 

And Lyanna, Lyanna… Was it even possible to hate someone, but want them and love them at the same time? 

Arthur stepped inside, arms crossed upon his chest as he positioned himself in front of him. “I’m sorry. I had to tell you.”

“It’s fine” it was not fucking fine. It was a nightmare. Yet, that was all he could articulate. Arthur didn’t buy it, the look he gave him was quite clear. He would not fool him, ever. But wasn’t that the standard thing to say? ‘I’m fine’, because what else could he say? 

“Forget her… Just stay away from her, alright?”

Forget her? he should’ve forgotten her a long time ago, back to when he was still with Elia and all they actually shared were stares and some odd tension at times. Back then, he still had a chance. But he had to be a dick to Elia, he had to be an idiot and fall for Lyanna, and now, he was paying the consequences of his idiocy. He deserved it, didn't he? And yet, he was nowhere near to forget _her._ Damn him and his idiocy. 

“I can try” 

Arthur pressed his lips together before speaking, his eyes narrowing at him. “Look… I know what she means to you. We spoke about it once, and even if we hadn’t, I would've known. You don’t screw with people, you don’t hurt your loved ones, you are not a dick. Not the Rhaegar that I’ve known for fifteen years. And yet, you did all of those things for her. You ruined your relationship with Elia, you hurt her, you lied to her… For Lyanna.” He did. And he would do it all over again. It was shameful, truly. He could just throw his pride away, apparently, he didn’t need it any longer. “And I’m sorry to tell you this, man… But it wasn’t worth it. Now I don’t really know Lyanna, but it seems as if it wasn’t even half as meaningful to her as it was to you. I won’t even try to understand women, but this one made it easy for you and left it all quite clear.” 

Could it be that he was the only one who felt that way about their ‘relationship’ all along? If Arthur had told him such a thing before that night, he would not listen a word of it. He was so sure, so fucking sure. But now… With the image of his cousin sticking his tongue into Lyanna’s mouth as if he could just suck her whole face, well, it simply seemed like one of those color faded memories that whenever one tried to remember, was made brighter and brighter, to an unrealistic point.  Again, the blade twisted in his stomach in the most painful way.  

Lyanna, in her own way, had cared. He simply knew. But apparently, that was all.

What was he supposed to say? Defend the words she had recited to him more than once? How? Her actions did not match that idea of his, that idea in which Lyanna actually felt something for him. Perhaps it was all just a game for her. She told him once she was fucked up, but she needn’t. He knew she was fucked up from the moment he saw her sitting on the street with a cigarette in hand, strikingly beautiful, with her long legs and her torn stockings, and that resigned loneliness.

Arthur was still waiting for an answer while he imagined her all over again.   

Luckily for him, he wouldn't have to say much. A maid entered the room, placing a tray filled with food on his nightstand, and handed him the ice bag he asked for.

“Thank you” he held the cold bag in his hand, feeling the icy sensation spread across his fingers. 

His head was throbbing, but he could still use some alcohol at that moment.

After the maid was gone, Arthur’s eyes were still on him, demanding some sort of answer, or at least a poor statement.

However, there was no clever reply, no sharp, offensive comment, nothing. Three simple words. “I deserved it” _Let me go. I told you. I don’t want to be with you._ Her words were crystal clear, and they were cutting tiny pieces of his idiotic heart. And it was fine, because he deserved it. She warned him. She warned him from the start, and he didn’t want to listen. 

He could perfectly remember that morning in his bedroom, when her hair was spilled all over his pillow, and her soft profile was being traced by the first beams of light crossing his room in the morning. He didn’t want to look to his side, because he fancied he could still trace the lines of her body lying there next to him, and he feared he could find her silver eyes staring back. 

She told him that she was happy with him. And that it meant that it would hurt, _him_ leaving _her_. It was ironic, wasn’t it? In the end, she was the one who left. 

Seasons could change, and so could hearts, right?

“Oh, fuck this self pitying act. What the hell, Rhaegar? We all screw up, and shit just happens. You fucked things up with Elia, you feel guilty, fine… But don’t come up with that ‘I deserve it’ crap”

Fair point. He was pathetic, drowning in his own self pity, in that enveloping sadness. The experience, it was foreign to him, and he did not know what to do with it. Lyanna struck him, hard. And he didn’t know what to do with the ache. 

His hangover was also striking him right in the head, and it seemed to be getting worse by the minute. He could not think clearly. “Would you stop scolding at me for one second?” he sighed in annoyance, closing his eyes at the sudden, hammering pain that had came back to torture him. As if thinking about _her_ wasn’t bad enough, wasn’t hurtful enough. “I got it. It’s over, she doesn’t want me anymore. I won’t go crawling back to her, if that’s what you’re worried about” 

Arthur would spit on him if he knew what he was thinking. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to know why, he wanted to understand. How pathetic could he be? What the fuck was there to ask, when she had already told him everything? When she left with Robert after the party… Was there anything else to talk about? Hardly. And yet, as he said the words, as he said he would not go crawling back to her, all he could think of was _her_. 

But that murdering feeling came flying back to him, and all he could see was angry red. Red, red, red. And it was good, truly. Because the anger, it soothed the pain, somehow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Are you okay?” 

The question lingered for a while, Ned’s eyes resting upon her. Was she okay? “Yes” _No._

Her brother hummed, suspicion glimmering in his grey grey eyes. 

She didn’t even want to think about it. To think about Rhaegar, about Robert, about what she did… _Who_ she did. 

It was odd, and strange, and impersonal, and it did not feel quite right. More than anything, it ended up being frustrating, because whenever she closed her eyes, she knew it was Robert there, but indigo eyes and golden skin was all she could think of. Even when Robert was the absolute opposite to Rhaegar, in every possible way. 

It was not what she was expecting.  But it was what she wanted, wasn’t it? Not to feel a thing. And she did not feel a thing. It had been meaningless and empty, and she had been aware, maybe too aware. Wasn’t that what she wanted?

“You don't look… Okay” Eddard. Her beloved brother. What would he think of her? Would he be mad at her? 

Rhaegar was mad at her. No. He hated her. And why wouldn’t he? She could not even begin to imagine what she would do, how she would feel, if he suddenly decided to do the same thing to her. It would hurt, like hell, for sure, and deep inside, she was begging for him not to do so. 

She needed to get him out of her head. 

“Truly, I’m fine. You? What are you doing today?” Lyanna gave him a mid smile, and noticed her meal was still untouched. That was why her brother was being all inquisitive, then. She sank her fork into the food in her plate, with not much enthusiasm in the act though. 

Ned frowned, if only for a moment, in apparent confusion. “Ah… I’m fine. Catelyn and I are going to the movies. Want to come?” 

Lyanna smiled. Sweet Ned, how could it be that they could be brother and sister, and yet, be so different. She was fucked up in the head, Ned was not, Ned was sweet, and kind, and had something so peaceful about him that it seemed nothing would ever go wrong with him. She did not have those qualities. Brandon, she could believe they were both branches of the same tree, both a mess, but Ned… Oh, Ned. “And be a third wheel? No, thanks” she declined the invitation with the smile on her face, as she lifted the glass of orange juice in front of her, supping from it. 

He liked Catelyn. It was painfully obvious. And she liked him back. And she was sweet, and kind, and gentle, just like him. And they made her think that it could actually be nice, that it could be okay. 

But they were who they were, and she was who she was. And she was not so simple, and her demons would not stop poking her with pointy needles whenever she was ‘happy’, and she could not stop feeling like she was on the edge of a cliff whenever she and Rhaegar… 

She had to stop thinking about him. 

“Well, if you change your mind, let me know. I will pick her up at six” 

She denied with her head. She would not spoil her brother’s date. Was she looking so terrible that morning, that he pitied her so?  “Don’t worry. I’ll find something else to do. Where’s dad?” 

“He had a meeting. He’s coming back tomorrow”

Lyanna lifted her eyebrows, unimpressed. “He didn’t tell me anything” not that he ever did anyway. Once again, she wondered if he was just mad at her for being such a ‘trouble kid’, or if he was just disappointed, or if it was because she resembled her mother so much that it made him uncomfortable -that, everyone who knew her mother, had told her at some point. That she looked so much like her-. In any case, her father, was a distant figure. Not that she had been the greatest daughter either, she had to give him that. 

Her phone buzzed, and she looked down to her lap, where the screen was shining intensely. 

For a single moment, her heart stopped, thinking of _him._ For that fleeting moment, she thought it could be him, and some sort of knot formed in her stomach. 

It didn’t last much. 

_Robert._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was bored.


	26. Musings at Night

Listening behind doors, it was one of her ugly manners, she reckoned. Specially since Ned was the one responsible while her father was gone for one of his multiple business trips. It was simply a necessity, to hear the ‘instructions’ given to her brother, in order to know how to survive in Ned's rigid reign. 

And this time, it was no different. Ned was in charge, of course. 

“You don’t need to worry. We’ll be fine” Her brother had always had it in him, to be the responsible one, to be wise and prudent and… Well, he was their father’s dream child, nobody could deny that. “We’re not children anymore” she heard the hollow voice through the wood, reassuring her father in the most confident way. Somehow, when Eddard said it, it sounded reassuring. If Brandon said it, it would sound like a catastrophe waiting to happen.  

“That’s exactly why I’m concerned sometimes” the deeper voice replied, stern. She wondered what her father was thinking. It was almost as if, deep inside, he knew what his children were doing. It was as if he could almost think it all true, except for the lack of evidence.

Brandon getting drunk and having sex? He surely knew about that. But about her? Not really. He didn’t know a thing about it, luckily for her. He would freak out. Any parent would, if they found out that their children were consuming pills and having meaningless sex with their brother’s friend. Something about the thought made her bit her lip, sinking her mien into a scowl.

“Ned” she heard her father’s voice getting through the wooden door once more “I want you to take care of your sister” Lyanna raised a quizzical eyebrow. Edward, taking care of her? That wouldn't work. “I’m not worried about you, or Benjen. You are just fine, Benjen is a good kid, but Lyanna…” _But Lyanna what?_ “Your sister… I’m worried about her. You have to watch over her while I’m gone”

The silence stretched for too long, at least for her liking. Oh, she was dying to be able to see what was happening inside. Until Ned finally answered.

“Lyanna’s fine, dad” She wondered if her father could also detect the lie in the air. She knew she could. Ned never approved of her ways, and he, better than anyone, knew what she was doing. He was horrified, at the beginning. But she did not want to think of his reasons, of why did it all begin, for those memories hurt too badly still, and her stupid injuries were fresh and painful. Stupid girl.  “But I’ll take care of her. I promise” 

“Three weeks, son. If you need anything, or if something happens, call me. Immediately” 

“I will, dad”

Having heard the end of the conversation, Lyanna decided it was time to go downstairs and pretend she didn’t hear a thing. 

Down there, Benjen was sitting on the couch, coloring one of his books, his curls falling over his face. She wondered how did he manage to see anything with those wild tangles falling over his eyes. The thought made her smile. 

“Is dad leaving now, Lya?” he lifted his big, grey eyes to her. 

“He is” she could already hear the steps on the stairs, coming down slowly. 

And just as predicted, Ned and her father were coming down, her father carrying a suitcase, and Ned helping him with another. 

Her father ruffled Benjen’s hair, and gave the child a quick smile before asking him to behave, and to listen to his siblings. As for Ned, the things between them were always short, practical. They hugged, briefly, but she could tell that there was a silent agreement between them that had already been discussed upstairs. 

But when her turn came…

“Leave me with your sister, alone” 

Following their father’s wishes, Ned took Benjen’s hand, and guided him inside. 

Was he going to lecture her? Or would he let her know his concerns, just like he did with Ned. 

However, there was no lecture, no severe stares, no nothing, but only a simple request. “Take care, Lyanna” 

Her father’s eyes were upon her, and for a moment, she swore she could see right through him. He wanted to say more, so much more. But he could never bring himself to do such a thing. _Why?_ Why was that? Why did he sometimes looked sad, and yet, at the same time, it was as if he were made of stone? 

It was rare, but sometimes, she could see it. Sometimes she could see that strange melancholy wandering in her father’s eyes whenever he looked at her. “Why?” she suddenly found herself asking, the words almost ghosting out of her mouth, faintly. But they just kept pouring. “Why don’t you talk to me, dad? Like you do with Ned. Or Brandon. Even Ben.” Perhaps, she knew why. It was quite simple. Everyone would always point it out. Everyone, everyone who met her mother. And she knew that was the reason. “Is not my fault…”

His eyes flickered, looking slightly taken aback. It looked like he almost forced himself to ask: “What are you talking about, Lyanna?”

“That I look like mom. Is not my fault” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The beer was cold, the weather was nice, the pool was refreshing, and it was Friday night. Maybe at some other time, he would’ve been able to just chill and forget about the world around him, like he used to do, and just get lost in the night sky above him. The task proved to be much more difficult with a broken heart and a single name and face in his mind though. 

“You guys are still here” the feminine voice that broke the comfortable silence reigning between him and Arthur, belonged to Ashara.

He didn’t need to look back to know. But he still did, and so did Arthur. 

The girl sat with her ankles crossed near the edge of the pool, letting herself fall graciously, a ridiculously oversized t-shirt hanging from her body, and a bottle of water in hand. 

“Hey… Is that my t-shirt?” Arthur scowled, causing the opposite reaction in her. A lovely, soft laughter rang across the yard, irritating his friend even more. “Would you stop stealing my clothes?” 

Not at all impressed with her brother’s disapproval, she dismissed the subject as if it were not of importance to her. “Dad wants to talk to you. Something about his car. He’s not happy” she narrowed her eyes, and gave Arthur an almost condescending look through those long lashes that framed her violet orbs. 

“Fuck” Arthur mumbled, a heavy sigh abandoning his lips as he made his way to the stairs of the pool. “I’ll be right back” he grunted as he left the bottle of bear he was holding on the edge of the pool. “And stop stealing my stuff” he mumbled with a snarl that seemed more comical than anything else. 

If it was about his car, it probably had something to do with the huge dent on one of the sides. A dent Arthur was responsible for, when trying to park his own car when drunk. Brilliant idea. 

“So” Ashara trailed off, as Rhaegar leaned against the cold ceramic, taking a sip from his bottle, and watching his friend going to a death sentence. However, she never finished whatever she wanted to say. 

Rhaegar lifted an eyebrow. “So?” 

“Have you heard from Elia?” mimicking him, she took a sip from her bottle as well. 

Elia. The last thing in his mind at the moment, was Elia. “Not a word.” he simply replied. It was easier than to explain how incredibly insensitive he had been with the whole matter. He sounded pretty much like an ass. “Have you?” He was deflecting. 

Ashara hummed, changing her position, dipping her feet into the pool, and getting slightly closer. “No. I haven’t heard from her. Last thing I knew, was that she was in Dorne, with her brothers” Ashara shrugged, making a wave of movement in the oversized t-shirt she was wearing. 

It was better that way, he supposed. Elia hated scandals. And the one she had to put up with, well… She was embarrassed, and she felt humiliated. She would not stay and just tolerate the mean, hurtful comments, would she? People from their college, well, they all sucked. 

And it was disgusting, how some people would actually feel _amused_ by Elia’s misery. 

“What about Lyanna?” 

To his disgrace, she mentioned her name. He felt as if his body was heavier in the water, as if he could just sink. But then again, it was all in his head. 

The worst part was that whenever the name was brought upon a conversation, another one was automatically attached to it in his head. Lyanna. And fucking Robert. 

A thought made him curve his lips in an ironic, sour grin. Was his cousin making use of her now? 

He tried to push the thought away, unsuccessfully, with the next question. “What about her?”

“I’m sorry” she pressed her lips together as her mien fell in regret. “I’m making you uncomfortable, aren’t I?” she moved her feet in the water, and directed her violet orbs to the waves she was causing with her movements. She looked positively remorseful, in her own way.

It was not her fault. Of course not. He’d been thinking about Lyanna all night anyway, she didn’t make it any worse. If he continued that way, people would start to think they’d have to walk on eggshells around him. How pathetic could he be? 

“Pffft” he smiled at her, putting his best mask on, and hoping it would work. “Don’t be. You’re not making me uncomfortable” He shrugged in faked indifference. The less he talked about it, the better. And so, he put on one of the cheekiest smiles in his arsenal “It would take more than that” 

In response, her lips too curved in a wide smile, and her eyes shimmered again. At least now he knew he didn’t look as pathetic as he thought. “Now, would you tell me, why exactly are you stealing Arthur’s ugly t-shirts?” 

He had been wondering. The garment seemed more like a dress in her than a t-shirt. It was odd. 

However, Ashara simply let a melodic chuckle out, and she leaned forward, resting her weight on her elbows. “The truth?” 

Rhaegar nodded, waiting for the girl’s answer. 

“I know he loves this t-shirt. And I love messing with him. That’s pretty much it” she stuck her tongue out, apparently enjoying her own little personal prank to her brother. It was no evil, master plan. But then again, it was simple, and Arthur was easy to annoy. 

“I’d be worried if I were you” he sipped from his bottle once again. The beer was no longer as cold as before, he noticed, as he almost emptied the bottle. 

“Why?”

“Well, knowing Arthur, he’d be capable of putting on _your_ clothes only to get back at you. Imagine that” He entertained the notion in his head. Not a very flattering image of his friend. Yes, it was definitely something Arthur would do. Not a nice thing to watch though.

“No, thanks…” The girl’s lips curved down as he nose wrinkled. It was probably the same face he made. “Hey, you know what?” 

“What?”

“I’m starving. Want to come with me and go find something to eat?” 

“Uh…” He directed his sight to the house, to the entrance through which Arthur entered, exactly. They would have to leave the house, and find a place to buy something to eat. But… “What about Arthur?”

Ashara followed his sight, and withdraw her feet from the water. “I don’t think he’ll be excused any time soon” She almost laughed.

“Fine. Let’s go”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, this is what you think it is.


	27. Waves

Thankfully, not everyone was completely aware of the tension between them, which only meant, no questions, no lingering looks, and most importantly, nobody sticking their nose into his business. Of course, they still talked. They still talked about Lyanna, about him, about Robert. But they were ‘old news’, and he had to admit, he was relieved. 

But he knew, he knew the weekend would not be as relaxed as planned when he saw Robert and Lyanna. 

It only lasted a second. But it was intense. It was a moment filled with anger, disappointment, _jealousy_ that burned to his bones, and oh, he could just punch a wall at that moment. She was standing there, with her grey, grey eyes, looking at him as if she’d seen a ghost. As if she didn’t know he’d be there. And behind her, Robert was holding her, his hands were somehow too demanding on her waist, and he seemed to want to devour her right there and then. His hands fisted, and his knuckles went white. 

He turned his gaze away. He could not look. And apparently, neither could Ned Stark, for he did not seem too pleased with the view either. A subtle gesture, the one he made, but it was enough for him to see how displeased Lyanna’s brother truly was about Robert fucking his sister. The word, the whole idea, it made his blood boil. 

But he knew Lyanna. She probably didn’t give a fuck. Did she even care about anything? And, most importantly, did he even knew her? Or was it all just an act she put? 

Rhaegar tortured himself for days, weeks even, trying to put the pieces together, trying to understand her actions, words, anything. Trying to find indicators in some fragments of his memory, it was hard. But nothing seemed to fit. Not even the one crude theory that came to his mind one cloudy morning while his sister was humming a soft melody in the kitchen. 

Perhaps he had been only a whim of hers. One she got tired of. 

But then again, that didn’t fit either. At least not in his head, at least not in the way he pictured her. And besides, he didn’t want it to be true either. 

“It’s fucking hot. These bungalows better have air conditioner” Arthur grumbled, but he barely even heard him, for he was trying hard not to look at _their_ direction, not to look at her pale, grey eyes, at her red lips, and even less so, at his cousin’s satisfied face. 

“I can’t wait to go to the beach. They say their beaches are far more beautiful than King’s Landing’s” Ashara leaned her weight on him, with a wide smile on her face. Something in the way she eyed something beyond him, made him see that she was quite aware of Lyanna’s presence in the place. “You will join me, right?” 

Join her? With the bitter mood he carried, he was not going to be good company for anyone but his harp. But then again, Ashara’s almost begging eyes and excited smile were impossible to say no to. 

“Sure. Just, let me unpack, and wait for me here” The thing was… It’d be better to just get the fuck out of that place, before he lost his mind. The last thing he needed, was to watch his cousin enjoying her company. 

“I’ll go with you” Arthur carelessly said while already leaving for their room. 

He looked to the side once again, hoping to find Lyanna’s face. She was a magnet, and he was one fucking weak piece of metal. But when he looked, she was gone. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His eyes, those remarkable indigo eyes, they were cold, they told her nothing, they were no longer warm and loving, not to her. It happened so fast.

He gave her the coldest look anyone ever directed at her. It lasted only a second, but it felt as if someone was pining a nail into her chest. 

He was there, sure, he was still himself, he was breathtakingly handsome, he was just… He was Rhaegar. But not to her. Did he hate her? Did she disgusted him? 

The moment in which his indigo eyes landed on her, they remained on her face, only to go down to her waist, to where Robert was holding her. He looked away immediately, and never turned again. 

Robert’s hands felt like a prison, like snakes tangling around her body, and she felt as if she could just scream and curse and cry a little. 

The feeling deepened, when she saw Ashara Dayne leaning against him. Perhaps it was just her imagination playing dirty tricks on her tortured mind, but her hands seemed too want too much, she seemed to look at him the way other girls looked at him in the hallways, she seemed too… Too dazzled. But that could not be, right? Ashara was Arthur’s sister. And Arthur was his best friend. He would not do that, right? Wasn’t she like a little sister to him? 

And as if fate was mocking her, the living proof that destroyed her reassurance, that destroyed that weak obstacle she imagined for those two, pulled her closer to his muscular body. “I can’t wait to be alone with you. I brought pills too”  

The thought produced nothing inside her. Robert’s insinuation caused absolutely nothing, which was fine, perfectly so. But why did it feel wrong? Did it matter? 

Doing pills, getting high, fuck, and then sleep. It was all they did. She enjoyed some of it, or at least, so she thought. It was the strangest of feelings. She didn’t see Robert as she did Rhaegar. No fucking way. But he made her laugh, with his bawdy jokes and his out of place comments and the stupid things he did. In his own, twisted, fucked up way, he seemed to care for her. Which was odd, considering they had been only fucking around for a few weeks. 

Some days he would bring her food, and they would just watch a movie. And, of course, they both knew how it would end. But he cared, in his twisted manner. 

She cared too. He was some kind of company, some kind of friend you can fuck. He made her feel a little less alone. But he was not Rhaegar, and he was not enough, and he would never be, but she would have to calm her soul in order to maintain her mental strength. 

And as Robert led her to their bungalow, she wondered where would Rhaegar go. And most importantly, would Ashara be with him? Was he finding the same comfort she found in Robert, in Ashara? Black talons squeezed her heart, painfully so.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey!” Big, lavender eyes were wide open in front of him, her nose was wet, and so was the rest of her tanned skin. Her face was close, too close, so he had to squeeze his eyes behind his sunglasses, in order to focus his sight. “Why are you in mute mode? Stop being weird and come with me to the water” Ashara grabbed his hands with her wet ones, and pulled him up, and he simply surrendered to her will and was soon on his feet. 

“Fine” he gave her a mid smile, and at the distance, he could see Arthur swimming against the waves. It was a beautiful day, but the thing was, he didn’t give a single fuck about the beauty of the day. “What exactly is your brother trying to do?” he pointed with a finger towards Arthur, and Ashara rolled her eyes in response, still holding his hand while guiding him to the water. “He’s ‘racing’. I call it ‘the douche race’. He’s competing with another idiot to see who can make it to the next beach faster” 

Unimpressed, he lifted his eyebrows. At some other time, he would’ve done it too. “Well, it sounds like him” 

“Come” Ashara squeezed his hand when the salty waves of the sea embraced their feet, reaching all the way to his ankles. “I can’t see you sitting there, staring at nothing, all ogre-ish” 

“I’m not ‘ogre-ish’” He tried to defend himself, even when he knew it was in vain. Of course he was ‘ogre-ish’, of course he was distracted and moody. But he would not admit it. And of course, Ashara gave him an incredulous look, accompanied by one of her lovely grins. 

“Shut up. Just come with me” she pulled his hand once more, and soon enough, he was already with the water reaching his chest, the waves throwing themselves wildly against them. 

It was cold, refreshing, and it felt amazing. He forgot how much he loved all of that, how he used to spend most of his days in the beach. 

At some point, a wave covered Ashara completely, her eyes were tightly shut after the powerful wave left, her face was completely soaked. “Are you okay, shorty?” 

“Shut up and help me up” she laughed, throwing her arms around his neck in order to keep her head out of the water. She was surely standing in her tip-toes. 

Another wave charged against them, pushing them closer. But that didn’t made him uncomfortable, didn’t surprise him either. What did, was what she did next.

Ashara, with her arms still around his neck, tangled her legs around his waist, and leveled her face to his. And she was close. Too close.

He remained still, her breathing was caressing his skin, and her lavender eyes seemed to want to eat him alive. 

At that point, what she was going to do, was quite predictable. Ashara brushed his lips with hers, and closed her eyes. He could see her, for he did not close his. 

Was he surprised? Hell, yes. 

“Ash…” He stopped her, pulling away a few centimeters. 

Ashara opened her stunning lavender eyes, and she pressed her lips tightly together. She was not embarrassed. She seemed… Hopeful? 

“What?” she mused, and another wave made them come closer again. 

Rhaegar frowned, not in disgust, not in rejection, but in wonder. “What are you doing?”

“I wanted to kiss you” she simply smiled. 

What was she thinking? He could not say. 

Ashara… Ashara was beautiful, stunning even. But he never though of her like that. He never really saw her, he never really thought about it. 

In any case, the silent proposal didn’t really light any fire within him. And he would not pretend, he would not lie. “You know what I’m going through right now, Ash. You _know_. Besides, you’re my best friend’s sister…” _Arthur._

“I know. I know you won’t lie to me. And… Arthur? He knows I’m not a child. _You_ know that. If you don’t want this, don’t use my brother as an excuse” she gave him a kind grin when mentioning Arthur, one that let him know that she wasn’t being edgy, or bold, but rather honest. 

“We should get out” That was all he could say, still feeling lost, and Ashara untangled herself from him. “Let’s talk”

They walked until they reached their earlier spot, and they both sat on the warm sand. Despite what happened, it didn’t feel uncomfortable, it just felt… Odd. Slightly odd. 

“I like you.” She broke the silence, straight to the point. “I liked you, for a long time now” she blushed, intensely so, he could notice the blush even under her tan. “When you were with Elia… I knew there was nothing I could do. And it was fine, because, the thing is, Rhaegar… I’m not in love with you, so don’t freak out” she smiled, reassuringly so “But I really do like you. And yes, I could easily fall in love with you. And I know this is probably not the best timing… But I just… I don’t know, I just did what I felt back there.”

“I… I didn’t know. I never even suspected. You’re Arthur’s little sister, I never even…”

“I’m not his _little_ sister.” Ashara complained in a playful way “I’m just his sister. I’m only a year younger than you” she laughed then, musically so “So don’t give me _that_ talk”

He couldn’t help but to smile back. He forgot, he wasn’t _that_ old. And he forgot, she wasn’t stupid. She was quick and clever. But even if Arthur knew his sister was not a little girl, even if she usually did what she wants to do without his permission, he did not feel comfortable with the idea in his head. And besides, even if he did… How could he, when Lyanna was ruining him from the inside. Would she listen to him? 

He would try. “I know, I know. Ashara… You know where my head is right now. What happened with Lyanna…” Mentioning her once again, felt like a defeat “It’s been barely a few weeks” he frowned, holding a sigh back. 

From her place, Ashara gave him a warm look. She was smiling, with her chin resting on her hand. She was a lovely girl, what was she doing wasting her time with him? He, who only had eyes for Lyanna. He, who only had thoughts for Lyanna. He, who was still a blind idiot who played the part of a puppet. 

But still, Ashara looked at him as if he were something out of their fucking world. 

“I’m not stupid. I know she’s still in your head.” she licked her lips, and pouted for a second, before adding: “But why don’t you open up. Why don’t you try to let her go? You should move on…” He knew the untold phrase that followed. _‘She did’_. But Ashara never said it. She was far too kind to say it.  “I won’t pressure you. And I’m still your friend, and if you don’t like me back, that’s fine, I swear. That doesn’t have to change our friendship” she sighed “But if you want to try… I’m here”

To try. 

As Ashara walked towards the sea once again, the words resounded in his head. Was he actually considering it? Was his ego so hurt, that he was actually considering such an option? Or was he so desperate to forget about  _her_ and the way in which she played with him as if he was a toy? Would it really make him feel better? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm really sleepy right now... Like, I can barely even write this right now... But I hope you enjoy this...


End file.
